Xiao Angst - Blog Posts

Deserved fr. I have never seen a man have the balls to fix a relationship before. I'm saying this from experience.

Before It's Too Late

Warnings: Angst(no comfort)

:Scaramouche;Kazuha;Xiao;Diluc x GN Reader

You love how constant things are.

Everyday, the same thing will happen. A kiss for your lover in the morning then work until the last rays of sun can be seen and return to his arms at night.

You hate change.

Hate how his eyes don't hold the same love for you. He stops talking to you and asking how your day was. Body turning away from you whenever you try to hug him, an excuse always slipping from him.

You stayed for love.

Fixing things as if it'll turn back the same but cracks have already appeared and you couldn't do anything but watch.

Everything happens so suddenly, like you're floating but drowning at the same time.

His words gripping your heart so much that even breathing hurts.

But a fool you are, hugging him and trying to make him stay with you. Words of affection already spilling from you, shame and dignity already thrown out of the picture. Everything for him to love you again.

Hope was in your eyes when he turned around until a stinging silence greeted you.

For a brief moment, you believed that you could still save your love for him.

No tears escape from you as you cradle your burning cheek from being slapped. As the realization of everything dawned on you, your pitiful form kneeled against the floor. You felt everything all at once, while he stands there stunned.

Shaking hands tried to reach for you but you backed away from him like a cornered animal.

"I'm so sorry,... I didn't - I'm so sorry (Y/N). Please let me hold you. I'm so sorry love I didn't mean to, please"

"You slapped me?" you asked, still in denial that the man you spend all your years with can hurt you so much like this.

"I'm so sorry (Y/N), I don't know what got into me-"

"You're right" you look at him and for the first time you feel calm, like the final piece fitting into the puzzle.

"This relationship's not gonna work. I can't force myself to you if you don't love me anymore"

"That's not true, I still love you (Y/n). Can we just talk about this?"

Picking yourself up you removed the ring he had given you and handed it to him. Already done being the one who keeps this relationship alive. You're tired in fighting for his affection everyday as if his love was limited to only acknowledging your presence alone.

"Stop this (Y/n), put this back right now, what are you doing?!"

Everything was clear now, as if you'd been suddenly brought to light.

Love is not enough to save the both of you and this was the last straw to give everything up. So you let it all fall.

"Don't please, no you can't do this! (Y/n)!"

"I love you! Please! Just... just stop. Let's talk ok? (Y/n)?"

You didn't turn back, even if he tried to call for you, just as how you imagined he did in your dreams once upon a time when you're still naive, stupid, and hopeful.

Packing your belongings as quickly as you can, not wasting anymore time as he begs for you stay like how you beg for him earlier.

Regret fills him as he watches the only thing that matters to him walk out of his life, unable to stop you because he has already hurt you so much that the least he can do is to let you go.

He stood helplessly by the door, wishing you'd return and love him again, but you didn't even once look back.

⠀𐔌 . ⋮ the chase .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

ʚ motorcyclist! xiao x fem, ballerina! reader ɞ

synopsis: a chance encounter amidst traffic fleeting like the wind, a ribbon tying you two together yet why were you both foolish enough to not ask for names?

genres: romance (implied mutual attraction), modern au + smau.

word count: 680.

author's note: this was gonna be a kuni fic but thinking about it, i think he'd just smack your hand playfully LMAO- but this fic was created by my brainrot induced by this video ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹.

‎‧₊ ─ masterlist .ᐟ ༘

As the car comes to a stop within a sea of traffic, you sigh tiredly as your eyes drift to your bag.

Frustration blooms within you as you inwardly wince, remembering that your current pointe shoes are basically dead and that you’d have to break in new pointe shoes when you get home.

But with the reminder of you not fully grasping your piece during rehearsals, the frustration welling inside you explodes in a quiet storm in your mind.

Tugging the silk ribbon from your hair, your locks descend down your shoulders in waves, before you’re lowering the window.

Putting your hand through the window, the silk ribbon flutters softly in the night breeze and you pause as you question whether you should let it go, the ribbon—and ballet.

But just as you were about to let the ribbon flutter away, a warm and unfamiliar hand encompasses yours gently.

Your eyes shoot up to meet deep amber ones, red eyeliner lining his sharp eyes as locks of black and turquoise peek from his helmet, his face hidden by the mask beneath his motorcycle helmet.

The man gently closes your hand into a fist, securing the ribbon in your grasp as he gently nudges your hand back into the car. 

“You should put your hands back in the car,” He hums and you find yourself entranced by the lull of his voice, deep and soothing—alluring. 

The man turns his head to face the road yet he keeps eye contact by looking at your through the corner of his eyes, “It’s dangerous.”

He’s gone as fast as he had unexpectedly arrived as traffic begins to move and only then are you able to realize what had just happened.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks as your bottom lip slightly falls, your stomach twisting and turning and you swear there’s a whole swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

Swallowing thickly, your fingers absentmindedly played with the ribbon, tying it into a cute bow.

And as traffic begins to lessen and the driver accelerates, the loud roar of a motorcycle catches your attention.

Instinctively grabbing your phone, you snap a blurry picture of the cute motorcyclist hoping to find him once more.

Boldly, you roll down the window once more as the car speeds up, unwittingly chasing the motorcyclist who unknowingly caught your eyes as your hand tightens around the ribbon in your grasp.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Xiao quickly revs his bike, weaving through traffic before a flailing hand enters the corner of his vision.

Curiosity blooms within him and he takes the bait as he slows his bike to match the car’s speed.

Being mindful to stay aware of his surroundings, his eyes meet yours once more and a small smile tugs at his lips as he recognizes you as the one from before.

Pretty. He thinks as he finally takes you in, too engrossed in informing you to keep your hands in the car to have noticed your beauty prior.

But you gently wave your hand in the wind, a smile stretching across your face as Xiao brings up his hand to grab whatever you’re holding.

He sees a faint flash of pink as your fingers brush against his and he swears he feels a buzz of electricity dance atop his skin.

The car speeds up and you maintain eye contact with him, a coy yet sweet smile on your face as you wave him goodbye.

Xiao is struck by a sudden fluttering in his stomach that distracts him enough for the car to enter the maze of cars along the freeway.

Realizing that he's lost your car, he sighs as he understands it'd be troublesome revving his bike through traffic to chase you.

Instead, he allows his eyes to drift down to what you had given him.

A baby pink silken ribbon tied into a cute bow.

A smile graces his face as he huffs amusedly behind his mask. His hand tightens around the bow as he quickly shoves it into the pocket of his jacket, noting to tie it to his bike’s keys.

© 2024 𝐌𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆-𝐈𝐕. do not copy, repost, share, or translate any of my works to tiktok, instagram, and/or any other websites/platforms.

Hi, Raze! How are you? Are you doing well and taking care of yourself? 🥺

I have a request for you since I saw you had it open, but take your time with it, no need to rush 🫂

Can I get one 🍮 with some 💧 for Xiao and a reader who is just feeling insecure about themselves in general (it's one of those days)? You can choose the flavour for whatever is comfortable with you 🤗

Thank you, and just know that you're doing amazing and I'm proud of you for always doing your best <3

Mistakes

Genre: angst, comfort┆pairing: Xiao x reader┆warnings: reader degrading herself, readers mother keeps degrading reader towards everything they do. Crying (if there's more please let me know🙏💕)┆

notes: I had an idea for this a long time ago but I didn't know how to do it properly😭 so here I am, a few months late doing this😖😖. I got carried away and I didn't read your ask properly😭😭 it's supposed to be readers own thought not someone else making reader insecure, so sorry lost I got your request wrong, just ask me again if you want me to redo it, did the first part at like midnight and I was already halfway when I looked back on it 💔💔

Summary:being at one of your family gatherings alone was always sormthing you never looked forward to, even if you did miss your siblings, being the center of attention at the dinning table once all of your relatives took their seat, had tears in your eyes, always saying something about your body, how no man wanted you, how you would never satisfy your boyfriend with how ugly your body looked.

'You look horrendous in those types of clothes ___, did you really think your 'boyfriend' would feel satisfied by your body, I mean you can't even dress properly and act submissive now and you expect him to love you?'.

Those words said by your own mother ringing in your ears on your way home, had tears brimming in your eyes.

They had asked you if you had a boyfriend, you nodded slowly expecting them to berate you, surprisingly they had bakced off and wished you well with xiao. Sitting at the dinner table had more tension then ever before,

"well.. ____, since you have a boyfriend now, when will you introduce him to us" your grandmother started the conversation,

"um, well, maybe in the near future but not now, since hes very busy and his work is very demanding.. " you had kept your gaze on your plate before hearing a bang on the table and the food om your plate lightly lifting off the table

"____! Where are your manners?! Your grandmother is talking to you! Can't you look her in the eyes and show some respect! " your mother screamed at you as your other relatives just kept quiet or looked at you with concern since this was the first time they saw your mother act this way towards you.

Seing that you were visibly shaken, your grandmother interrupts your mother from speaking any further and put her hand over yours.

"____ dear, I think it's time for you to go home and rest, you look like you have been tired, if you want you can call your boyfriend and pick you up? " your grandmother had spoken to you with her gentle voice that comforted you everytime your mother had .

You nodded to your grandmother, before your mother had uttured out a single word, you grabbed your bag and walked out of the house.

Before you went out the door, you heard muffled shouts in the dinner room, you had made out what they were talking about.

"Why did you say that to your child!? Are you out of your mind!" That was the last thing you heard before you walked away from the house you called home.

.

.

Now you're back in your shared home, laying on your bed trying to hold back your tears. You spot your mirror in the corner of your room, walking towards the reflective surface with you in the middle of it. Lifting up your shirt, you look at your stomach, you hated the way it made you look bloated in tight shirts.

You stare at yourself with disgust and frustration, coming closer to the mirror, inspecting every inch of your face seeing the flaws your mother pointed out throughout your entire life.

Your vision becomes blurry from the tears pooling your eyes, wiping your tears away but they kept coming back. You lost your balance and fell down on the floor, sitting on the floor for a few minutes trying to calm your self down. You took deep breaths as you fiddled with your fingers, you looked around the room spotting the clock, the time almost midnight so you wiped your tears for the last time and stood up with shaky breathing and walked to your bedside table, picking up the glass of water and drinking it before you layed down ok your bed, covering your self with the blanket.

You closed your eyes trying to fall asleep yet failing, your mind wanders back to the reunion, thinking about what your mother said and how none of your other relatives defended you from her, only your grandmother had defended you from the person who swore to love you until the end of her life when she gave birth to you.

Hiccups and sobs could be heared throughout your shared bedroom as xiao opened your front door, he was expecting you to come up to him and greet him like always. Xiao walked further into the living to see if you had fallen asleep, seeing as you weren't in the living room, he walked towards your bedroom to hear mumbled sobs.

Xiao had gently opened the door to avoid waking you up if you had fallen asleep, instead he was greeted with the sight of you hugging a pillow while shaking, he had froze in front of the door, not knowing what to do, he walked towards you and sat down by the edge of the bed.

Feeling the bed sink by your feet, you looked towards the edge of the bed to see Xiao sitting down not facing you and looking at the floor.

"Oh.. Xiao your back, how are you? And why are you sitting at the edge of the bed?" You had reached out for him, grabbing his forearm and pulling it towards you softly, making Xiao lean towards you, flinching at his hand reaching to your face, specifically your eyes, had xiao becoming concerned, as they were surrounded by a red hue looking as if you had finished crying.

"____, did...Something happen at your family reunion? " Xiao held your hand, his gaze towards you had soften and trying to tone down his voice..

" no, nothing went –*hic* went wrong at the reunion" you towards your bedside table with a red and puffy eyes. '' you're lying because your eyes say a different story....if you don't mind, do you want to talk about it with me? I know I might not know what to do, but maybe...you'll feel better if you talk about it to me?" Xiao placed his hand on top of yours, trying to comfort you the best he can.

You didn't respond for a good few seconds, contemplating if you should or shouldn't say to him what your mother had said to you at the reunion,eventually, you agreed to talk to xiao about what happened at the reunion.

A few tears were shed by you as you recalled what had happened at the reunion, as much as xiao wasn't much on the comforting side, he was great at the listening side even if he couldn't comfort the best way, but his way of comforting was your best way of comforting and you wouldn't want to replace it with others.

Towards the end of your story, xiao looked a little angry or frustrated, maybe both. "What's wrong Xiao? " your voice was above a whisper, an eerie silence filled the room as Xiao still haven't replied to you, instead he held your hand and rubbed the back of your palm.

"... If you have anymore of those events you call 'family reunion', make sure to call me. I will accompany you so your mother won't be able to say such words to you. " Xiao raised your hand close to his lips, kissing the Beck of your palm, you just stared at him while your mind was formulating a response to his words he directed towards you.

Sobs left your lips as you hung your head low, your tears falling onto the blanket covering your lap. You didn't know what to say, so you nodded your head signaling that you agreed to let him come with you to any family related events.

After you calmed down, you though about what Xiao said earlier when you were crying, specifically the last part. 'I will accompany you so your mother won't be able to say such words to you' you know that Xiao dislikes crowds and events with lots of people he doesn't quite know. "... Are you sure you want to come to every family event? I know how much you hate crowds and such, I don't want you to come and feel uncomfortable" you close your eyes for a few seconds, feeling them become sore because of your tears.

"I do not mind being uncomfortable but I also don't want you to hear words that make you think thoughts that make you dislike parts of your body" Xiao placed his hand on your cheek—showing the side that only you can see once in a while—he gently caresses your eye, wiping the tears left over from you crying.

He gently pulls you closer, patting your hair as if he was lulling you to sleep and since you just finished crying and all the events that happened, you fell asleep almost immediately.

Once xiao felt that you were asleep, he layed you down on the bed and covered you with the blanket. Xiao just sat next to you, looking at you while you sleep, he abruptly stood up thinking that he was creepy for staring at you when you were sleeping, he walked inside the bathroom and washed up since his body was splattered with dry blood.

After he washed up, he sat on the opposite side of you on the bed. Xiao layed down next to you and admired you when you suddenly opened your eyes to look at Xiao in front of you. "I thought you had fallen asleep?" Xiao was taken aback and giggles left your lips when you saw xiao's reaction. "How should I fall asleep when someone so handsome keeps looking at me while I sleep? " you tease Xiao while you come closer, putting your hand on his red hued cheeks, meanwhile, xiao just closes his eyes tightly and grumbles that you should just fall asleep. "Alright, alright. I'll sleep now, just promise me, when I'll wake up you'll be next to me. " you take your hand away from his cheeks and lay on your back, facing that ceiling closing your eyes, trying to fall asleep. "I promise, even when you're awake, I'll be here next to you" xiao takes your hand in his and places a tender kiss.

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do you think i can fly?

xiao x gn!reader

genre angst warnings implied s//cide

a childish question, if only he had noticed sooner..

your hands traced the shapes of the clouds, fingertips nearly grazing the sky above the two of you. a cold breeze blew, beads of rainwater framing your face as the grass beneath whistled. “xiao.. do you think i can fly?” he looked at you confusedly, not understanding your question. you shook his arm eagerly, “..like how gliders work, what if one day, we won’t need them anymore — because we find out we can fly without them!” he sighed at your childishness, tucking strands of hair behind your ear. “refrain from asking me such silly questions.” you giggled at his stiff reply,

“but.. what if i really want to?”

—

another night, another week spent alone. you could hear the sound of a pin drop in the room the two of you shared together. xiao was busy, you knew. on nights like these, he would stay for a split moment and leave, silently disappearing into the darkness. “xiao..” at the call of his name, he would appear in front of you before hurriedly asking you what you needed. you looked at him weakly, “do you think.. i can fly?” he scoffed, dropping his weapon. he harshly raised his voice, “don’t call my name for your childish pleasure.” and with that, he teleported away, again.

a tired voice lulled the melancholic atmosphere in the dark room, “xiao,” he could hear your call loud and clear, but refused to show up this time. “..i’m really tired of this.”

—

he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, understand your obsession with being up in the air, in the clouds. he firmly told you that you belonged on the ground, on your two feet, with him. but perhaps.. you didn’t belong with him. that’s why you left, isn’t it? he thought to himself, the soft pitter patter of rainfall beneath his feet.

the dirt soiled his boots, his hair damped and clothes drenched from the rain, but he couldn’t care less.

as his hands traced the clouds that loomed over teyvat, his fingers nearly grazing the thunderstorm above the desolate graveyard. a chilly wind blew, droplets of water staining his porcelain skin along with his tears. “yes.. you can.”

if only he had noticed sooner.

as the world comes crashing down.

genshin boys x gn!reader [ ALBEDO DILUC VENTI XIAO KAZUHA ]

genre angst.

story the world is ending, doomsday is here.

ALBEDO has never been the talkative type. social interactions and idle chitchat have never held a candle to his heart’s desire — the dream to accquire limitless knowledge left behind by scholars of the past. so when the last star in the sky finally explodes, he hugs you close in an embrace. he has remorse and regret for never being able to confess his heart to you, as his heart was not that of a human, but a mere experiment. in his mind, you should deserve to be with someone real — someone capable of loving, feeling and touching. it is all he wishes for. but in the last moments of oxygen, he allows himself to be selfish. as the world comes crashing down, albedo finally feels the humans’ selfish desire — love.

DILUC is but a mystery to the people of monstadt. most are not aware of why he had retreated into his own world, becoming more secretive and reserved. under that cold facade is a soul that has sworn to protect his city and people, mercilessly vanquishing all who dare threaten the peaceful paradies that is monstadt. to others, diluc is the epitome of perfection — successful, wealthy and strong. diluc has reached all the traditional markers of being successful. but to him, he has not yet even so glanced at the true success of life. diluc looks at you in bittersweet nonchalance. his heart falters in guilt as he realises, he has found success in you. ‘success’ is a debatable topic, most view it as getting wealthy or having fame. but to the few that have experienced the cruel realities — success is happiness. diluc finds his happiness in you. so as the world comes crashing down, a feeling of accomplishment laces his heart as he caresses your face for one last time.

VENTI is one to live blissful ignorance. under a carefree, playful persona, he is absent. he is absent to the city he was supposed to protect and look after, he is absent to his title as an archon, and he is absent to himself — the form he takes of a youthful young man is not his to wear, the title of an ‘archon’ is not his to bear, and his sadness is not his to tear. instead, it should’ve been his late friend to wear the appearance of a young bard, to dawn the title of the ‘saviour who ended a reign of evil’ and the happiness to cheer. venti has nothing, he is nothing. all he has left are the memories of him and his dearest companion. but, as the tides flow in and the winds change current, those too are close to being lost in his inner battle with himself. venti has seen it all, the destruction of khaen’riah, the corruption of old monstadt and the defeat of dvalin — but as he strums his lyre to you, witnessing the end of another world, he sees worth in himself. centuries had passed with him being blinded by a coat of grief, but in this moment, next to you, he sees that he has something. something to cherish, love and keep. and that ‘something’, was you. as the world comes crashing down, venti is glad that someone cherishes him, loves him and wants to keep him, too.

XIAO lets it all out — all the words and worries he has been bottling up for the past millennium all out. xiao is a silent watcher, he is reserved and barely speaks when unneeded. there is a reason of this, he is afraid. xiao is afraid that he might say something wrong or hurtful, as many have expressed to him before. nothing good ever came out of his mouth, or so he thought. for eons, he has been alone. he was always alone when trekking the roads and mountains of liyue, alone when watching the sun set as a new dawn emerges, and alone when he is fighting back the evil karma. with that, none have been there with him — for him. but he finds his solace in you. xiao is not yet ready to really speak his mind and tell you how much he adores you, as his mind tells him that you’ll leave one day, forgetting all the love he had allowed himself to give. but, with your guidance, he is slowly getting used to talking about his day, talking about his feelings and his concerns. it is in your embrace that he tries to become a better person — for you. as the walls cave in and the screams of help silence, it is in your touch he finds it safe enough to let it all out. as the world comes crashing down, he whispers bittersweetly, “i love you.”

KAZUHA looks at you in awe. he takes these last few moments to appreciate you — his light, life and love. with his explorative hands and curious gaze, he has wandered throughout teyvat whilst holding the hand he so adored. as he played the silent call of the winds to you, as he charmed you with his words, as he sheltered you from the rain with his arms, as he journeyed through everything with you — he loves you. in his darkest times, when the relentless thrashing of waves would overtake and drown him, a hand would reach out to pull him into a soft daydream. although he has travelled only a corner of the universe, as the world comes crashing down, he looks at you and thinks that his life had taken the turn for the best.

mmffff next fic will be fluff 🙏🏻

(me when i lie ^)

║Xiao║Come Back

This is requested by me as a gift to you. From Wattpad.

Xiao's perspective.

Gender-neutral.

Angst.

Word count: 200+

---

Everyday.. From the moment you broke down my walls and I opened my heart to you.. I was scared of letting you go. Afraid that I won't ever get to see that smile I hold close to me and the warmth you embraced me with.

But..

Time has changed and you are no longer with me, my dear (Y/N).

Why did you have to show me your warm light and disappear soon after as if I was nothing to you at all? It's really ridiculous and I should be mad at you for this.. But, I love you.

I know that deep in your heart, you knew that I loved you so dearly that I'd sacrifice my eternal life for you. I wished I had said it before you left.

Why hadn't I said it? If I knew you were going to leave me, I should have said it.. Now, I will forever carry these silent words along with my guilt for the rest of my life.

I thought that you would at least grow old. I forgot how fragile mortals are when I saw you. I forgot because I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with you.

(Y/N), if you were still here with me and grew old, I would have loved you endlessly no matter how much your appearance had changed.

Honestly, I pictured us having a family at some point. But, I guess that will forever be a hopeless dream that will chase me like a nightmare as I stare at your stone along with your haunting smile engraved in my memory.

".. Hey, idiot.. Please, come back soon."

---

this hurt like a bitch wtf

aftermath of a break up

cutting ties with you was easy. getting over you wasn't.

includes: childe, zhongli & xiao !

CHILDE had been the one to say those words, fueled by his momentary anger in the heat of the moment — “we should go our separate ways.”

and hours later even as his rationality returned, impulsive tendencies out of the way, he couldn't bring himself to regret it; why would he? on the contrary, he'd never been better! dating wasn't a necessary part of life, and even if it'd been nice with you by his side, he could live on his own without you all the same. he did it before, and he'd do it again.

CHILDE had his priorities straight. chasing after a lover who didn't want him anymore — oh, excuse me, he meant a lover he didn't want anymore — certainly wasn't at the top of the list. he had a family to care for, enemies to battle, and a duty to the tsaritsa; you didn't fit anywhere in the equation. your separation even granted him more freedom! no one to nag him to stop fighting, or to forbid him from purchasing useless expenditures, or to force him to rest when he was clearly busy with his job, or to meddle with any of his personal affairs from here on out.

but in the dead of the night as he drags his battered body to the comfort of his home, aching all over from bruises and cuts, something wells up in his throat. his hands are shaky as he opens the first aid kit, eyes examining the contents closely. he isn't very familiar with the items inside — you were always there to take care of him, he never needed to check it himself.

there's something wrong about returning home without the lights turned on, the panicked questions flung at him as he's ushered to sit, and the soft hands carefully treating his injuries. there's something wrong without someone to lean on, someone to wait for him to come back, someone who worries for his wellbeing when nobody else does. someone who puts him back together when he's fallen to pieces.

and as CHILDE drops the roll of bandages to the floor and cries in silence, he wonders what went wrong.

on the surface, ZHONGLI's behavior didn't differ much from his normal day to day attitude — he moved at his own pace, working diligently at the funeral parlor without breaking a sweat, and offered little information pertaining what transpired the day before. his colleagues were well aware of his recent... separation, you could say. after all, your heated argument wasn't a very private affair, since you'd broken into a fight at a relatively populated spot of town.

ZHONGLI acted stoic throughout, showing no signs of backing down in his side of things, and coming to a disagreement, you split up. unruffled as ever, he paid no mind to the worried glances sent his direction during work the next day; perhaps avoiding them consciously to a degree.

it worked, somewhat, and break time eventually came along, wherein ZHONGLI habitually prepared himself some tea and snacks. it didn't even occur to him he'd prepared two servings by pure muscle memory alone until he sat down and saw nobody sitting opposite of him — the spot where he expected you to be present, smiling at him like you always did.

something pricked at his chest, piercing through a weak point he thought he never had, but he numbs the pain, hastily inviting a coworker to share tea. she appears to be surprised, an emotion akin to pity glossing over her eyes, and ZHONGLI can't bring himself to force a smile.

the loneliness he feels doesn't subside.

when verr goldet first heard news of you dating the adeptus, she'd been relieved. XIAO had a bad habit of overexerting himself more often than not, arriving at wangshu inn half-dead after his usual patrols to fend off entities with malicious intent. though she'd been tasked with looking after him, it wasn't easy to tell him off. he'd be more likely to scoff at her concern than take her warnings to heart. “i can handle myself.”

with you by his side, a worrywart and stern to boot, her worries lessened considerably. XIAO actually listened to you intently, vowing to have some semblance of self-preservation rather than throw himself into violence carelessly. he began to smile more, too, his usual scowl withering to a passive expression. verr hadn't been given the opportunity to see his smile personally, but she heard his small chuckles whenever you came over and initiated pleasant conversations.

however, the peaceful days came to an abrupt end. XIAO came back one day, drenched from the rain; his blood mixed with the droplets running down his face, and verr wondered if he'd been crying, taking notice of his reddened eyes. her first instinct was to call you over, but he stopped her immediately, coldly glaring her down and cutting off anything she said sharply. “i don't need them anymore.”

but anyone could tell he still does. he stands at the top of wangshu inn, waiting patiently for someone who'll never come, and he knew it. he knew because he was the one who pushed you away in the first place. but he reasons with himself it was for the best, for your better future. he may live an eternal youth, but you can't — there was no point in staying this way forever, was there? (and yet he continues to wait anyway, waiting, waiting, and waiting. what a laughable fool.)

and as XIAO leaves for his patrol one afternoon, verr goldet sighs, pulling out a piece of mail she'd hidden away out of his sight.

she hopes he'll never see this wedding invitation soon.