B-Negative - Blog Posts

Do you guys remember the Marvel's horrible take on GenZ heros?

Of course you do! Marvel's "New Warriors"

A comic so bad it was never released and canceled on the spot, but what if they come back? I have TWO proposals for marvel

A.Snowflake and Safespace kills the universe

And

B. Deadpool vs the New Warriors

The first comic would be a simple "blank hero goes evil and kills everyone" but with snowflake and safespace being stupidly overpowered

Snowflake having control of absolute zero, freezing people's arms off, crafting ice weapons to counter heros and Safespace using his forcefields at max control, crushing people in boxes, using very thin forcefields as giant arrows to shoot out, sucking out all the oxygen in his force fields to suffocate people

OR

They become deadpool villains and you give them new names like

DNI List, exposed&canceled, death threats, brain brainrot, and GRTL (get ready to lose)

And then you just put them with deadpool, say he posted something not "Politically correct" somewhere so the new warriors try to beat him up for it

Whatever you do you have to make them OVER THE TOP, you can't make them tame at all, they have to be making references every second and confuse everyone around them while either kicking their ass or getting their asses kicked

Either way it has to be funny because they're gag characters now, that's the only way they would work today

Baby’s First year… 2-3 months:

[Deep in the pits of New York City’s underground, further below even the bowels of its deepest darkest subways or dankest sewers,there is a man of medical science descending a dark ladder into even deeper depths still…]

Morbius: *hand over hand, trying to maintain 3-points of contact with the ladder at all times, unfortunately he has a rolled up playpen slung across his back and a partially unzipped backpack bulging around his chest that makes that kind of difficult; he mumbles to himself in Greek…* « it’s going to be fine. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to fine. It’s going to be ok…»

Morbius: *as his foot comes searching downwards for the rung below, it momentarily slides off the much closer than expected surface before finally gaining purchase. Morbius tenses at once, waiting for his heart to stop trying to pummel its way out of his chest (unbeknownst to him during his pause, for brief moment a second pair of footfalls can be felt out of step on the ladder before also coming to a halt); the contents of his backpack burble at him, and it becomes immediately obvious that he is not frightened for himself* «shhh… everything is fine little one. I will not misstep again, I promise you that… just hold on a little longer as we are almost there!»

Morbius: *there is a change in the quality of air as feet finally come to a rest on solid ground. Even in the pitch black, he takes a moment to check on his young charge. Little golden eyes stare adoringly up at him as he lifts the baby out of the backpack and into the crook of his arm. He swings the empty bag around to sit with the playpen before turning to start down the open tunnel* «Yes, you look well and that is good… now! Thank you for being so brave little one, as a reward I have something I want to share with you…»

[Eventually the tunnel begins to widen, and then brighten, until finally a large brightly lit cave mouth leading a steep drop-off is reached. Inside this cavern is a Terrific sight: a sprawling urban metropolis, unjudged by human eyes and wrought entirely by monstrous appendages alone, glitters magnificently below]

Morbius: *proudly hefting the child so he can get a good look* «Behold, little one, the greatest thing I have ever been a part of: “Monster Metropolis”…»

[Now that there is more than enough room for flight, Morbius holds the Baby closer to his chest and takes off into the subterranean gloom… Heading for a rundown looking civil building in the heart of town, he circles the building twice before finding an open window to touchdown at]

Morbius: *trying to enter the window quietly, with a two and a half month old to his chest, without making too much noise:*

Manphibian: *scowling eyes shining through the darkness, fins agitatedly erect, standing judgingly amongst the silhouettes of other key monsters, waiting menacingly/disappointedly in the dark for a certain tardy doctor* “Ssso, you finally shhowed up after … 6 monthssss? Doesss that mean you’re ready to help usss poor unfortunatesss now?”

Morbius: *caught straddling a window frame again, this time facing a whole firing squad instead of one angry lab partner, oh well atleast he was able to point the baby inside over the window seal; grimacing on the inside, but pretending nothing is wrong on the outside as he finishes slipping into the room * “Ahh, καλησπέρα Manphibian… Gentlemen, it is nice to see you all again after so long, too… Has it really been 6 months, Frank? N’kantu? Jack…?”

Werewolf by Night: *hackles raised as he breaks away from the other monsters to lecture Morbius: his tone says he’s not mad, just disappointed at Morbius’ attempts to play things off (as shown by an exasperated face palm), however he’s not afraid to rip him a new one as he starts lecturing the living vampire (gesticulating wildly as he does so) … until he pauses for a second to notice the little bundle of joy in Michael’s arms* “Yeah Mike, it has been 6 months, which means it’s a madhouse downstairs! which means we’re packed to the gills with folks here for everything from silver bullet wounds to their annual visit! And you.. You were supposed to be here months ago!! Of all the dumb, self aggrandizing, scientific shit that you and The Lizard are doing up in that dumb tower of yours, what on earth has kept you away from us little people for so long-uhhh, woah! Um, what’cha… whatcha got there, uh, Mike?”

[various sets of glowing and or glassy nearly-dead eyes try to follow jack’s golden gaze to figure out what brought his tirade to a halt… N’kantu is the first to notice, but before anything can even leave his Shara parched lips, the rest also notice the child… Suddenly there’s lots of lisping murmuring from Manphibian, in addition to exchanged looks of disbelief and confusion from Frankenstein’s monster and N’kantu the living mummy as they all wait with baited breath for Morbius’ answer; you’d almost think they’d never seen someone hold a baby up close before…]

Morbius: *big eye roll at everyone being so dramatically curious, reflexively decides to respond with sarcasm; without missing a beat, pulls off the rolled up playpen and the backpack of baby stuff and hands them, plus the baby, over to Jack before walking away * “Obviously my ‘Lunch’, Jack… Do you think you could set him up in the break room for me? Apparently I have a backlog of patients I need to attend to”

Werewolf by Night: *dumbfounded that he was handed the baby, he looks down at the little bundle and gives it a gentle sniff test across its fuzzy little head: it definitely a baby, but there’s something familiar in its scent…, the baby’s eyes crinkle as he burbles with delight at being snuffed, he grins back up at the Werewolf by Night: sharp tiny front-toofers glisten in his mouth; the implications do not go unnoticed by Jack* “woah, uhh???” *sniff sniff-sniff* [pause] *snuffle-snuffle sniff* *[happy burble~]* “wait-a-minute!!”

Werewolf by Night: *having left the others in his dust, now furiously trotting after Morbius with the baby and it’s gear in tow, quickly gaining ground on him!* “Hey! Hey! wait a minute, Michael! Hold on, hold on! Since when have you started eating baby vampires?”

Morbius: *drily, not breaking step, tired of all the lectures and questions by now* “Oh… since around three months ago, when this one was dumped on my doorstep…”

Morbius: *arrives at elevator bank, still yanking Jack’s chain while he waits for one to come; ends with a demented full smile * “yes~, and since then I just cannot get enough of them… you know Jack, you should really try one sometime?”

Werewolf by Night: *knows exactly what he’s hinting at, and doesn’t appreciate Morbius’ blasé attitude; follows him into the elevator when the door dings* “Oh? I should, huh? What do I look like, Nana, To you?”

Morbius:* Looks him coolly in the eyes, his reflective red peircing jack’s lupine yellow, daring him to keep talking* “Well, if you can keep him alive until I finish my shift, you can be his νονός instead…”

Werewolf by Night: *the doors slide closed as Jack does his best to ponder his limited Greek vocabulary for a translation…* “Nonos…?”

[Moments later the elevator opens again on the second floor now, the murmuring of a crowded room can be heard just down the hallway… the two standing in the doorway of the elevator: Morbius happy at having stunned the werewolf into silence, and Jack with an epiphany having gone off behind his eyes]

Werewolf by Night: *with big, teary, indescribably happy, Lupine Puppy-dog-eyes he turns to look at the smug doctor; if Jack had a tail nothing in that elevator would be safe from it right now…* “ wha… Michael!!? You-you really want me to be his Godfather?”

Morbius: *realizing his mistake, steps off the elevator like he’s in a hurry to get down to business, practically running to the door in embarrassment; tries using ‘logical reasoning’ to explain this actual spur of the moment decision * “Of-of course!! After all, You are only my second oldest surviving positive relationship… and, er, you are strong and capable of defending yourself and others… oh! And plus, superheroes do not bother you all that much for some reason … So… of course, you are the best backup guardian for the little one should something happen!!”

Werewolf by Night: *ignoring the embarrassed posturing, surely Micheal wouldn’t make such an offer if he didn’t mean it! Gives him a hearty slap on the back before leaving cheerfully * “Heh~ Whatever you say Doc, I guess me and the little guy will be right over here in the break room if you need us… Go knock’em dead tiger!”

Morbius: *sourly scowls one last time before opening the door and leaping into the metaphorical fray* “you know, generally that is the opposite of what I intended to do…”

[in the break room, Jack sat the rolled up playpen on the ground, placed the backpack on the countertop, and just held onto the baby as he starts unloading stuff: there are dippers and bottles and a pacie and an extra change of baby clothes and… There’s almost no end to the things that Jack pulls from the bag. But just when he starts to question if Morbius maybe asked Dr. Strange to enchant the bag, Jack finally realizes he’s done setting up all the baby stuff! And that’s exactly when he notices the little fella becoming fussy]

Werewolf by Night: *panics a bit since he’s just barely into his 30s and only has a superficial knowledge of how to take care of a fussy baby (doesn’t help that this one is a fussy baby vampire either); he finally figures out what the problem is when the baby tries to sink his teeth into Jack’s palm* “Woah! Woah! Shhh, shhh… it’s ok, it’s ok? W-what’s up little guy, are you tired? Do I do I need to change you, or? what’s going- aAGH!”

Werewolf by Night: *More surprised than hurt, he checks on his hand: his fur is now slightly shorter and a bit soggy were the baby bit, but the kid didn’t actually draw any blood thankfully (he doesn’t need vampirism and this baby does NOT need lycanthropy!); very quickly he goes from annoyed to making baby talk at the little guy to try and calm him down* “*sigh* Ok, note to self, Morb jr. is hungry… Ah! But atweast he didn’t getta mowthful of werewolf blood, no he didn’t ~ Oh no he didn’t!~ ‘Cause him’s daddy would kill me if I handed him back a puppy!, Oh yes he would~ Oh yes he would!~”

Werewolf by Night: *Juggling turning the now squirmy and bite-y baby to face away from his body while at the same time looking for “baby food” : he paws through all the stuff he just set out, not exactly sure what to he should expect it to look like either… until he finds a bag of opaque pink liquid labeled in big messy sharpie ‘B-Negative Formula’* “Ok then little guy, why don’t. you help me. look for… your… Lunch! Got it! Alright! One bag of ‘B-Negative’s Formula’ coming right up!”

Werewolf by Night: *having transferred the contents of the bag into a bottle and set the little one up to feed, realizes something important* “wait a minute… Is your Name ‘B-Negative’, little guy?”

B-Negative: *turns those cute little glowy golden eyes to look lovingly up at Jack while he gratefully sucks down the bottle*

Werewolf by Night: *has to shake his head at the absurdity, but ends with a smirk* “heh, of course your Daddies named you like a science experiment! What else should I have expected…?”

[meanwhile, in the Examination Room, Morbius goes through patient after patient making diagnoses and administering treatment to many a different and strange problem faced by these monstrous citizens]

Morbius: *trying to reassure a large snake woman that she’s good to leave now; he practically has to shove her out the door…* “*sigh* Yes, yes I promise Mrs.Echidna, that cream should absolutely clear up your scale-rot! Yes, and if you would just go on to the front desk where one of my associates will write you a prescription for it at your local pharmacy… Yes, the door back is just down the hallway… Mhmm, you just read the instructions… yes, yes of course, but you need to go get it first… so if you would kindly? Yes, ‘goodbye’ Mrs.Echidna!”

Morbius: *watches to make sure she actually leaves through the correct door before checking for his next patient* “Ο δόξα το Θεό! I thought she’d never leave… Ok, and the next one is…? One, ‘Mr.Barlow’?”

Morbius: *radios to Manphibian to let the next patient through, and then waits…*

Morbius: *he waits for five minutes before he notices the noise of the waiting room escalate through the painfully thin walls of the examination room, and then he hears/nearly feels a suspicious *THUD* from something striking the floor in there* “what on earth is going on up there?”

Morbius: *Deciding to investigate, he goes to check the hallway: one of the bulbs at the end has decided to flicker ominously, and he can now hear screaming coming from the door at the end of the hallway that leads to the waiting room! He gets halfway down the hall when it stops; he also pauses for a moment*

Morbius: *finally, the door to the hallway creaks open to reveal an older looking nosferatu-style vampire… but something looks off about the way he fills up the door way…; fearing something medically might be wrong, Michael calls out to him* “Hello? Mr.Barlow? Do you need any assistance?”

[Mr.Barlow never gets a chance to reply: as suddenly his eyes bulge and he attempts to let out a scream that gets quickly silenced by the glint of a blade slicing cleanly through his wind pipe and the rest of his neck! The body starts to smoke and catch fire as it crumbles forward into the hallway, as if pushed from behind, and someone else enters the room]:

Blade: *with all the menacing British vampire hunter swagger he has* “I’m afraid it’s too late for him, Morbius… But you can help me out by pointing me towards that bloody little bundle of joy I watched you drag down here!”

Morbius: *has a pretty good idea of what Blade would do to the baby and decides that that’s unacceptable; furious, he crouches forward, ready to spring into a fight* “I am afraid that you are not scheduled for an appointment with us today, Blade! In fact, YOU WILL SEE THAT CHILD OVER MY DEAD BODY!!”

Blade: *pointing up the tip of his sword, signaling that he is also ready for a fight* “I see… so it’s going to be like that, is it?”

Morbius: *launching himself forward, all claws and teeth, ready to die for “his” child* “YES, IT SHALL!!”

To be Continued in the next issue of‘Blade’…

[Part 2 of 6]

Months after both the Blood Hunt and Venom War events…

Dr. Strange: *entering the master bedroom of the sanctum sanctorum in nothing but his cloak of levitation, doing his best attempt at seduction* “Clea Strange: I’ve come to bargain!”

Clea: *On the bed and also naked, doing her best to humor her husband’s attempt by not giggling* “Oh? And what, lowly Sorcerer Strange, do you come to bargain for?”

Dr. Strange: *joining her on the bed* “Why, O queen of the Dark dimension, your first born child, of course…”

Clea: *still trying not to crack up, they’re on take #27 and this is the furthest they’ve gotten yet (she just can’t help it, she loves her man dearly, but she finds earthly mating rituals to be so silly)* “ Is *snk* is that so? And-and what do you have to offer in return?”

Dr.Strange: *cupping her face in his hands, leaning in for a sweet sincere kiss* “an evening so magical it would make even fair Aphrodite blush”

Clea: *leans into the kiss, otherwise she might finally burst; it’s absolutely magical, but as they pull apart for an air break she happens look at the window… and what she sees there turns her love and mirth into embarrassment and terror: a shiny pair of red tapetum lucidum are watching her!* “Gyahhh! STEPHAN! STEPHAN! The window!”

Dr.Strange: *whirls around, beet-red: he sees the blood red eyes too (but that shouldn’t be! that window is dressed to the nines in protective wards, nothing with even an iota of magic should be within 10ft of it!); however, through narrowed angry eyes, he knows exactly who’s peeping on them…* “goddamnit Michael… hold on a second Clea, I’ll be right back.

Dr.Strange: * leaves his cloak with his wife, and storms over to open the window * “By The Hoary Hosts, Michael Morbius! You better have a good reason for interrupting me and my wife!”

Morbius: *three points of contact in a death grip to continue hanging under the window seal, yet gently holding a bundle of something to his chest; he cannot seem to look dr.strange in the eye as he answers, he’s too embarrassed by what he saw* “ζητό συγγνώμη , I promise this is important Stephan…”

Dr.Strange: *still irate* “important? Someone better be out there dying or getting eaten by demons, Michael! This couldn’t wait till morning?”

Morbius: *bundle briefly starts squirming before stopping when he adjusts it* “It has waited for far too many mornings, I am afraid, and neither the Lizard nor I know what to do anymore! I just feel so weak, now and… you know, I nearly fell out of the sky just getting here!”

Dr.Strange: *wary, but puzzled* “look, if you’re just asking for blood, know that I don’t have any for you-“

Morbius: *offended, then in pain as the contents of the bundle latches onto a bare patch of skin; he has to grip the window seal to not fall off* “Ugh! Tis not always about blood, and even if it was this time, it would not be for meeee-Aagh! Why!? Why!? Γιατί τα δοντάκια σας είναι ήδη τόσο κοφτερά ;!”

Dr.Strange: *more concerned now* “would you- would you like to come in to discuss this?”

Morbius: *clearly overwhelmed* “yes!”

Later…

In a Drawing room, seated in comfortable chairs by the fireplace , with everyone dressed and no longer hanging by a window seal:

Dr.Strange: *leaned forward in seat, elbows on knees, and fingers steepled; trying to be understanding* “So let me get this straight: you, and The Lizard, found a baby?”

Morbius: *nods In confirmation, is now holding said baby in a more open position on his lap (mostly so the baby can’t take another bite out of him…)* “Yes, someone left a foundling on our doorstep in a covered bassinet. We waited for του μωρού parents to come back for him for hours, but they never came. Eventually, the child got hungry… and well…” *waggles a bandaged index finger at the baby, the child laughs and tries to reach for it*

Clea: *has an ‘ah-ha’ moment as she points to the small fresh wound on Morbius’s chest* “Wait… are you saying that the infant did that?”

Dr.Strange: *concerned look at the baby: it’s just as plump and cherubic as any other infant, if a little pale…* “Is he… like you?”

Morbius: *looks down at the little bundle of ‘Joy’ with a frown: the baby looks back at him, the fire light catching tiny golden tapetum lucidum, and he smiles a big baby smile, showing off two slightly sharper than average baby-teeth…* “Ehhh, probably? Conners is at home running all the scientific tests, but we will not be sure until the morning. Meanwhile I came here, to you, for a second opinion…”

Clea: “… on whether or not the infant is Undead?”

Morbius: *lips pursed at the idea of ‘undeath’* “Well, I was just going to say ‘Supernatural’… but yes. I did wonder if he would ever have a chance to grow up… to maybe get better…”

Dr.Strange: *understands where Morbius’ concerns come from, tries to reassure his friend* “hmmm… well I can confirm, he is not ‘supernatural’ as you put it; a vampire his size would not have survived all the Wards you traipsed through to get to my window, Michael.”

Morbius: *surprised pikachu face in horror as it dawns on him how careless he was* “ what do you mean ‘survive’…?”

Clea: *trying to distract their guest* “So, how have you been feeding him then? what has his feeding schedule been like? Have you setup a routine for him yet? What names are you thinking about? Did you see if he already had one…

*Clea proceeds to as a thousand questions that just didn’t occur to the poor scientist; (Dr.Strange could absolutely kiss his wife right about now, her distraction is working!)*