Programmer Humor - Blog Posts

Psh prolog more like amatuerlog

and an unholy amount of linear algebra

The MySQL dolphin is adorable

Thanks Visual Studio + Chromium browser for making a nice warm section on the UNDERSIDE of my desk below my laptop.

Before and after adding css animations

before and after tie dye

I feel like the creators of Scheme were really big fans of yoda’s verbal syntax.

Guess who jumped into his first React project without any planning and now continues to add features thereby creating a monstrosity of spaghetti code. THIS guy!

For those of you who are worried about AI taking over the world, this is the sentence produced by a “neural network” (a fancy name for my relative frequency matrix) after I had it read Beowulf, Galen, Guinea, Little Women, Mansfield Park, Peter Pan, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, A Tale of Two Cities, and The Call of the Wild. (All are freely available on Project Gutenberg in many filetypes including plain text, btw).

Making a favicon for your website is one of the simple pleasures. 

I can’t even style a SCROLLBAR without it looking like a potato.

You’d think after all the time I’ve spent on front-end dev I’d be able to at least write efficient CSS. You’d think. 

I continue to be surprised today. Haskell is also cool, at least based on what I’m reading. I haven’t written any yet, though, so we’ll see. 

Maybe I’m just in an open mood. Should I break out the old assembly docs and test that theory? 

.... Nah, I definitely shouldn’t do that.

There are only 2 options when I’m writing my commit messages:

1. “I haven’t pushed in a while so here are a LOT of changes to at least 7 files.”

2. “I hate myself because I worked for 2 hours tonight and as I write this message I realize that all I have to show for that time is a 3 line for loop.”

CSS, the most toxic lover

Oh CSS,

I have not a single guess

how one can hope to ever

with you win success.

Sweet CSS, 

you leave my sanity a mess

and my div tags all in shambles

while I trudge on with hopelessness.

Bitter CSS,

though you display indifference

as you treat me miserably

to you I will always return, nonetheless.

Then 2 weeks after this, looking at the chaos that is your disorganized, jumbled mess of code angry and disappointed in yourself.

Rinse and repeat.

Am i the only one who does this

ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER

What language am I using?