Biggest Fear - Blog Posts

My worst nightmare is waking up to you not next to me. That you will fall out of love. That all of the little things I do will start to annoy you. My worst nightmare is being there when you kiss another girl. That everything about us was a lie. My worst nightmare is watching you walk out on what we had.

Losing you is my biggest fear

what's my biggest fear? why, thank you for asking.

one day realizing that i don't remember the names of the girls i sit with at lunch. one day realizing i don't remember the names of the kids in my classes. one day realizing i don't remember what my friends really looked like. realizing i don't remember their favorite colours. or where they're from. or what their favorite class is. who their favorite teacher is.

realizing i don't know where the girls i sit with at lunch are right now. if they've had kids. if they've gotten married. what they're studying. what they studied. what they're job is. if they've traveled. if they've left the country. if they've moved streets or towns or counties or states.

realizing that time has drawn us apart. currently we are an interwoven thread, every single one of us so much of the other, every single one of the other so much of us, but in 5 years or 10 or 15 - we might be strangers. realizing that time had strung us together, made us all so important to one another, just to pull us apart slowly. to make us memories. photographs. old texts. saved snapchats. journal entries.

my biggest fear is time - pulling me along a path that i have absolutely no choice but to follow. no choice to stop and change. what i do, i do. what i did, i did.