Why Am I Like This - Blog Posts

Rant about aesthetics ig

ok pls tell me i'm not the only one who love aesthetics that are either a: pretty much any aesthetic that's like:

like how do i explain this? it's like a bad message + ★·.·´¯`·.·★ 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔 ★·.·´¯`·.·★ like:

idk how to explain this just. look at this. it's weirdly pleasing to look at, b: Gissy, pommi or the old green bathroom in ur dreams, okay so if you don't know what i mean by "gissy" or "pommi", gissy=GIS=girl interrupted syndrome so any aesthetic like

pommi is any aesthetic w/ pomegranates and using cannibalism as a metaphor for love, like if ur one pinterest like me you've prolly seen quotes like "i would've bled out if you told me you liked the colour red" or "i would've grown flowers in my lungs if you told me you like daisies" y'know like this:

i know, it's weird, but it's cool

anyways the last one kinda explains itself, like y'know that weird fever dream-ish aesthetic where it's kinda like:

y'know those dreams you have that are kinda like lucid dreams where you're aware this is a dream but can't wake up (or don't want to) they kinda look like those images above and it has it's normal dream elements like things being in places they don't belong or one second ur in ur bedroom the next ur at a beach, things of that nature

those dreams that feel so incredibility real but when you wake up you can hardly remember anything, normally just key moments or one moments and it's details, a example of this could be like a dream i recently had where i don't remember much but in order this is what i could scoundrel together

1: this weird moment where i'm in my school hallway and i'm running from something and the whole thing looks exactly like my school except this dead-end where there's this mid-size gap in the roof that's goes up into complete darkness and i (somehow because that goddamn hallway is like 10ft wide) get up into the gap and climb for like a minutes before i just fall up like (spoilers if ur just getting into stranger things) the upsidedown in stranger things where one characters finds this black hole in the ground (not a literal blackhole like a hole with black gunk around it) and the character goes in and falls into this other version of where they found this hole, anyways kinda like that but i fall into *smug laugh* my house

2: idk when tf this happened in the dream but i'm stuck in this gas station bathroom, like greenish lighting, slurs are written on the walls, the toilet itself looks like if you touched it you'd contract 7 different new viruses, y'know, a gas station bathroom, and i KNOW this shit was a dream because my dumbass was just calmly sitting there like i'm not trapped in one of the nastiest places in the northern hemisphere, also rap was just blasting one the radio, it sound like some teenagers came in the gas station w/ one of those hand-held speakers turned to full volume on 103.7 kiss FM (some1 plsss help me because i can't get the ♪one 'o three point seven *insert music here* kiss FM♪ beat outta my head it's burned into my mind helpppppp)

3: i was in a classroom (my 7th grade one even tho im in 8th) and my teacher turned on the news to the political debate and what showed up was a video of joe bidan questioning the country and it's root, how "great" america is and said ᵖᵃᵖᵉʳ before a shit ton of post-it-notes started crashing through own windows, like a tornado of pink, yellow and green post-it-notes (individually not the pack).

anyways, dreams where you can only remember a few details and thats it

and finally c: hear me out, 2014 tumblr, now im like 95% sure that the moment ya'll read "hear me out" you thought i was gonna say something dirty, well ur not entirely wrong about thinking that >:), like any aesthetic that came about or rose in popularity during 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓽 y'know the "it's 2014, ur 6 y/o again and a happy tree friends video caught your eye the age of the internet full of cat videos and shitty adult parodies of beloved kids shows/movies, when you were like 8 and found a creepypasta iceberg video and had a shot full of dopamine shoot through you prepubescence body, ur 7 y/o again with way too much freedom on the internet and you find a lil niche site call bestgore.com", ok but on a real note i know the shit i saw in the era probably warrants therapy but i 'd take runthegauntlet.org & racist mario (if ykyk) anyday over skibidi toilet or fvcking max design pro, anyways aesthetics like emo, scene/scenecore, furries, etc, i find cool, now this may just be the desperate little 6 y/o in me clinging onto anything that looks remotely similar to what i grew up on talking, but things like bronies and ___ meets ___ series never fail to give me a weird sense of fucked up nostalgia, ok yea that's definitely the traumatized 6 y/o in me talking for sure but still they look cool, also i am LIVING for the resurgence in early 2000s/2010s style of animation it is BEAUTIFUL even if it looks kinda shitty

anyways thanks for reading my rant

Making life-changing decisions in your 20s should be illegal.

This is how Rouxls would sound if he did this.

OH MINE GOD,😳😳 I ACCIDENTALLY 🙈🙈 HATH SENT😳 THOU A PICTURE OF MINE COCK AND BALLS🍆🍆...PRITHEE DELETE IT!❌❌🛑! 'LEST...THOU DESIRE TO LOOK?😏😏 HAHA I JEST..🤣🤣, DELETE IT.🛑❌..SHOULD THEE CRAVE..?😳🙈... HAHA NAY,❌ BANISH IT.🛑🛑..'LEST?🙈😳

Me: I go online to be happy!

Me after ten minutes: I lied I just want to read something that will make me cry for five hours straight

Me, a guy who usally talks to himself because he's always alone

Stomach: rumbles

Me: CAN YOU STOP SHITTING YOURSELF??

The 20 people on the bus:

👁 👄 👁

Guys.... Has it.... Has it ever rained in a One Piece episode??

Like..... Bruh

How do I not remember a single raining scene.

And I mean real rain btw

he steals cats from other universes this is a fact bc I say so

Look what I made

Sirius: I LOVE you Jamie! LOVE YOU!!!

James: ...

James: Moony, what's happening?

Remus: (Sighs) He got his wisdom teeth removed

Sirius: MOONY, YOU'RE ALSO HERE?!? I loooveeee you the most!

Remus: (grins)

James: We should keep him like this

Anybody else make the expressions of their characters when they're writing? If somebody grimaces, I'm grimacing with them.

theres something just so embarrassing about writing a comment in a fic, like ik this is the bare minimum that we can do for the authors, but I still can't help but think they are gonna hate and find extremely cringe whatever i write 😭

A question to all of my people with panic attacks:

What do you do when you're really really deep into a panic attack and your comfort person just isn't available to talk?

Had this thingy happening today and I was completely at a loss on how to cope.

Thank you!

POV: You have an interview with a news channel called ATV but you're so obsessed with the Loki series you accidentally tell your mum you have an interview with the TVA.

drops this at your doorstep like Harry Potter

Your problem now.

You ever just find a fanfic that you really like at like 3 am, you don’t like it because you already liked it in the past and you also forget to reblog, then the next day you’re like “huh that was a really good fanfic I wanna read it again” and now suddenly it’s impossible to find it.

Tumblr needs to get a feature when I can see blogs or posts I’ve visited.

Random memes I found on Pinterest 😁

You ever stub your toe on something and you get really mad so you kick that something, and it really doesn’t do anything except make your toe hurt more yet the act of kicking it brings a certain sense of satisfaction so you kick is as hard as humanly possible and the harder you kick it the better the feeling? 

The autistic feel of never asserting boundaries, not because you don’t understand that you deserve to have your boundaries respected, but because the social script of asserting boundaries while making sure that the other person doesn’t feel attacked is one that you never got the knack of delivering, so your only two options are “doormat” or “bitchy and difficult”

In latest news the guy known as yours truly randomly blurted out "I imagined life with you" with no context to his friend causing a lot of embarrassment and confusion, especially from the friend's fiancé.

Yours truly shall now do his best not to bury his head in the sand for foreseeable future.

ADHD is finding yourself washing the dishes, your upper body cold, when you just got up to pick up a sweater, but then remembered that you forgot to apply deodorant, so you do that first ... and somehow you smell nice, wash dishes and you're still cold, and then you remember why

I should do that, but I either:

- fizzle out in doubt 3 seconds into asking if you want popcorn and weird myself out as well

- focus my entire being on my motives of asking if you want popcorn to make sure it's not a weird impulse

- stay happy and say wrong thing ("I hate popcorn with you"), continue watching the movie oblivious, and after few weeks of this you'll think I'm passive aggressively eating that popcorn, because I'm still insisting on popcorn each movie night, and said a dozen other (untrue) things

because that's what ADHD taught me. I need to communicate, with care.

if you ever want to talk to someone. talk to them!!! if you ever want to be friends with someone. talk to them!!!! if you ever face any issues and need help. ask for help!!!! if you are uncomfortable in a situation. express yourself!!! if you like someone. tell them!!! life is not going to take you anywhere if you do not act. cliche and all but life is actually too short to think too much about your normal actions. sometimes, you just need to communicate.

#this human will accept any harmful interference

#this human will not generate any harmful interference

to not accidentally appear creepy and overzealous, I will now spend three months pretending I don't love you and don't think about you all the time. Until you're convinced I'm not cool but heartless and loses any interest you had. Also I don't think you could ever be interested in me, so I just accept it and start writing anonymously on Tumblr instead. All because I have poor sense of time and timing thanks to ADHD and for me it was happiness, like no time at all has passed.

Me (eating alone in a cafe): *open phone to look at myself every five minutes to make sure I’m pretty*

My brain: The fuck are you doing

Me: Well I gotta look pretty

My brain: Why tho? You’re alone and no one’s looking at you

Me: Yeah but what if my soulmate comes in??

My brain: YOU DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN SOULMATES

Me: Okay- true- but what if a cute person comes in?

My brain:

Me: There you go

My brain: WHY WOULD SOMEONE EVEN LOOK AT YOU

Me: IDK LET ME DREAM

Me: *randomly starts singing at like 2 am*

Me (a few hours later): Why the heck am I so fucking tired

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬) 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧.

o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o

Jinx - @vile-villainess @jynxthatsme

(The girl I can't ask out without her trying to blow herself up.)

Vi (Violet) - @bruisedandbeloved @violetkiramman12345

(The older sister that I can now actually talk back to.)

Caitlym - @piltovers-sweetest-cupcake @tismrizzzandrifles

(Ex-dictator that i'm 90% sure has some form of autism)

Mel - @themedarda

(A walking thirst trap.)

Viktor - @askviktor

(Iron man V.2)

Sevika - @onlyvika

(The only older woman I will actually throw hands with.)

Isha - @jinxbutsmol @jinxsbabyy

(A somewhat tolerable ankle biter.)

Ran - @ranofzaun

(Seraphine's not so secret crush.)

Ronnie - @firelightsronnie

(Crackhead of the organization.)

o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o

(Non-Cannon. Characters)

Ein - @einthezaunite

(Insits that he is dog-man with a hammer.)

Seraphine - @minisevika

(Sevika's little brat.)

Winter - @black-pearl-the-femme-fatale

(The one sister that reminds Benzo of her mother.)

Noelle - @dreamynoelle

(Sevika's scary wife.)

o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o༙྇o

I have another account which I post random opinions or art - @sl3epingw1thsh0rks

An Ekko rp blog, I have old ooc stuff (out of character) and I might post other ooc stuff on this page. Feel free to ask questions or dm me random stuff.

Have a fan-fucking-tastic day!

Officially dead

-⧖

I wanna get Cult of The Lamb but I'm indecisive so idk :((

Me: Ok et's see what's on tumblr today!! Me:*follows like fuckin 20 incorrect quotes blogs* Me TIME TO HAVE A FUN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!