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Hax - Blog Posts
On learning to love and name my disabilities
And using my once-thought-of flaws (over-thinking/over-spending/over-doing/over-compensating/over-everything-etc.) Just because I have severe depression/anxiety/waiting on a possible diagnosis of bipolar disorder/am possibly experiencing a hypomanic episode/new diagnoses, who dis?
Doesn't mean I'm incapable/sometimes capable of dealing with them on my own. I never thought I could, so I rarely tried. at least with maximum effort from my magnificent brain and body.
I never hated myself but the doubt was always so severe and present in every part of my life, it became a friend that would also make self-deprecating jokes with/at/to me... So I learned to be as comfortably numb as possible.
But it wasn't enough. I was planning on applying to M.A.I.D. when it opened up it's criterion for possible mental health disorders, instead of just terminal/agonizing ones.
I know this hypomania (no matter how scary/uncomfortable it is making some) is exactly what I need right now and I will fucking fight for it.
