Mommy Issues - Blog Posts

not an adult but this is so accurate

Dear mother

I can't tell if my grief is caused by the past you went through or the past you made me go through. In the end, my heart refused to condemn you and has condemned itself. We are both two little girls who have survived violence, unfairness, and so much pain. In your eyes, I see your blood covering your body, and in my own eyes, I see you sending me love in the most violent way because you simply never received it. The memory of me sitting on your lap will never leave my head; we were looking out the window, watching life outside behind the glass, while we were stuck in that sort of prison. Still, I hate the idea of victimizing ourselves, but to me, we are true survivors. Dear mother, forgive me for hating the old angry version of you; the little girl I was invented that kind of self-defense mechanism to protect herself. She couldn't afford to lose herself in your hands; she only wanted to be saved. Mom, instead of succumbing to my deep desire to end my own life, I chose to survive for you. So, I forgive you, Mother. Please accept my apology.

how i look in public trying to order my own food (,,>﹏<,,)

𝓜e ୨୧

05/19/2025

I hate being back home. Every year I’m reminded why I don’t like summer. Schools not in session so there’s no way to be away from and be distracted by my friends and school work. I have two brothers who are perfectly capable of cleaning and helping around the house. Yet, I’m the only one who is constantly asked to do things and it’s soul breaking. I have to do the dishes, take care of my younger brother, drive people places, go to the grocery store, help cook dinner. And I’m barely allowed out the house. I can’t go out more than two days in a row. I have to do all these things whilst also having a job and having an online class. There’s no reprieve. Yet, I feel guilty for wanting to complain about all that has been thrust upon me. I wish my mom were still alive. I wish my dad wasn’t constantly swamped by work. I wish my brothers would do what they need to. I wish I never lived here.

I did not grow up in the cult of religion i grew up in the cult of my mother.🌹-anon

they should invent parents that aren't either mad at you or disappointed in you

TW: abuse

I don't know if this makes sense, but I sometimes imagine that all this shit I went through happened to someone else.Because then its not some personal thing that I hold close to myself.After all,if it didn't even happen to me,than why should I care that much?Its like a way for me to think about it without actually thinking about it,which probably does not make sense to anyone reading this.

But then I suddenly snap back to reality,and I'm like,Damn...that actually happened to me? That is so fucking messed up.

TW: abuse

I was just a kid.

TW: abuse

Now that I'm older,I've been looking back on what my mother has done.I've been aware of how she's verbally,emotionally,mentally,and physically abused me.But I'm starting to see signs that she's sexually abused me as well.Just certain little memories,as well as memory gaps,are starting to shape together into this horrifying discovery.I don't know if I'm simply being paranoid,but...its just so much evidence pointing to it that I've never realized before.Its freaking me out.And it might explain why my way of coping was different from my siblings.

TW: abuse

My mother is a piece of shit,but everything she's ever done has been calculated.Twisted to fit her narcissistic agenda.However,this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen her do.For the camp I'm going to,you can get a sweatshirt,but it costs money.My mother is supposed to pay for camp stuff.She always tries to get out of paying for stuff.The way you get the sweatshirt is with a form you fill out online.And my mother sent my father a TEXT -which,btw, you need internet to send- that she didn't have internet to fill out the form.

🤦

I literally laughed so hard at her stupidity that I cried,I'm not exaggerating. And I'd just like to mention that laughing at your abuser for doing dumb shit is downright liberating.Just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.Does that make me a bad person?I dunno,I just can't help it.She's so stupid😂

I have a physical therapy appointment tomorrow for the concussion.My dad is coming,and my mother wants to come also.Fucking bitch.I hate her.Why does she have to keep bothering me?Can't she just leave me the fuck alone already?

TW: abuse

I just want to say : Child Protective Services is bullshit.They came to my mother house ,what was it,4 times?Maybe 5?And apparently,THROWING YOUR CHILD-AS IN TOSSING THEM IN THE AIR ACROSS THE ROOM TO THE GROUND ON PURPOSE-IS NOT CLEARLY STATED TO BE ILLEGAL,AND THERE FORE IS NOT ABUSE.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Oh,and obviously you should talk privately to the person accused of abusing someone first,before the ones actually being abused.And then not agree to talk with the children privately when their mother is sitting right there.Plus,its for sure smart that after hours of arguing when you finally do agree to talk privately, you tell the abuser everything the victim has said right before you leave.Right?Just absolute ✨Genius✨.

CPS needs to get their fucking act together.They made mine and my siblings situation even WORSE than before they came.

Please don't hate on or report me,I just need somewhere to put my angsty stuff.

TW: abuse

Okay,what the fuck.I just saw a comment someone made about a post that was a vent about abuse.The post was saying how they recognize that their father was an abuser,and so they have no obligation to value him as anything but a life giver.And this comment was like: 'Well there's a difference between accepting someone as a human being and excepting abuse.'

I'm sorry,but that is so incredibly fucked up.Its not like its 2 separate people or something.Abusing a child goes against the CRC.The CRC is the most humane rights.An abuser denies the victim human rights,making them deny not just the child's humanity, but their own as well.Which makes them not a human being after all.

Not to mention,why the fuck are people telling others how to live with their own abuse?Everyone's situation is different.And its nobody's fucking business if you want to cut contact.

By the way,this doesn't just apply to child abuse.I'm just using that as an example,because its the specific type of abuse that I went through myself.

Please don't hate on or report me,I just need somewhere to put my angsty stuff.

TW: abuse

The worst part is the guilt.The nights when you lay awake in bed,wondering what you could have done differently.After all,it was all your fault,right?

That's what a narcissistic abuser does to you.They manipulate you.And before you know it,you'll be questioning everything.

So much so,that you begin to wonder if they're actually manipulating you,or if they're just right,and you're simply to blind to see it.

That's how it works.

Please don't hate on or report me, I just need somewhere to put my angsty stuff.

TW: child abuse

I have 3 older siblings.We all used to live with my abusive mother before my dad managed to get custody of us after YEARS of fighting to get us out of her house. Obviously,we were all affected in some way.But its different for me.I don't know how to explain it.None of my siblings feel this way.They're all moving on,brushing off years of abuse like its nothing.But I'm stuck.And I can't say anything,because they don't have this problem,so they wouldn't understand or believe me.Not just that,but I'm the youngest.Which means that I've lived with her for a shorter amount of time compared to my siblings.But at the same time,I grew up with her, and they had to deal with her as teenagers.Yes,that's also horrible.But it was horrible to not understand what was happening as my family was falling apart because no one would explain these things to me,especially because at the same time I was also getting abused by a complete narcissist.Because I was so young.To put things into perspective,I lived with her for the first 12 years of my life.

Being like this when no one else is makes me feel like a freak.I have no right to feel like this way.Not to mention that I deserved some of the stuff she's done to me.I'm a terrible person.No one should be burdened with having me as their daughter.In fact,I feel guilty that I'm affected at all,let alone like this.

Please don't hate on or report me,I just need somewhere to put my angsty stuff.

Concussion=can't walk normally+nausea+headache/migraine+dizzy/lightheaded=no school=make up work=absurdly high amounts of stress.Which is fucking ironic,because I'm staying home for the purpose of ✨Rest and Relaxation✨.Like,how am I supposed to chill when I know I have make up work l need to do.Especially because a certain someone - *cough*my mother*cough*-made me have this silly little mindset where grades=worth.In other words,me getting less than 100 on a test,which could mean a literal fucking 99,means I'm a failure.So yeah,I fucking hate the way the school system is set up.I feel like school itself isn't a bad concept,but the way it was developed and the way its evolved made it a fucking mightmare.

Please don't hate on or report me, I just need somewhere to put my angsty stuff.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a sparkly day/afternoon/night❤

TW: sorta a vent?

All my friends are talking about mothers day.Whenever its brought up,I'm just like: Seriously? Right here,right now?

I definitely don't celebrate mothers day.I haven't in YEARS.I do celebrate fathers day though.I wish that there was something like divorced parents day,for those us don't necessarily live with both parents,or have a good relationship,or cut contact, or their parents just aren't together.I feel super alone,because none of my friends have divorced parents.

Please don't hate on or report me,I just need somewhere to put my angsty stuff.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a dreamy day/afternoon/night❤

Being a girl in this timeline is so weird. What do you mean my own mother sends me andrew tate Clips?

Apparently, he will help me get my life together and get married early....the fuck

for the first time in my entire life, my mum has gone to bed without telling me she loves me ˖º·

i have both mummy and daddy issues, does that make me a red flag or does it make me more intriguing