Drlickitysplitty - Local Creature

i forgot i had tumblr for a hot sec im so sorry😭😭😭🫠 heres some domestic middle aged ghoap for your troubles🤲

oh and a bonus too!!!!

(ill try to be more active here) ((key word: try😭))

There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on about the fact that nearly every transmasculine person I have known of is some kind of artist, writer, cinephile, visionary, or storyteller of some variety, often doing that work for free, and the separate but related fact that we are the least explicitly represented or acknowledged gender in any form of media. Something about how seeing a trans man on a screen feels illegal, and is still taboo even when people pretend it isn’t because even the discussion of existence of the taboo would cause our being to spread like a virus, and that can’t possibly be allowed. It’s a feeling like you have watched the curtain peeled back on creation. We have always been here, telling our stories, and you can see glimpses of us in everything, but our explicit acknowledgement is terrifying to everyone who isn’t us and has a vested interest in maintaining their position above us in the social order even while the thought of us can never cross their mind. When people say that no one is scared of trans men it makes me want to laugh. We are so unfathomable to everyone indoctrinated into the cissexist binary that we cannot even be spoken of except as echoes and ghosts of our true selves, never to be fully brought into the light, just madmen weaving our tales in the shadows only for those who listen.

HAD HORRIFIC art block for like a week an a half! I'm free of it finally!!!! Be prepared I have multiple ideas for my courier and Arcade!

I'm not gonna be in the Call Of Duty fandom anymore, well, the MW fandom. at least not fully, and I will explain, but first and foremost I want to clarify: I'm NOT leaving tumblr entirely & I'm NOT gonna back down either from my previous statements. So, allow me to begin as to why I'm making this decision.

The rape, incest, pedo and animal abuse pornography

Quite frankly, as someone who has been through rape and child sexual abuse, I find it ABHORRENT that anyone would ever look at such abuses and decide to fetishise, romanticise and glorify these things. I do not care nor want to know your "justifications" because frankly there aren't any. As a survivor, I am aware that the fandom is malicious and nasty towards people like me; I am aware that you people willingly and HAPPILY engage with such harmful, disgusting material. Quite honestly, I could not name a space more dedicated to the harassment, malicious treatment and utterly disgusting behaviour towards these topics and the people who openly disagree with them.

The racism

Before you tell me "Call Of Duty fans have always been racist", I am aware of that. But I'm talking specifically about the niche fandom (because it is niche). The fandom treats Black and Brown characters utterly abhorrently; from turning Gaz into a stereotype through to fetishising Farah and everything in between, the fandom's racism is progressively getting WORSE - and then x reader writers (who are predominantly white) only add to that by purposefully and willfully excluding Black and Brown people from fandom altogether. The racism within this space makes it clear that anybody who is NOT white is NOT welcome, and frankly, I do not wish to be associated with such disgusting people. To treat Black people as tokens, to purposefully KICK people of colour out of fandom - it's disgraceful and I hope that everybody is ashamed of themselves.

The ableism and saneism

The Call Of Duty fandom is NOT a safe place for anyone who has a psychotic, schizospec, dissociative or personality disorder. Plain and simple. From the colloquial usage of mental health terms such as "delusional", through to the "jokes" which are made to trigger people with such disorders (e.g. "in your walls"), and to the casual usage of anti-psychotic slurs like "psycho" and "schizo", it's obvious to anyone with just one quick look that this fandom sees people with such disorders as either their punching bags, their "memes" or worse: not human at all. And this also translates to fanworks, as quite honestly, I'm tired of seeing the same treatment directed towards characters like Nikto, because it shows that you people do not care about us at all. We aren't human to you, and we never will be. We are not even worth CONSIDERING when it comes to offensive language - it's degrading, it's dehumanising and it's exhausting to have to constantly walk away from fanworks that are so obviously made with malicious intent.

The homophobia

I am a bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual/queer/whatever you wanna call it man, and the amount of homophobia in the Call Of Duty fandom is disgusting. No, bisexual men AREN'T your "uwu bby boy so soft such a bottom bitch!!". You perpetuating homophobic stereotypes for the sake of a ship is utterly and completely and truly vile. How dare you claim to support LGBTQIA+/queer people when you KNOWINGLY perpetuate these stereotypes? When you KNOWINGLY engage in homophobic behaviour. You are scum.

The antisemitism and islamophobia

This is a touchy subject for non-religious folk, but I really wish you lot would all leave religious people alone. It takes you two seconds to look up what Muslims and Jews believe in and act accordingly. It takes you two seconds to NOT open your mouth when Muslims and Jews talk about their headcanons of characters being religious - because what gives you the right? Why do you feel so comfortable to shut down religious people's headcanons of characters? "Oh, he can't be Jewish because he's English", English Jews exist. "Oh, he can't be Muslim because he's Scottish", Scottish Muslims exist. These people exist in real life, and you saying that a character CANNOT be a Muslim or a Jew because of where they come from is little more than antisemitism and Islamophobia. Do better.

The apathy

When I say "the apathy", I mean exactly that. It is exhausting having to call out these horrid things time and time again and then see people WILLINGLY ignoring blatant bigotry by brushing it off and saying "I don't want to get involved in drama", as if somebody being a bigot is akin to a quarrel between two friends, or a disagreement between two people. If you aren't willing to address genuine harm ONLINE, then I'm sorry, but I doubt you would do anything OFFLINE either. If you're boiling things that actually harm people down to "drama", then I'm sorry, but you can't expect to be considered a safe person for people to be open with and to be honest with when it comes to their mental health or to their triggers. It's that simple. Your apathy towards your fellow man is blatant, and I cannot in good conscience continue to rub shoulders with such people.

Going forward

I'm not going to be engaging with MOST of the content within the Call Of Duty fandom - whether that's edits, fanfic, fanart, etc. I'm not. I've got a few mutuals who I've decided I WILL continue reading from or looking at their art or whatever, but for the most part, I'm not going to be active within the Call Of Duty fandom. I will continue writing for SOME of the characters, but my list of who I write for will be drastically reduced to just a few select characters. If somebody asks me "hey, is X thing saneist?" then of course I'll answer. If somebody points out to me that I took a request from someone who follows a rape pornographer, then I will delete that request and that fanfic entirely. I will still be happy to talk about the characters & games, but it will only be WHEN ASKED, and I will continue to use my DNI (although I'm going to change it a little so that the rape porn viewers/readers know I don't want them near me).

Of course, if anyone requires further clarification on anything I said, I'll be happy to answer and explain as best as I can! And if anyone feels emboldened by this post to come forward and share their own experiences with such things, then I will happily read through that, too! This post is 100% okay to reblog, and if anyone wishes to reblog it and go "This is also why I left the fandom", then I will happily hear you out. What I will NOT hear out, however, is any justification or defence of any of the harmful behaviours I have mentioned - I do not wish to hear it. Pack it in, and take it to 4Chan where you belong.

Tiny waists make me go feral

My only true headcanon when I write John Walker is: he's a total bottom. Didn't realize it until after Bob walked into his life. Divorced guy loves taking it, often, and in as many positions as they can manage. Totally unapologetic about it too.

matching skulls boyfriends

The vibes of my anxiety, hesitancy and apathy are slowly being converted into just straight "who gives a fuck" vibes and the explosive urge to live right now with my entire fucking being

Testosterone is great

Makes me uhhh not wanna die ig

Like so sorry but after spending 80% of my childhood being sexually harassed (for being seen as a girl) and being sexually harassed (for being trans) and being plain ol' harassed (for being a freak) and being sexually harassed again (for being a freak), I just think you're being maliciously ignorant if you try to claim trans men... don't face misogyny? Or just, violence in general, or even violence specific to us.

This is no longer a debate for me, y'all are just... wrong. On purpose.

I feel so many people forget how genuinely isolating being trans is and going to college all at the same time. As a Transgender man (FTM) it's socially a cesspool. People singling me out, assholes finding out I'm trans and it spreading like wildfire. Despite the fact I've been medically transitioning for nearly a year now, come within 3 months. It doesn't make it any easier, let alone finding a job or housing. Dorms often won't get back to me or even answer my emails or calls after they find out I'm trans. Or the fact it's become ridiculous coming out at each new work place. Finding affordable housing and a job where I don't constantly feel the need to re-out myself because people can't stay civil is crushing. I'm in a near constant loop of me being trans impacting my every moment in life. Either from bullying, people spreading rumors; or even housing and jobs being unwilling to deal with my personal matters or working around my schedule as a full time college student.