Unconditional Love - Blog Posts

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Love unconditional 💕 nuff said.

The Giving Tree

The Giving Tree is one of those books where I’m shocked there so much controversy with it and shows my how different people’s perspectives can be. Looking at the same situation people believe that The Giving Tree shows a selfish boy who just takes and takes and takes: promoting narcissism and selfishness. In this scenario, the tree may also represent unrealistic goals to new mothers who are supposed to give and give to their child and expect nothing in return or environmentalists who have the boy as a symbol for our destructive pillaging of the planet.

When I read I naturally and by force try to focus on the relationships between characters and how their wants and feelings dictate their actions (as is the case with most humans). I focus on the aspects of the story where the boy and tree are together and how the tree just wants to make the boy happy, and is always happy when he is happy. While I see it as a story of parental love, it really represents all true love, where you want the other person to be happy whether or not that happiness includes you—you want what’s best for them, even if it’s not what’s best for you.

My experiences with parenthood reflect those in the book but only in a simplified version. In the beginning, the boy loves the tree so much, yes he takes from her: her energy, her time, her snacks—but he’s also there with her sharing his time and his laughter and love. As a teen the boy just uses the tree and as a young adult, the boy creates a home, from the foundation of the tree and his own plans and efforts. The last two moments: where the boy is lost and tries to get away and the ending when he just wants to sit on the stump; these are the moments I don’t know we always get to see with our children, unfortunately. Even those who become parents while their own parents are around still say they didn’t appreciate or tell them enough how much they love them—things only realized after they’re gone. It’s sad, of course it’s sad. It’s depressing and shows that people can be too loving and too selfish. As with any book, you can take from it what you want to take from it, from the Giving Tree, I choose to see the relationship as a boy and his Momma, who in the end will be perfectly happy just spending time together; young or old.

Remus Lupin

Unlike Hagrid, Lupin, had a very hard time getting over eveything that happened to him, which is part of why I’m always very sad when I think of him. Similar to Harry and Hagrid, Lupin’s life started out with difficulty and made him more of an outcast than either, getting bitten by a werewolf. 

Going to Hogwarts, he made good, true friends, but had to keep this secret from them; when he tells them, they accept him but then he deals with the guilt of betraying Albus and allowing his friends to break every benefit and precaution that allowed him to come to Hogwarts, along with the reputation and status of the school if anyone else found out. Then the First Wizarding War came but during that time his friends got married and had a child and the war only ended with the murder of his friends, the orphanage of their son, and the betrayal of another. 

The majority of Lupin’s life was between the two Wizarding Wars, when he was all alone. For over 10 years Lupin believed that one of his best friends, had betrayed not only his friends, but for power and out of hate, while he was left all alone. While the truth was similar, considering the bond Sirius and James had, and the possibility that they knew Peter wasn’t always at their level, there was a small reprieve when Lupin learned the truth. But again, the return of his friend lasts only two years before he is murdered and in that time the Second Wizarding War had begun. Again overcome with loss, loneliness and guilt, he holds himself back from love and happiness until he accepts, continues to feel guilt and shame when his child is born and soon after he and his wife are murdered.

There are many things that were so great about Lupin, he was honest, a good man, a good father, great friend and teacher. He was strong, brave, compassionate; he is a man who deserved and should have had it all but whose life was plagued, and spirit his overshadowed by ridiculous judgement and personal grief. Today is Trans Day of Visibility, a day dedicated to celebration of one’s true self and highlighting the cruelty and misguided hated those who are Trans receive. When I speak of Hagrid, I speak of how he was able to overcome his misfortunes, but Lupin was not; this, is not on Lupin. He should have had it all, he deserved to have an amazing life but was never given the opportunity to truly shine or love himself. It was not planned that I’d write about Lupin on Trans Day of Visibility, but the message I would say about both are linked.

Do Good, Be Good. While we can learn so much from Lupin, what the world needs to understand is how much they miss out on by judgement, prejudice, hate and fear. Bullying and discrimination do not bring peace, safety or justice, but they do put people at pause, holding back so much from the world and stealing from us all true love, prosperity and happiness. 

"Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it."

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

- Dante Alighieri