My Only True Headcanon When I Write John Walker Is: He's A Total Bottom. Didn't Realize It Until After

This took an hour to convert to a jpg file! Buttttttt here's the bad boy I randomly drew for my coworker out of boredom, so like goobers anyone!

Being a system is sometimes being called an inconsistent asshole who can't commit for his life. When in reality your 8 guys in one body DESPERATELY trying to function and everyone keeps forgetting what they said they'd do....

YES the Thunderbolts have a fantastic team as family dynamic, yes they are living in Avengers tower, yes history is repeating itself and 2012 tower fics are so back. BUT!

instead of "Alexei eating poptarts" or "Yelena in the vents", we must come up with new headcanons and make history

Bob always does normal domestic chores, often getting in the way of important missions and spy business. "All I'm saying is Bucky is our best sniper" "It would be a much quieter assassination if I just slipped into the condo and cut his—" "Hey sorry guys, anyone have laundry? I'm doing a load"

Yelena and her guinea pig always eat meals together at the dining table. Everyone has their Chinese food or barbeque, meanwhile the rodent is loudly munching on a salad right beside them

Bucky is the mom and always keeps them on track. "Ava you have a dentist appointment in the morning, and bring Bob so they can add him to the insurance. Lena how was therapy? Alexei, I said no vodka until dinner"

Alexei is always coming up with new promotional ideas for the team. Cartoon tv show, cereal, toothpaste flavour...every day he thinks he's come up with the next big thing. Whenever they actually get put into production (Wheaties) he collects and saves it, and won't let anyone use a different product. (He threw out Yelena's frosted flakes and it took both Bucky and John to get her to stop attacking him)

Ava likes to phase and sneak attack her teammates at random. She claims it's for training but really she just thinks it's funny hearing them scream

John gets blamed for everything, even if it isn't his fault. Especially if it isn't his fault: "who ate the last bagel?" "John." "Where's my hair straightener?" "John had it." "Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher?" "Johnnnn"

I can’t imagine being a Sam Wilson hater. Like I’d cry, I simply can’t imagine hating that beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, lovely, sweet, down to earth, has never done anything wrong ever, kind man. He’s the absolute best, literally amazing.

Just as a reminder, Anthony Mackie is a GORGEOUS man. I need everyone to understand just how beautiful this man is. This just turned into me simping over Anthony Mackie, and I’m okay with that.

[Gripping the sink with shaking hands]

Needing help from other people is okay

Needing help from other people is okay

Needing help from other people is okay

Needing help from other people is okay

Being a trans dude is like being Schrodinger’s man. I’m a guy when it can be used against me and a woman when it can be used against me, but I’m never “trans” to these transandrophobic fucks

And the world will crucify me for being the man I wish to be.

They see a child lost in the war of the world

They see a monster destroying the body of a beautiful little girl.

I'm not 7 anymore.

And I've always known what I am

I'm a man, forced to grow up in a life others made me live.

And I will always be a man.

You can rip the skin from my body, and strip me of my bones

But I'll always know

You can suffocate me and cover my mouth as I scream out

But I'll always know.

And you'll always know, what I am.

You can fight me every step of the way, but I'm still a man

Your words mean nothing to me.

If they bury me in a grave with a headstone of the little girl they think I am.

I'll claw my way out of the wood and soil

I'm not a little girl

I was never a girl

I'm not 7 anymore

I'm not 12

I'm not 15

Im me

And I'll always be me.

And I'm a man.

I will cry until I can't anymore

And when they try to drown me in my own tears

I'll kick and scream

I refuse to go silently the way they want me to

I'm a man

And I will never be the little girl they wanted.

I really dig Sam’s style because he is a fundamentally good character with a fighting style oriented to subdue and neutralize instead of harm (and you have to be a hell of a good fighter to do what he does without a serum) but the second his life is getting threatened he goes full Sidney Prescott and hits with whatever is around him and pretty ruthless at that

There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on about the fact that nearly every transmasculine person I have known of is some kind of artist, writer, cinephile, visionary, or storyteller of some variety, often doing that work for free, and the separate but related fact that we are the least explicitly represented or acknowledged gender in any form of media. Something about how seeing a trans man on a screen feels illegal, and is still taboo even when people pretend it isn’t because even the discussion of existence of the taboo would cause our being to spread like a virus, and that can’t possibly be allowed. It’s a feeling like you have watched the curtain peeled back on creation. We have always been here, telling our stories, and you can see glimpses of us in everything, but our explicit acknowledgement is terrifying to everyone who isn’t us and has a vested interest in maintaining their position above us in the social order even while the thought of us can never cross their mind. When people say that no one is scared of trans men it makes me want to laugh. We are so unfathomable to everyone indoctrinated into the cissexist binary that we cannot even be spoken of except as echoes and ghosts of our true selves, never to be fully brought into the light, just madmen weaving our tales in the shadows only for those who listen.