Why Am I Like This - Blog Posts

Me: You should socialize with people more

Also me:

Honestly this is litteraly what goes through my head everyday ~Charlie

The way I draw eyes makes me question things sometimes

i want to do an art but its 12:17 am :(

After playing Assassin's Creed [ezio's] and then playing Far Cry 5, I was waiting for the deputy to say Ezio's line. You know the whole "Requiescat in Pace." In a sense of killing the seeds.

God I love these games

But do you see my vision

My one dream car I'll never have.

Promotional footage of Mario presenting a real-life recreation of a Mario Kart 7 Standard Kart to a winner of a GameStop giveaway in 2012.

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Heyyyy I love your work and I hope I’m not bothering you by asking you this, but will you be making a part 2 of your Hot and Tasty Rengoku fic? Totally okay if you’re not. Your writing is fantastic ❤️❤️❤️

This. Is. So. Sweet. Got me crying in the club fr fr. This really encourages me to try the best I can when writing <3 I have a whole Google Slides presentation dedicated to fics I want to write. I was thinking of one far in the future that would've been a short check-in when I first started writing it, but I fell in love with the storyline. So I'm fleshing out a longer version to give Kyojuro the love he deserves. This does mean it'll probably take a while for me to work up the courage to tackle it, but it's definitely on Google Slides!

<3 I hope my monkey brain thinks of more than just peen and boobies. And my hunchback of Notre Dame cosplay (gamer pose) doesn't fuck up my back even more than it already has.

ps. I just thought of that thing people usually do with their hands to sign s e x, but the circle is just rengoku as a donut :)

Words fall from my fingertips,

in hopes that they can catch the dreams in my heart.

Because the expanse that my life is,

will not be enough to keep them alive.

So I let the words flow,

and when I can't go on anymore,

I rest my hand and dream again.

And hope to see you once more there,

where everything is as I always imagined.

It seems like my heart only understands what you speak, even if you speak with an absence of words.

~

m.l.w

Hyperfixation is hitting hard cjsucuejdueeurufheh

Screaming crying throwing up

(Song is November by Sparkbird)

How can you not expect me to get attached when the first thing you said to me was, 'oh you've read that book?'

when i die im gonna be reborn as vanessa stockhards cat paintings

i swear it

Are you really an ENTP or do you just have high functioning ADHD?

There's probably 112 exactly like this but, hey. @markiplitessepticeyes @markiplier

started

I started playing swooning over stans ☆☆

Obviously Stans.

Giggling

Works in progress

I feel so fuckin stupid right now—

So, my sister whispered for me to something before I went to bed (she had to whisper it because my niece was sleeping) then she asked if I heard her and I nodded except I in fact didn't not hear her and my head hurts from me trying to understand what she told me to do, please help

So I just spent the day making Canolli's for Christmas lunch tomorrow because I told my Mum I'd learnt how to make them. What I didn't tell her was why.

I only learnt to make Canolli because of Sonny Carisi and his obsession with them. My God are they heavenly. I could eat them all day.

I

I'm buying too many accounts for F/GO on NA and JP. The options, oh the options...

The waifu's...

Lord help me.

Very random

But does anyone else have problems with socks that have a elastic band at the top (almost all of them) cuz they feel like they’re cutting off ur blood circulation or something idk

Cuz I favour the ones without the elastics as a result but u don’t really find them anywhere

Anyways would love some opinions

A Fly on the Wall (FemReader x Ghoap.)

Warnings: masturbation, thoughts of fucking, perverted deep thinking (me everyday probably) Ghoap x reader. Mentions of fucking. Established relationship (Simon x Johnny) some voyeurism mentioned? Getting caught kink

A pervy-ous situation wink wink. But for real tho I feel like I used their names too much to make sure everyone knows who's who. And in such a comfortable setting I feel they would use their normal names/nicknames for each other. I used Ghost once but you guys will tell when and why.

Enjoy, bone apple teeth-

What else could Johnny say except he didn't expect to find you humping your pillow. On a camera he set up. In his own room...

Earlier.

You came over to Johnny and Simon's house for the night so that the three of you could carpool tomorrow night to meet with Price and Gaz. And it wasn't out of the ordinary for you to sleep over. Johnny and Simon loved having you around. You helped clean, you cooked amazing food, and even helped to settle arguments between the couple. Or sometimes you'd start them, always a friendly bickering though.

And weeks ago, Johnny had set up a camera in his and Simon's room. Mind you that this was weeks before anyone planned on meeting up or carpooling. He just wanted to try to catch the sleep talking that Simon says he does.

"Can't understand a word you say." Simon had told him. "N' I thought I had gotten pretty good at makin sense of you talking everyday." And he let out a single chuckle before sipping his tea. He was so proud of his little joke, Johnny thought as he rolled his eyes.

So Johnny had hoped that he could catch what his dreaming self had said. And there was one instance that he did mumble something incoherent. But, the Scottish man did have a grand time rewatching him and Simon fuck. All the feed on the computer for both him and Si to comment and point at. As if watching a YouTube video.

Another week passed and he forgot about the camera. Not entirely but with planning a meet up and a sleep over, the camera thing was pushed to the back of his mind.

Then you came over to sleep. Normally you would be sleeping in the guest bedroom, but there were boxes on the bed and in the room. That was entirely Johnny's fault, and he took blame. When you had offered to take the couch, Simon scoffed.

"Absolutely not. Since this bloke forgot to clean out the room, he can get the couch. You take our bed for the night."

"And where will you sleep?" Johnny smirked.

Ghost stared him straight in the eye. "On you. Since you forgot to clean out the spare room." And Johnny didn't know if he should be scared or turned on...

So you went to their room, and he remembered you mentioned taking the pillow from the spare room because it was comfortable. He didn't think much of it.

Now.

In the early hours of the morning, Johnny was the first to wake. He fixed himself a cup of coffee and went to his computer. He intended to look back at some recipes he saved. (He was planning on surprising both Si and you with something new for breakfast. As an apology.) But he saw his camera app icon blinking. He cursed himself, knowing he forgot to stop the recording for last night.

He sighed and opened the app. He'll delete the footage of you sleeping. He didn't want to be seen as a creep. And he'll remember to tell you about the camera. The application was still loading, while it did a goofy smile found itself in his lips. What if there's footage of you snoring like a beast? Or maybe you fart in your sleep? He chuckled to himself, knowing that would be the best thing to ever find.

How wrong he would be.

The video feed finally came up and he played it, speeding he film up by 5x. It started from yesterday morning. He sees Simon's half naked figure getting up first, then coming back and waking Johnny up. He felt a little warmness in his chest at seeing it again, but kept watching. The two got dressed and then there was a gap where no activity happened.

Johnny hummed and paused, moved the feed forward and paused when you came into view. From there he played the video at 2x. A proud smile on his face as he was prepared to catch you snoring. As the video played out, you tossed and turned on the bed. Then you played on your phone. It was a back and forth and Johnny had checked the time stamps. It would be close to midnight and you were still awake.

He crossed his ankle over his knees while he thought back to how late him and Simon were up. His heart skipped when he realized that you might have been awake long enough to hear them screwing on the couch. The man mumbled a curse under his breath and looked back at the camera, ready to speed it up again when he saw at what part he was on.

You were on your hands and knees, back arched beautifully with your head bowed. Between your legs was the pillow from the spare room, scrunched in on itself. The Scott spit out his drink and paused the computer. He stood up and coughed up the coffee he accidentally inhaled.

"Bloody hell Johnny what are you doing in there?" Simon's groggy voice called from the couch. Johnny cleared his throat, but offered no explanation. His eyes darting to the hallway where the room was. You weren't awake. And he knew he should just be a good friend and shut the computer. Or even better, delete that footage.

But. He couldn't.

After a couple of long debating minutes, Johnny rewinded the video back carefully. He let it play at regular speed and watched the scene unfold. You sighed and sit up, your eyes darting to the door. You paused and he knew you were listening to them making love on the couch. Johnny's heart hammered and he covered his mouth.

You ran your fingers through your hair and laid back. After a few more minutes, you reached below the blankets and Johnny froze. He could see how your eyes closed. And beneath the blankets, your legs moved up. The video quality was good enough that he could see your eyebrows furrow in frustration. Then you moved and got up on your knees. Moving to the foot of the bed, you took the pillow you were using to lie on and folded it in half. Then you carefully got on top of it and looked at the door.

Johnny couldn't hear himself and Simon on the camera, but he knew you could. Something about this idea...it made him shiver in delight. Then you started to rock your hips. Slowly at first. You started building up speed and kept looking back at the door. He could see how you bit your lip, how your brows knit in concentration. Your mouth opened and Johnny leaned in, as if to try and hear you. But you ducked your head and closed your mouth. He found himself a bit disappointed, but before he could continue watching, Simon was standing up from the couch and stretching.

Johnny closed the computer and rested his arms atop. He didn't know his face was red. But he knew about the tightness in his pants. Shame blossomed all throughout his body and Simon looked at him, closely. He glanced between the computer and his boyfriend, before raising his brow. "Watching smut this early in the morning?" He walked over while stretching his shoulder. "I told you I don't mind it...but in the kitchen?" He stopped besdies Johnny and he could practically see the beads of sweat.

Simon's tone was softer when he spoke again. "Something else?"

Johnny sighed and opened the computer, waiting for the screen to come on again. "Si I dinnae mean to catch it! I was only watchn'to see if I could fine' dirt over th'lass n git a good laugh-" His words were more Scottish and more jumbled than Simon could ever have imagined. When the screen was opened and the video played, Simon hummed.

"I don't mind you watchin a woman gettin off either, Johnny." His sleepy mind didn't comprehend what he was seeing. Then it was like his brain did a double take and he was leaning over to look closer at the screen. "Hold on. Is that-" and then he realized what he was seeing, who he was watching and he stood up straight again. "Oh fuckin hell."

Now the both of them were staring at the screen. But Simon was analyzing everything. "I said it was an accident. Forgot about the camera I had in there." Johnny mumbled, rubbing his face again. "I just wanted to see if I could y'know! Catch her snoring or somethin wild..."

"Something wild indeed." Simon mumbled making Johnny nearly groan at the terrible joke. But then Simon was making connections too. His eyes darting at the time stamps and seeing how you kept looking to the door, as if listening. "She gettin off to hearin us?" Johnny nodded, not surprised that he caught on that quick. Then Simon huffed. "I hope she isn't using my pillow..."

That earned a slap to his shoulder and a quick correction that you were using the pillow from the spare room. They continue to watch the video, and watched as your hips bucked wildly. Your head fell back as you reached your end and both men kept their eyes between your blissed out reaction and your hips as they stuttered to a slow stop. But you slowly kept going and Johnny had to adjust himself, cursing again.

Simon had to shift from foot to foot, his own problem arising at the video. He sighed and tapped his fingers against the table.

What they didn't know, was they shared the same thought. How you got off to them, made them both hot and bothered. Not only that, but seeing you in such a primal desperate position? Humping a pillow to the moans and grunts of them fucking in the next room while you nearly ripped the sheets from gripping them so hard. Your hips imitating the idea of yourself on top of one of them, trying to find release in the idea that you could have been there with them last night...

Simon groaned and looked at Johnny, who looked up at him. Johnny swallowed thickly before asking. "What should we do?"

Si seemed to perk up and he walked behind Soap who was sitting in the chair still. He pressed his half hardened cock against his back to conceal it while reaching over to the laptop and exiting the camera app. Johnny didn't question it the moment you shuffled in and mumbled a sleepy good morning to the both of them. They gave you a greetings back, watching you carefully.

You yawned and went to the fridge. Opening it up, you take out a water bottle and turn to the two men. "I'm gonna go shower in the guest bathroom. If you guys want I could make breakfast after I'm done." You still looked half asleep and likely you didn't notice how stiff their postures were.

Simon hummed. "No need sweetheart. Johnny was just about to get started on some pancakes. Want a stack?" His tone was even without a hint of worry in it. Practiced, Johnny thought.

You smiled at the both of them. "Yeah I'd like that. Thank you." You turned to walk down the hall but paused. "Oh and I have to say, the bed you guys have is so comfortable." You chuckled. "It smells like the both of you but I didn't mind it."

And you walked to the spare bathroom, not noticing how Johnny's jaw slackened and how Simon's grip on the back of the chair tightened. The door closed and Johnny spoke up. "We're bad friends."

Simon shook his head. "No we're not...like you said it was an accident... Y'know friends walk in on their friends changin or getting screwed all the time."

Johnny stood up and put his hands on his hips, his hard on evident through the thin pajamas. "But this? I don't know if I can laugh this one off Si." Simon was looking down at his partner, taking in the situation and then stepped close to him. "I don't know what we should do...confess?"

Simon reached forward and cupped Johnny's face, humming. "We'll ask her. I can coax it out of her if it makes you feel better." And he smirked when he saw how Johnny frowned in disapproval. "I won't say anything that will make her mad. Just ask her some questions... we'll all talk this out together."

He leaned in and kissed him, his hand pulling Johnny's head closer to his own. He had kissed back while his hands went to Simon's waist and gently pulled away. "You're not helping this situation."

Simon smirked. "We have 30 minutes. You make the pancakes and I'll fix the both of us out." He leaned in and pressed his lips to Johnny's neck, while his hands moved down the front of his pants. "You gonna start on that batter? Don't keep our girl waiting..."

A/n: (Pervy-ous.)Pervious is a gap between spaces of rock that allow water to pass through. Idk why I thought pervious meant like mischievous? Lol. Shoot me.

Me: iF yAiNt LiVe In TeXaS, yAiNt AmErIcAn

Also me: i have never set a goddamn foot outside the east coast

Why? Why do i do this to myself?

Ooooookay.

So this is partially the blog post I promised to my awesome mysterious tumblr mutual @lostclouds-world and partially an autism issue rant. If you don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff go ahead and skip this one.

So my friend that I’ve caught feelings for, has also told me numerous times that if I ever needed to talk that she’d listen. Well, of course I took that at face value, and because of how crappy this week has been mentally and lots of things bothering me, I finally caved and just poured it all out, including how I feel. It felt great to get everything off my chest, but I almost immediately felt like I had made some sort of mistake. It was so unfair of me to just put that all out there, even though I’d been told if I needed to I could.

Well it took almost all day for her to respond, and it turns out I was flipping right. I had once again apparently overstepped, and overshared. I had no shot to begin with, and now I’m not even sure I’ve got a friend because I was having a mini-crisis and turned to someone who had consistently told me that I could go to them if I needed to get stuff off my chest. So that’s that part. Now for the rant.

So why the flip do I even trust anyone when they say they’ll be there for me anymore? That every time someone says that if I need to talk, that they’ll listen? Pretty much every time I trust that, it turns out to be a lie. And why the flip do they try to assume that I want them to fix it?? Like if I’m talking to someone about something I don’t want them to fix it, I just want them to listen. I’m capable of dealing with crap myself, but talking it out helps. I swear sometimes I really hate being autistic because I can’t ever seem to be able to understand what people actually mean. And more importantly, why the flip do neurotypical people say things they don’t mean?? Like just say exactly what you mean, not what you think you should say. I’d have a lot more respect for people if that was how it worked.

But it’s not how it works, and so I’m stuck in a seemingly endless loop of trusting people only to be told that they’re not my therapist. Like you bitch of course you’re not my therapist. You’re my flipping friend, and YOU TOLD ME I COULD TRUST YOU IF I NEEDED TO TALK. But when I actually need to talk, it’s always either “I’m not equipped to handle this” or some variation of “I’m not your therapist”. Like cool, I wish I would’ve known you didn’t actually intend to just listen and let me rant BEFORE I came to you to rant.

And you know what, maybe it is just my fault for ranting to them in the first place. Yet when I talked to my therapist about wanting friends who will listen and be there for me while not trying to fix my problems for me, I was told BY MY THERAPIST that I needed to find friends who would do that. And how the flip am I supposed to do that without trusting my friends? I swear that I’m going to lose my mind if even one more person that tells me I can talk to them when I need to about whatever I’m going through only to turn around and act like I’m overstepping a boundary. People can really frigging suck without being a horrible person.

Like I’ve had a lot of good friends who are usually good people that I trusted only to then essentially lose them because I talk to them about whatever I’m going through, good or bad. So I’m questioning why the flip I even try to trust people anymore. Maybe it’s because I like trusting people to be good people, or maybe it’s because I can’t seem to not take people’s words at face value. Either way, it’s just another way my autism is alienating me from those close to me. And I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault somehow because I just trust people’s word and take them at face value. I wish I wasn’t like this and that I could just be normal and not struggle with this stupid part of living. I swear eventually the only people I will ever interact with is random people on the internet. Anyway, rant over. Thanks for coming, I’ll see y’all whenever. Hope y’all are doing better than I am

One day I will be ...

- A Princess !! Five years old.

- A scientists !! Seven years old.

- A whiter !! Ten years old. -

- Free ... Eleven years old.

- Me ... Was on my minds all the times

If you are a Black Butler fan, prepare yourselves for what's to come! I am drawing a BB inspired single page comic; my own characters; it's going to be rather interesting if I do say so myself!

food inspired drawing! food inspired drawing! mashed potato cat! mashed potat cat! why am I like this?

random word prompt, why am I like this? words were sexy and favorite food and I chose french fries lol

lol mood

New character concept, a half demon(tiefling for you D&D folks) named Bedlam, I chose four arms instead of horns and cloven feet instead of a tail, he's a thief/rogue . Lately after I draw a character I've been enjoying drawing them in what I call my "children's book style" but it's basically chibi lol