Writing - Blog Posts

Writing Prompt #12

I’m sorry I could not love you the way you needed me to.

Writing Prompt #11

“I will embed your name into your skin with my lips, if I must.”

Writing Prompt #10

A is violently ill and B has no idea what to do.

Writing Prompt #9

I’m not asking God for forgiveness. He should have a sense of humor.

Writing Prompt #8

“What is your problem?!”

“You! You’re my problem! Why can’t you understand that?”

Writing Prompt #7

“Out of all the places I expected us to go, this was the farthest thing that I could have even thought of.”

Writing Prompt #6

I’m lost, I’m so lost. How could I ever be seen as lovable in your eyes?

Writing Prompt #5

A screams, clutching the chair.

“Why are you screaming?!” B shouts as they run into the room.

A stares at the floor with a horrified expression.

“I dropped it.”

Writing Prompt #4

“Noooo, I’m not worried about us at ALL.”

“It’s just a match.”

“EXACTLY!”

Writing Prompt #3

A character is trying to call their best friend over with increasingly absurd nicknames.

Writing Prompt #2

“I swear to whichever god is listening right now, if I have to bring you back from the brink of death ONE MORE TIME, I’m going to kill you myself.”

Senior letters are so hard to write because of how blurry my vision gets with the tears.

The worry that this is all going to end and I’m never going to talk to them again. The sadness of knowing that our roads are going down different paths.

The pride I feel of how far they’ve come and how many different adventures we’ve gone on. The inside jokes. The stories. The lore.

The vulnerable moments. The good times. The bad times.

And I have to summarize all of that and include well wishes in a single letter????

My heart is going to explode. I love every one of these people so much.

Even worse, you form a stronger attachment to the side character than the main character.

the worst part of writing is when you realize you accidentally gave a side character a better arc than the main character.

write your book /threat (/j <3)

I will after i rewrite the plot! It is becoming a much longer process than i anticipated <3. I'm now writing chapters out

*TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of su*c*d*l ideations and feelings and depression.*

Saturday, Oct. 22nd, 2022

7:27pm

Dear Me,

This is Day 5 of my New York chapter, and I don’t feel whole. I’ve been struggling with my depression since the beginning of September and I’ve slowly been losing my perception of myself and the feeling of being alive and real. I was feeling extremely suicidal and lost my will to keep living; my reasons to keep living and to not view my death as my only escape and release.

I went to the Wesley Woods facility to receive more intensive care and to follow through with my obligation of surviving for the people who love me. It was an awful experience, filled with constantly masking, suffering with little help, and lies. I left that facility feeling numb, confused, hurt, betrayed, and like nothing but everything changed. Then, being confronted with leaving Emory U. to go to New York to look for better, proper treatment was earth-shattering. I feel fractured a thousand times over, hurt beyond my bones, and drained of my entire being. I pushed and pushed with urgency to file the medical leave with such disingenuous people because I wanted a change immediately. It just exacerbated everything and left me feeling empty and hollow. Not human, just a shell with no direction.

I left Emory feeling heartbroken and empty (with one friend lost), and arrived in New York feeling unstable, spaced, and unmotivated. I feel completely lost in space and time, and I can’t bring myself to feel positive or negative about this change. I can’t even say what I want right now, I’m just repeating things from months ago. It’s frustrating and disappointing. I feel defeated and I don’t have a genuine reason to keep going.

After being here in New York for 5 days, the answers that I’ve been searching for and desiring have still not come. I feel like my mind is taking up too much space, while also being microscopically small. I’m exhausted and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. My sister and her girlfriend have put in all this money and time because they love me and want to support me, but I don’t even understand what this love feels like… I wish that I could take what they have been saying to me and feel it deep in my bones that it’s true and that it holds meaning, but it feels just as empty as I do. They and my friends have done so much for me, but I’m struggling to see the path and end goal. I don’t feel worth it or that I deserve their worries and effort because I don’t feel it for myself. I wish things were different…

Part 2 Part 3

I’ve gained some new followers lately, and over the last few days, I’ve been thinking about being more active on this page. I honestly started this page to occasionally post some of my journal writing as a way to connect with people that I will never meet. Just to have something that will mean something more than what I was feeling in the moment.

I think I’ll continue doing that more often now, but not with the idea of doing it to “connect with others”. I want to truly do it for myself and to make content that is real and if people read it, they can relate or feel inspired by it. I think this is great way for me to pour into something that brightens my life more. So engage if you like, and if you don’t, that’s fine too! Cheers to 2023! 🎉

writing is such a rollercoaster if an activity

i feel like i’m doing well

and then 15 minutes later i feel like my writing sucks ass

i need to keep reminding myself that revisions exist and that i’m working on outlines right now

i really want to make the story i’m writing gayer but i don’t want the characters in it to be in a relationship and also i really don’t think it would make sense with the mental state one of them is in

i kind of feel bad about what i’ve done to one of my ocs

i think i may have hurt her a little too much

i may have made her do too many bad things

I wrote a story set in the Cosmic Ray universe (the setting I’ve been working on) for the final for an english class

i’ve posted it on AO3 for people to read

i’ve remembered my sci-fi project again

time to be unsure of where to take the story for the next week until i forget

The struggle

Do you ever ship your characters in a non-canon triad? My characters are storywise married to each other and are monogamous, but I keep shipping their shared bestfriend with them. I know this would be impossible in the canon story but still.

I, the CREATOR, has to separate my own ships from the canonical story line>

Do y’all ever just have a dream and decide to incorporate it into your story?

Because right now I’m trying to figure out how to write a scene where my main character is digging through a bucket of fetuses because he needs the Mcguffin badly. 

"How Could This Be?

"You Time Warp My Ass Back To Reality?"

Effect vs. Affect

I just came up with a fun way to remember when to use effect or affect.

Think about: Affect-ion

You give affection and are thus effected positively.

Affect is the intrusion or the causation and effect is the solution.

The rain affects the garden by watering it. The garden is effected by the rain.

Affect refers to an action that will/is/has interrupted the previous norm. Effect refers to the act of being influenced by something else

Affect is given onto something

Effect is received from something

New fic posted

This time it's ongoing and is gonna be very hard to keep writing it now that I put that much pressure on myself (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

Explodes you with mind

please read it I beg

Toy Story Human Au

Idea that I’m probably not gonna write but a human toy story (I recently watched it and this has been rotting away in my brain).

Names and Ages

Woody Round 34

Jessie Round 28

Andy and Molly Round 8 & 2

Brady “Buzz” Lightyear 30

Henry “Mr. Potato” Spud 42

Rex Plastic 20

Bonnie “Bo” Peep 31

Jim “Slinky” Dog 39

John Hahnm 43

“Sarg. (No one knows his real name except Woody and wants to keep it that way) 48

Setup

Woody and Jessie are siblings raising Woody’s adopted kids, Andy and Molly(the only kids in town). They run a ranch called the “Roundup Ranch.” Woody’s prone to stress but is the unofficial leader of their small community with Jessie and Bo as his second. Slinky is often there to give him advice though, as the town’s only bartender. Jessie is even worse than her brother when it comes to anxiety but Bo helps her keep a level head. She likes Buzz and hopes to be his friend but his boisterous attitude in the beginning is a bit off putting. 

Andy and Molly are orphans. Their mother died in a car accident years ago leaving them to the care of her childhood friend, Woody. They’ve been living with them ever since Molly was an infant and Andy was six. As the only children, they’re doted on by everyone in town and are a bit spoiled, but no one really minds. Andy insists on giving everyone nicknames and Molly follows along with a laugh.

Rex Plastic is the local gentle giant. He’s a little slow but he knows his strength and is so gentle with the children. He works on the ranch as a farmhand for a bed and meal.

Brady “Buzz” Lightyear is an astronaut who crash landed in their wild west esque town. Woody doesn’t trust him but his kids and sister like him so that’s something. He’s currently stranded there and thinks everyone is insane because even though it’s the modern age they still like to live in the wild west. He’s working to get back to his space program but is slowly getting attached to the small town.

Henry Spud runs the local bank with his business partner and friend John Hahnm. He’s called “Mr. Potato” by the kids, something that everyone starts doing. He’s missing one eye that he constantly replaces with a set of wild and fun false eyes to entertain the kids, before he only wore an eyepatch. Even though his soft on the children, to everyone else he's ornery and short tempered.

John Hahnm runs the local bank with Mr. Potato head. He’s a sarcastic old man but his wisecrack remarks are fun to be around. (Mr. Ham! No kids, it's Hahnm, say it with me, Hahnm. Ham!)

Bonnie Peep, called “Ms. Bo Peep,” tends to the local sheep and cattle(the irony is not lost on her). She’s dating Jessie and is one of Woody’s closest friends and confidants. 

Jim “Slinky” Dog, his nickname surprisingly didn’t come from the kids, but Mr. Potato and Hahnm instead(Never play cards with that tricky bastard). He tends to the only bar in town as the only worker and owner. No one’s really sure where he came from, he just showed up one day with a fully stocked bar and an open ear. Even though he has a mysterious demeanor, Woody trusts him and that's enough for everyone else.

Sarg. He’s just as mysterious as Slinky but for much sadder reasons. Everyone can tell he’s a vet but his demeanor towards that part of his life is so negative and usually results in either violence or sobbing that everyone has steered away from it. Everyone except for Woody, he was the only one Sarg confided in when he first moved and that’s remained the same. When asked, Woody simply insists they leave him alone. For some reason though, he likes being called Sarg, it brings pride to him.

I'm not ignoring my WIPs. they're ripening in my mental cellar