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Don’t Hate Me - Blog Posts

8 months ago

As a single person who cares about being good in school: Fuck you /j

(I SEARCHED FOR THIS POST JUST TO SAY THIS)

i love cheating if you don’t cheat what the hell is wrong with you


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5 months ago

i know i haven’t posted in like a week but i pinky promise i have something cooking for y’all and i’ll give u hints in emojis ( surprise surprise they’re both stiles related )

#1 😡

#2 🎶


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9 years ago

He Ded

I have such a love/hate relationship with Bela Lugosi's Dead because it is such a great song but I've listened to it 27383918w73738e8w82 times, and it's hella long. It is the epitome of a goth song, and a true spooky classic and every time I hear the start of that bassline I get excited and then I either dance like the goth kids from South Park or I give a dejected sigh and bob my head


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6 months ago
Um... Hey Chat! I Haven't Written Chapter 4 Yet, So If The Chapter Comes Out Late, It Wasn't Me! It Was

um... hey chat! i haven't written chapter 4 yet, so if the chapter comes out late, it wasn't me! It was the demons. they got to me (it's actually my ela teacher) heh... be prepared for a later chapter! i cant even write tmw cause I have dance till 8 pm :3


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I don't know if anyone is also like this way, but I don't ship billford because a ship means you want them together, but I like reading billford fan works because of the way it explores abusive relationships


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2 months ago

please just let me help you. @pittmade

the  adrenaline  still  pulses  like  mortar  fire  in  her  ears,  the  sheets  had  tangled  tight  around  her  waist,  unravled  in  the  abruptness  when  she  lept  from  bed.  her  breath  comes  in  short,  calculated  bursts,  the  kind  meant  to  hide  the  panic,  not  soothe  it.  A  SURVIVAL  RHYTHMN,  a  trick  she  learned  in  tents  and  triage  units  under  foreign  skies.  eversteady  hands  tremble  and  fumble  with  the  script.  that  emergency  bottle  to  sit  beneath  her  tongue  and  chase  away  reflections  of  war.  she  hasn’t  cried,  she  doesn’t,  not  even  now,  but  her  body  feels  like  it  wants  to.  not  out  of  fear.  not  anymore.  but  exhaustion,  a  deep  marrow-tiredness  that  never  fades,  just  gets  buried  under  scrubs  and  charts  and  too  much  coffee.

please  just  let  me  help  you.

it’s  the  way  he  says  it,  like  a  quiet  promise  in  the  dark,  like  he’s  offering  her  a  place  to  land  instead  of  a  spotlight  to  stand  under.  guilt  tears  through  sinew  and  soul.  no  one  had  ever  seen  her  like  this;  the  burden  she'd  refused  to  unleash  upon  the  unknowing,  the  unwilling.  she  slept  so  well  beside  him,  no  issues  arising  until  the  inevitable  push  against  her  ribs  to  recall.  her  eyes  meet  his,  not  fully,  not  yet,  but  just  the  edge  of  him  in  the  ambient  light  of  her  bathroom.  honey  eyes  far  away,  attempting  to  find  her  HOME  again.  the  bottle  nearly  crushed  in  her  hand  as  she  followed  the  sound  of  his  voice.  she  caught  the  warmth  of  his  scent  and  reached  for  him.  something  in  the  most  broken  parts  of  her  being following  his  imprint  of  energy  like  a  ship  to  harbour  in  a  winter  storm.  ❛  jack.  ❜  a  voice  so  raw,  so  haunted,  crawling  back  to  life.  gloria  is  pressed  to  him,  instinct  of  spirit  sought  and  driving  action.  ❛  i'm  sorry,  i'm  sorry.  ❜  muffled  against  his  chest,  but  she  breathes,  finally.


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7 years ago
Happy #Monday! It's Going To Be A Long Wick. Ask John 😂

Happy #Monday! It's going to be a long wick. Ask John 😂

Watch now on http://SHOWFER.COM : https://goo.gl/REXJ2q


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3 years ago

Memories / Wolfstar

The pain from losing his best friend hurt, Remus barely coped, when he started remembering, it wasn’t a happy memory though, it was the mistake he made before.

(Also posted on my AO3 account, message if you want the link to it since I will probs post more there.)

It was late, and it was cold, yet he didn’t seem any closer to going inside, afraid of what he might have to face. Remus had barely a single conversation with Sirius before he was gone once more, unfairly taken again, only this time, he wouldn’t have the ability to come back.

“Remus, deary, you need to come inside, he won’t be happy if you join him now.” Molly said gently, coming outside with him. That's right, Sirius’ home had closed to him, he was at the burrow, the new meeting place of the order, the group of people who got Sirius Black killed, no it wasn’t their fault, it was Voldemort’s, and his fault alone, as well as Bellatrix.

“No thanks Molly, I need to head back to my home, I will see you tomorrow.” Remus replied, his voice shaking slightly, the pain more obvious.

With that he apparated away, but not to his home, but the shrieking shack, a place that held his worst memories, and yet he was drawn to it. Memories of his last day flooded his mind, a particular moment he had wished to forget.

June 25th ,1978, the shrieking shack,

“Remus, will you just listen to me! For once in your life just stop and listen to me.” Sirius Black was heard exclaiming, the boy in front of him just sitting on the beaten down bed. Remus just shook his head, not wanting to hear the words that needed to be said, not wanting to admit that it was finally over. The best thing in his life, now over, in a few years it will be nothing but a painful memory.

“No Sirius, you listen, you always have the final say and I am tired of it. You have to be in control all of the time, and I can’t deal with it.” He shot back, the other just stood there, shock being the only readable emotion on his face.

“I can’t keep doing this Remus, it hurts me too much to just watch you destroy yourself, I love you, I really really love you, but I can’t keep acting as if I can’t hear your cries at night.” Sirius decided, going up to the boy, whose head was now hung low. Gently, as if not to startle him, Sirius brought his hands up, cupping Remus’ face, the other’s eyes looking anywhere except his fellow marauder. “Remus, please look at me.”

“I can’t.” He replied, his voice barely there, the tears he had been holding back finally getting loose, only for Sirius to wipe them away.

“One day, when we are both finally ready, we will find each other, and live the fairytale ending you deserve. I love you.” Sirius whispered back, planting a kiss against the boy’s head, before leaving the werewolf alone.

June 13th, 1996, the shrieking shack,

“I was ready, and you were too, yet still, you left.” Remus found himself whispering, not towards anything in particular, seeing as the one who he desperately wanted to hear him, never would ever again. Remus couldn’t handle it, and felt himself falling, crumpling on the ground.

June 27th, 1978,

It hurt, more than Remus would ever let on. Over and over, he just thought about what Sirius had said to him, knowing in his heart that it was built on nothing but the truth. He still shared a room with the guy, hell, sometimes he found himself wishing that Sirius would slip into his bed late at night again, when he thought Remus was asleep, only for the boy to turn over and pull Sirius into his embrace, needing the contact just as much.

“Remus, you're in your mind again, what did you want to talk about?” the aforementioned boy asked, causing Remus to shake his head lightly.

“Yeah, right, sorry. Look, I can't keep acting like everything is okay. And I know it’s messed up that I just pushed you away, but I can’t see it ending well if you actually become a part of whatever life I will have after Hogwarts.” He explained.

“Why do you do this Remus? I ask to be part of your life and all you can do is push me away. What is so impossible about us being together that you have to end it before anything gets started?”

“Don’t you see, I’m a werewolf Sirius, the hate you would get and the unfairness of it all, I can’t force the person I love to go through that.”

“So sad, a few unimportant people get butt hurt. Why can’t we have a family huh? Because you’re a werewolf and I’m gay?”

“That's just it Sirius! Why do you think I’m trying to get rid of you? When I look at you all I see is everything I can’t have. It hurts too much.”

“What? Explain what you can’t have with me right now.”

“This, happiness, a family.” Remus exclaimed, his voice now raised slightly. Sirius only shook his head before leaving for one of the last times. “You, Sirius, I can’t have you.”

June 14th, 1996, in front of 12 Grimmauld Place,

Remus didn’t know why he came here, why his mind told him to. That was before a noise came from behind him, that noise belonging to Harry, James and Lily’s son, the two just stood in silence, as the final remnants of what the marauders once were.

“My mum wanted you and Sirius to raise me, so did dad.” The green-eyed boy said, causing Remus to look at him.

“Sirius would’ve been the most chaotic father alive to you.” Remus jokes, Harry nodding in agreement.

“He loved you, he told me, how no matter how long, one day you would be together again, in the way that it was meant to be.”

Remus could practically hear how his heart plummeted, unaware that Sirius ever told anyone about the life he and Remus shared for such a short amount of time.

“I love him too, with every bit of my heart.” He admitted, meeting Harry’s eyes, only to be greeted with the same eyes that Lily had, the first person he ever told, the one person he would confide in about his forbidden feelings towards Sirius. It broke him, but not in a way that would cause you to lock everything out, no, this was a different kind of break, one that was freeing in a sense, and Remus found himself smiling for the first time since Sirius Black had gone through that veil.

Unbeknownst to the pair, a black dog was watching them from afar, hearing everything that they said. “I love you too Moony.” He said, before turning, seeing the man that died long ago. “Regulus.”

“Come on Sirius, Potter says you kept him waiting long enough, Evans can barely deal with it anymore.” His brother said, Sirius nodded, standing, and bid farewell to the marauder one last time.

“Take care of him Moony, it's up to you now.”


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