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i’m actually sobbing i love and miss him so much

Goodbye Suguru

Geto Suguru x fem!reader Word count:2.1k Warnings:Major injuries, blood loss, swearing, angst at the end, but some fluff in between Summary: You didn´t see Suguru since he left you and your friends on that fateful day after Riko´s death. But when you and Satoru take in a new student, he suddenly seems to be interested again…

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Your heart was beating at an ungodly speed, your breath was going fast and your limbs hurt from exorcising so many cursed spirits. But you had to make it in time, you just had to. Satoru was too busy, you knew he wouldn't make it back to Jujutsu Tech in time. 

But you could make it.

You just hoped that your students would be alright. That they would be alive. You knew what Suguru was capable of and he wouldn't hesitate to kill kids, especially someone like Maki who was born without cursed energy.  

Your train of thoughts came to a sudden halt as you finally reached the familiar school grounds. You didn't even have to enter, as you already saw the damage from outside. Huge parts of the main buildings were entirely destroyed. But you could only guess  whose deeds  these were.

You quickly made your way towards a nearby alley, which was a shortcut to the main site. To say that you were surprised by who you met there, would be an understatement. 

"You're late.”, Suguru said,”Even though I didn't expect you here, Y/N.”

You didn't say anything, too busy staring at him, or rather the right side of his body. You saw that his arm had been blown off, which gave you a little bit of Hope that at least Yuta would be alive. 

“To think you'd be the one here at my end.”, he continued without waiting for an answer,”Is my family safe?” You were a bit taken aback by his question, but answered nonetheless:”Everyone of them managed to escape. The ones in Kyoto were under your orders too, right?”

Suguru only smiled at you, leaning further into the wall he was sitting against:”Yeah, unlike you, I'm a kind Person.” You could only scoff at his words, choosing not to answer him.

”You and Satoru sent those two assuming that I`d defeat them, didn't you? To set Okkotsu off”, Suguru finally asked.

You sighed:”We…I trusted you. Trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn't kill off young sorcerers without a reason.”

“Trust, huh?”, he grinned,” I didn't think I still had any of that left.”

His words almost made you tear up. Even though you put on a tough demeanor in front of him, it still pained you to see him like this. Only a shell of the man he once was. The man you once loved.

Upon hearing your silence, Suguru lifted his remaining arm and threw a card at you:”Return this for me, will you?” You briefly looked at it and realized that it was Yuta´s student ID card. “Was the elementary school your doing too?”, you asked quietly, finally connecting all the dots in your head.

“Yeah.”, Suguru mumbled, not seeming to care about the children that he put in danger. 

“I can't believe you.”, you hissed under your breath,”Do you have any last words?”

You were bluffing. Both you and Suguru knew that you couldn't kill him. For once you had used up too much of your cursed energy in the fight at Shinjuku and secondly, you knew that you could never work up the courage to kill the man you once loved, maybe still did. 

Nevertheless, Suguru decided to answer like you were in fact about to kill him:”No matter what anyone says, I hate those monkeys. But I never held any hatred for those in Jujutsu High. I just couldn´t wear a heartfelt smile in this world.” 

You only looked at him for a couple of seconds before deciding on your answer. You took a few steps forward, kneeling in front of him. You trusted that he wouldn't try to harm you in any way. That at least a small part of him that loved you, was still there.

“Suguru.”, you finally said. A newfound calmness in your voice, that even surprised the man in front of you. His head shot up, his big eyes looking at you expectantly. But you only smiled at him, raising your hand to softly caress his face. Suguru breathed in deeply before finally leaning into your touch.

“Like old times, eh?”, he asked, now also smiling. “Oh, Su. I wish it was. Believe me, I do.”, you mumbled, the smile on your face fading,”You remember the day where you kissed me for the first time?”

“As clear as day.”, he immediately answered. 

You thought it would be easy. You always did. After all, you had Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru at your side. Apart from your own skills as a Jujutsu Sorcerer. If you even added Shoko Ieiri to the picture, you were basically unstoppable. But unfortunately, you were rarely sent in groups of four, so you were stuck with the two men at an abandoned Villa right now. 

More specifically, you ended up leaning against a wall, with a massive hole in your chest, trying not to bleed out. It was only now that you realized how smart this cursed spirit was. It had forced you to split up from each other and with the help of a partly executed domain expansion, it was able to lure you deeper into it´s trap, until it had worn you out enough to land a fateful blow on you.At this point, you could only hope that Suguru and Satoru were alright. You were almost sure that Satoru was already on his way to find you and Suguru. His technique made him almost invincible. 

“Ah…fuck.”, you mumbled, as you came to a sudden halt. Your vision was getting blurry and you weren't sure if you could keep walking forward. Looking back, you saw the dark red splotches of Blood you had left behind on the floor and wall.You tried to pull yourself together to keep going forward. You had already tried to conduct cursed energy towards your wound, to keep it from bleeding too much. But you were already on edge, your cursed energy was about to run out and the fact that you were on the verge of dying didn't make anything better. 

"Y/N?! Are you there!?”

Your head shot up, upon hearing Suguru´s voice. A small spark of hope bloomed inside of you, causing your body to start moving again. You slowly stepped forward again, trying to reach the hall that was laying in front of you.

“Su-Suguru?!”, you tried to yell, but immediately doubled over in pain.“Y/N? Where are you?”, you heard him ask again. 

You continued to stumble forward, until your legs finally gave in. With a thud you landed on the wooden floor. The impact knocking the air out of your lungs. A few coughs left your lips, as you tried to push yourself up again, but it was useless. If Suguru or Satoru couldn´t find you, you would die at this place.

“Y/N!!”

You looked up and there he was. The boy you were madly in love with, but were too shy to ever tell him.

“Su…”, you mumbled, paying the nickname no further thought, as he sprinted over to you.  Without hesitation, Suguru lifted your head onto his lap, pulling your body closer to his.

“What did you get yourself into again, Y/N?”, he mumbled, as he put his hand on top of your wound. You gasped, as you felt how he sent cursed energy through your body, helping you to deal with the blood loss.

“I knew that you'd come and save me”, you smiled,”My knight in shining armor.”

You saw how Suguru´s cheeks slightly reddened, as he glanced away for a second, probably scanning the room for any cursed spirits.

“That would probably be Satoru, don´t you think?”, he finally said, looking back down at you.

“No.”, you said, without thinking,”It's always been you, Su.”

Suguru´s eyes widened as he realized what you meant, but it was too late. He didn't have time to answer, as you already slipped into Unconsciousness.

“No! Y/N!? Wake up! Come on, you have to stay awake for me!!”, was all that Satoru heard, as he finally found Suguru, holding your unconscious body.

It took you longer to wake up than Suguru could handle. He was at your side day and night. Basically neglecting himself entirely. So, naturally, you had to wake up after Shoko sent him away to get a shower and a proper night of sleep. 

He made his way to you, almost instantly after Satoru scrambled into his room to tell him the good news. The white haired man had of course talked with you before. Obviously making sure you were okay, you were one of his closest friends after all. But he also told you how Suguru had acted after you lost your Consciousness. The way he never left your side, until Shoko had kicked him out of your room.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”, was the first thing Suguru said upon entering your room. You were sitting on your bed, eying him carefully. He didn't wear his uniform, but instead was clothed into a black jumper and sweatpants. His hair was slightly disheveled but apart from that, it looked like it always did. The most obvious thing were the dark circles under his eyes that betrayed him. 

“I'm alright.”, you finally said,”Thank you for saving me, Suguru.”

He visibly relaxed at your words, as he finally walked over to you, sitting down on the bed next to your smaller form.

“You scared the shit out of me.”, he admitted, after a few seconds of silence.

“I´m sorry.”, you mumbled, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

You felt how Suguru carefully put his arm around you:”Don't be. You're alive, that's all that matters.”

“I…I have to tell you something.”, you stuttered, looking up at him. His brown eyes lingered on you lovingly.

“It´s okay.”, he smiled,”I know, my love.”

The nickname made your heart skip a beat, as he softly grasped your face, caressing your cheek lovingly. You felt the warmth of his body next to you, his shallow breath on your skin and you swore, you could almost hear his heart beating as loud as your own.

“Can I kiss you?”, he finally asked, his gaze shifting from your eyes towards your lips.

“Please.”, you said, before his lips collided with yours. The kiss was sweet and short, but emotional. You could feel how relieved Suguru was to have you back. That you were alive and breathing. 

“I'm never going to let anything happen to you again.”, he mumbled against your lips, after you parted. A small smile made its way onto your face:”Same goes for you.”

He chuckled at your words. You never talked about it, but you knew that he was by far

stronger than you.

Instead of saying anything, Suguru chose to simply kiss you again.

“It could be like that again.”, Suguru mumbled, putting his hand on top of yours,”Just you and me against the rest of the world.”

“You know it will never be like that again.”, you mumbled,”Not after what you did.”

“Please my love”, he begged, squeezing your hand,”After everything I did in my life, leaving you behind is the only thing I regret.”

“I know, Su.”, you said, trying to keep your emotions at bay,”But I can never join you. I could never help you do such cruel things.”

A short silence came up between you two, before you decided on your next words.

“My eyes see Suguru Geto in front of me. But my heart knows that he is not the Man I once loved.”

You watched as a sad smile formed on Suguru´s face, as his hand, that was previously holding yours, fell to the ground. “Then allow me to ask you for one last thing.”, he muttered, his eyes focused on the ground.

You only nodded, awaiting his request.

“Please, my love. Allow me to kiss you one last time, before we part ways forever.”, he quietly asked.

This time, you couldn't help the tears that rolled down your face, as you leaned forward to connect your lips with his. You tasted blood on him, a sign that he was severely hit this time. But you also felt his passion. He knew that this was the end, so he poured everything he had into this one last kiss.And so did you.

And then the moment ended.

You parted from him and immediately rose back to your feet again. You looked down on him one last time, before you turned around to find your students.

“Goodbye, Suguru.”

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