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normals childhoods don’t exist. parents break up. dogs die. houses burn. friends betray. money runs out.
my brothers are not my blood, but they are mine. we have been through tragedy and triumph together. they have been my shoulder to cry on, and i have wiped away many of their tears myself. my soul will always be tied with theirs.
i love my found family with every fiber of my being. they know the hues and textures of my soul, just as i know their’s.
as i watched my best friend hug her boyfriend today, i saw new love floating in her eyes.
i only write to distract my self from my own self-destructive behavior.
i will die trying to prove my critics wrong.
california’s burning down but all people care about is putting videos of the flames over trending audio for a couple bucks.
”how did you fall in love with him?”
“a hundred days of longing.”
i am here. just that. that all i am now.
is my smudged mascara, black mini skirt, bruised knees, red eyes, hungover state aesthetic enough for you?
screaming must be your love language. because you love me but you scream at me every time i blink.
for christmas i got a mind full of rage and a body labeled as a sex object. i guess i was worse this year than i thought.
do you think he’ll fall for frank sinatra at full volume and being wine drunk by 10am?
i will continue screaming at the sky until it can match the rage coursing through my veins.
as the dust settles, all i see is a mutilated version of who i used to be.
i yell at my mother with her same ruthlessness and out-argue my father with his same logic.
i’ll run away from you my whole life if i have to.
i’m suffering. sinking into the furthest depths of misery. and yet it feels holy.
the rage in me has made my humanity scarce. i will not be quiet about it.
i am so terribly sad. someone must be watching the movie of my life for a good cry.
i hope you find your soulmate in this lifetime. my knees are bruised from praying that it’s me.
the taste of tragedy is so fresh on my tongue. i believe the aftertaste shall linger forever.
peace is white like my dress. i just wish my dress didn’t have those horrific blood stains.