Courage - Blog Posts

Something I heard this week:

It is not the thing we want that's going to bring us happiness. After we get the thing and we are no longer wanting- that's what brings us happiness. "The No Longer Wanting of it."

So once you no longer want something you are content and in that contentness there is happiness. 🌻

It's not the time passing that you should be worried about but what you choose to do with that time and who you choose to be.

Today I was saying out my desire to the ether and I realised how uncomfortable I am in vocalising my desires out loud. It felt so uncomfortable in my body - in my chest and throat I could just feel this restriction of not being able to my desires out loud.

It just made me feel sad for my younger self for never feeling free and safe enough to voice out my desires and opinions. But now that I am aware of this I can now choose to be the version of my self that creates that safety and freedom for me. It's safe for me to vocalise my desires with ease.

It's okay to start again because this time you are starting from experience. there is nothing wrong with starting over in order to build stronger foundations.

It's almost June and it will be a year since I had decided to start taking walks in my neighborhood and I thought to share the stories from strangers I have met on my walking journey

- One, was an elderly lady who had a daughter that was my age - who had come from a different part of town to find the electricity committee centre in our area. At the end of the walk she even gave me money to thank me for escorting her.

- The other time I came across a high school student, who was on her way to school to fetch her cousins. On that day she was she was dressed in clothes and she was a bit nervous that her schoolmates would judge her attire since everyone would be wearing school uniform. So I offered to walk with her until we parted ways when she saw her cousins. That experience just made me reflect on how when we are still in school - the school community becomes our whole world. Our peers' judgements and opinions seem to matter very much until we leave school and realise it didn't matter at all.

- Another time I came across a university student who was studying architecture - he was telling me about how he couldn't wait to finish his degree so that he could start making money and support his family since the pressure at home was becoming too much for him.

Yesterday was a public holiday - Worker's day to be exact. So this holiday happened to fall on a Thursday and my sister was complaining about how it was such a bummer that the public holiday fell in the middle of the week instead of it being on a Monday or Friday.

So this just had me thinking on how we as people are always quick to complain even if we receive blessings in our lives.

Sometimes we don't even notice those blessings because they weren't to our expectations or that they weren't good enough for us. So just something I was pondering that just by changing your perspective on something, you can change how you experience life.

Life is sweeter when it is filled with moments of gratitude.

She said the rooster is the very first one on the farm to understand that darkness is the beginning of light.

Just when the night can't get any darker, in that split second, a millisecond after it's the darkest it can be, the rooster crows.

Be like a rooster. Wait for the light. It will come; it will arrive without fail. Trust and believe.

From Book: Abundant Ever After by Cathy Heller

One thing I've been insecure about for most of my life is my tummy. My fat tummy. Cause that's what it is - fat.

Most of the time, I suck it in to the point where people even compliment me on my "flat" stomach and in my head I'll be like "if only you knew"

Anyway, today I took a visit to the doctor and I was seated in the reception area, across from me sat a girl around me age wearing a crop top. That crop top was revealing her stomach. Her fat stomach but she wasn't even bothered at all. For her, it was completely normal.

And because of that experience I've began to fully accept this part of me. The stomach I don't see as nice. I've decided to accept my stomach for what it is.

I've decided to appreciate my stomach for all the digesting and detoxing that it has done for me.

I'm slowly learning to love my stomach by looking in the mirror and hugging it and also speaking positive affirmations and being grateful that I am healthy because of it.

How I dealt with a limiting belief I've been struggling with- Part 1:

1. Identify the feeling associated with the limiting belief. (For me, the feeling of fear was behind the limiting belief)

2. Notice where in the body you feel it. (I could feel this fear mainly in my legs and stomach)

3. Feel deeply into the feeling. In order for me to deeply feel into the feeling, I started thinking of the limiting thoughts I think which automatically triggered the feeling of fear. And the more I felt into it - the more the feeling rose. It to more and more intense and then eventually it started to dissipate. And I started to feel less and less uncomfortable.

What does shame feel like?

Shame feels like hiding

Shame feels like not wanting to be seen, heard or understood for fear of being judged

Shame feels like wanting to hide in a hole where no one will find you

Shame feels like preferring to be invisible

Shame feels like not belonging

Shame feels like wanting to run away and to never be found

Shame feels like being disgusted by yourself

Shame feels like wanting to be someone else

It feels like you're not as worthy as everyone else

Shame feels like wanting to deny a part of your identity

Resilience

Resilience looks like trying again and again regardless of the outcome you're currently getting.

Resilience is choosing to ignore the naysayers and staying focused on your vision until it comes to life.

Resilience is getting up early and showing up for your dream even if you don't feel like it.

Resilience is doing that uncomfortable thing over and over until it becomes second nature.

Resilience is facing fear over and over until you become the best of friends.

Resilience is making the choice to consistently transforming your mind from a negative mindset to a better state of mind.

Resilience is giving your utmost best even though you are at your lowest point.

Resilience is constantly reminding yourself of why you started to begin with.

Resilience is choosing to show up for your future self.

It is choosing to see the starts in the darkest of nights.

Resilience is knowing the importance of the goal but focusing on the process instead.

Lately I've been wondering about what to work towards for 2025 and I came to the realisation that we are always doing this - working towards a future goal to attain something, to have more or to be a better version of ourselves.

And i started asking myself - "does it ever end?"

When does all this striving eventually stop. When do we finally come to a point where we decide that enough is enough. Does it not get tiring, always living for a future outcome. Are we ever going to be content with what we have?

Yes, the world is changing and yes we have to prepare ourselves but to what point?

Because if we are going to be honest with ourselves, it's no longer about happiness. We've just gotten to a point where it's about feeding our emptiness because all that striving is surely not going to make us happy because we would've already been happy by now.

But also this concept we call happiness doesn't seem to last forever, so how about we choose to be content. And im sure happiness will come find us every once in a while.

People are not against you, they are for themselves.

Sometimes we feel like certain people always think or want the worst for us and we couldn't be more wrong. Every person you know or have come across has a different version of you in their head and based on that, it makes perfect sense that they are going to project onto you the things they assume about you. The same way you project onto people the illusion you have of them in your head.

So the point is don't take it personally. Deep down people don't even know you unless they have actually taken the time to really get to know you and those aren't a lot of people.

The best thing you can do is be true to yourself - be true to your values, your interests, dreams and the kind of person you want to be. Because you cannot please both others and yourself. One side is bound to get betrayed and that's okay.

So let go of trying to make other people understand because they might not even be interested in understanding you. They are still fixated on the version of you they curated in their heads. And they are probably not ready to understand you. Maybe one day they will but in the meantime focus on the vision that is you!

The Future

A point in time

It could mean tomorrow, next week or next year

It could be in a decade, a millennium or even the next life

Some say the future looks bright

Others say it looks bleak

At the end of the day, it’s all about doing what is right

The past, the present and the future are connected

But to change the future, it all depends on what is done today

What other people are doing is not as important as what action you’re choosing to take

The future may seem far but it’s as close as tomorrow

The future

Some say AI will take over

Others say the world would’ve ended by then

It’s not only about you and I but generations to come

What kind of world are we choosing to leave for them?

Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere

But no one is stopping to even ask

Where it is we are going

Everyone is busy hustling in the name of achieving success and wanting more

But how much is enough?

Do we even know what we value?

Or it’s just a matter of gaining more and more

The future

Some say it looks bleak

Others say it looks bright

But I say the future looks beautiful

Not only because I choose to believe that it is

But because I am deciding that it is so.

What matters is asking yourself:

If you’ve taken one small action in changing your part of the world today

May we not give up just because it may seem bleak

May we choose to focus on the light that we can see.

There are times when I want to apologize to my body.

Times when I choose to eat sweet and dry foods knowing they aren't good for my digestive system.

Times when I add another spoonful of sugar in my tea because it just doesn't taste sweet enough.

The times when I react and don't take the time to tune into my body and feel if I really want to eat something rather than eating just because everyone around me is eating.

There are times when I want to apologize to my body.

The times when I postpone my exercise because I don't feel like it even though it feels great when I move my body.

The times when I skip my daily walk even though I enjoy the smell of pine trees I pass along the way.

The times when I choose to listen to an additional podcast episode fully knowing in that moment my body just wants silence and stillness.

The times when I entertain the negative thoughts when there are ten other positive things I could focus on.

The times when I can choose to sit outside and listen to the birds rather than doomscroll on the socials.

There are times when I want to apologize to my body but I don't because what's the point of an apology without changed behaviour.

I am tired of wanting to apologize to my body because now I want to show my body it can trust me the way I've always trusted it.

I am tired of wanting to apologize to my body because now I am deciding to not be that person anymore.

I want to show my body I can be a good steward of this beautiful vessel.

_Do you ever wonder?_

Do you ever wonder what your tomorrow will look like?

Will you still hear the birds squeak in the early mornings?

Will you still hear the sound of the wind in you ears?

Will you still enjoy the warmth of the sun's rays?

Will you still feel the air reaching deep into your lungs?

Will you still enjoy that one song that speaks to your soul.

Or would you have moved onto something new to enjoy?

What does peace feel like?

- Peace feels like spending hours and hours just gazing at the clouds passing by.

- Peace feels like that warm heat that permeates your clothes while you are enjoying the sunshine

- Peace feels like being held and supported by Mother Earth while you're tending to your garden plants.

- Peace feels like being in your flow while you're writing that funny but beautiful poem

- Peace feels like being full of nostalgia while reminiscing about your past friendships and adventures

- Peace feels like that right sour taste of grapefruit going down your throat

- Peace feels like watching birds painting themselves on a blank canvas that is the sky

- Peace feels like being in a quiet house whilst listening to the dogs barking outside

- Peace feels like going to bed late on a Friday night knowing there's no need to wake up early tomorrow

- Peace feels like being happy at any moment because all your needs are met

- Peace feels like home

I've made peace with that....

- I've made peace with the fact that people have different perceptions of life and that their projections have nothing to do with me but their own personal struggles.

- I've made peace with the fact that one will not always be compatible with other people because how we do things is just different and you can not please everyone nor are you here to do so.

- I've made peace with the fact that one will not always stay permanent in other people's lives, so while you're still present make it your mission to have the best of memories to look back to.

- I've made peace with the fact that home for some is us is not a place or person but more like a state of flow that we experience when we get in touch with our creative selves.

- I've made peace with the fact that society will always have its own standards that people are supposed to live up to buy whether you follow those standards or not - that does not define your worth.

- I've made peace with the fact that our favourite things or people will always change because that shows we are growing and each level of growth requires us to leave a part of us behind.

- I've made peace with the fact that everyone experiences different seasons of life and that one should stop comparing their winter to someone's summer because our journeys are different and that's a beautiful thing.

- I've made peace with the fact that the dark moments of life aren't there to torment us but are there to teach us something that will enable our growth as human beings.

- I've made peace with all that.

Part 2 of lessons I've learnt in the past year.

Last lesson: Opening my heart and forgiving others.

I had been revisiting my intentions on who I want to be. One of those intentions was to be a more loving person, not just to my family and friends but to people who have wronged me as well.

And so I am choosing to be a more loving through by opening my heart and forgiving others. An example of how I approached this was as follows:

So I had not been getting along with this particular person and so in every situation and interaction with them, I would just decide to be closed of in order to "protect myself".

Since I had decide to be more loving, I chose to forgive them. I chose to approach them different. So in each interaction with them, I decided to be more open and understanding towards them. I would go into these interactions with no assumptions, expectations or feelings of resentment but with the heart to listen and fully understand that person.

And doing so has done wonders for me. This person was also willing to be understanding towards me . Of course, we're not the best of friends but there is now a lightness to our interactions and I think that's beautiful. Sometimes you just have to be the first person to forgive and you never know how that transforms your relationships.

It's been a minute. So last week was my 24th birthday and I was doing some reflecting and I thought to share three lessons I've come to learn during the past year:

Lesson 1: Having a someone to talk to.

I have come to realise how it is so important to have someone to communicate with especially when you are going through a difficult time. This could be a friend, relative, mentor. Like just someone you can trust. Yes they may be able to offer you a listening ear which may lighten your burden but they can also help you shift your perspective on how you might be viewing a particular situation. Together you might be able to come up with different solutions to dealing with the situation in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Doing this not only helps you through the tough times but it also helps deepen the relationship you have with that person.

Sometimes people do want to help and you might not know how they feel but you deciding to tell them also means you trust them. And there is no better feeling that being trusted by someone.

Lesson 2: Letting people go with honesty

There are times in your friendships where things are just stagnant and you're only keeping in touch because you once attended the same school or university together. Or maybe one of you moved to a different area and you no longer meet as frequently and as time goes on the communication and connection fizzles out. You know you were really great friends but things just aren't the same and in some way you are outgrowing each other.

I've come to realise that in such situations it is better to let that person go. Of course, this is not about ghosting them and hoping they get the message but by also being truthful with them and telling them how you really feel. For me the honest truth was letting them know that friendship has reached it's end, the journey was beautiful and I'll forever cherish the beautiful memories we shared together but stagnancy isn't helping anyone.

This might feel very uncomfortable but it's necessary not only for you but for the other person too. By letting each other go, you are making space for more aligned friendships to come through.

What does the process to an outcome normally look like? If I look back on my past experienc

es, on things that I managed to achieve, there was an element of curiosity and fun to it.

Until the novelty wore off and things go hard. And during those moments that's when you ask yourself why you started to begin with? What would happen if you don't give up? And what kind of character are you choosing to portray in this part of your story?📖📖

Like if you look at your favourite show, the ending wouldn't be that satisfying without the ups and downs that the characters face. And sometimes the show is so good you don't want it to end.

Of course, there are times when you decide to take a break to rest and re-centre yourself. And there are times when you choose to give it all up because it's no longer aligned with the goal you had in mind. But it's all about taking note of your patterns when you are in that "hard/difficult" phase.

Do you start procrastinating. Do you move on to a new project or do you choose to forget about the task all together?

Normally this is where your character is being tested.

So if you need to go on your knees and ask God for strength, do so. If you need to cry it out and call friend do so. If you need to watch a motivational video - do what you need to in order to move forward and keep the momentum.

Because it's in that phase that growth happens because now you are surpassing your limits. You are getting that character development which takes you to the next level.❇️💯

So fall in love with that process because that's the most beautiful and impactful part of the journey. Make sure you're having fun even in the midst of difficulties cause at some point,it's gonna have to end and the ending has to be just as beautiful. It's the messy middle that we need to learn how to master so that we reach the beautiful ending. 🪷🪷

So yesterday I was watching this video whereby this content creator was speaking about how we should stop bringing the energy of decisions into making choices. She spoke about how people can't even make a simple choice because they are so focused the importance of it because their mind focuses on whether they are making the right or wrong decision. ❌✅

She gave an example of how you can make a choice to attend an event but after experiencing it you then make the decision to leave cause maybe it was boring.

So in order to decide, first make a choice, have the experience and make a decision.

So google says when making a choice we are given the freedom to explore alternatives and choose what will make us happy whereas when making a decision, we are presented with options whose outcomes have been predetermined. Choice connects us to our desired intentions, values and beliefs whereas decisions are connected to places of behaviour, performances and consequences.

I remember when I was still in primary, during athletics season - we had all these different activities that we could try. So we had a choice in choosing what activities to try but at the end of the day you had to make a decision as to which one you would join.

Obviously you make that decision after having experienced all the activities. So by making the decision, you now already know the predetermined outcome which is you coming to practice high jump or sprints for as long as you're part of the team.👟🎽

So with choices it's more experimental and with decisions it gets serious. So the point is stop bring that serious energy into something that's supposed to be a fun experience. Think of making a choice as tasting and making a decision as eating. 🍽️😋🍔

Ever wore an item of clothing that was just too small for you? Like a small jacket or jeans that were just too tight? With every move you make, you can sense that tightness, that feeling of discomfort. And no one likes being uncomfortable. And in order to be comfortable again, we need to remove that small jacket and put on a more comfy one.🧥👖

Physical discomfort is one thing but emotional discomfort is some totally different. It's not like we can just remove that uncomfortable emotion and replace it with a more comfy emotion. Since we can't do that, most of us end numbing that emotion in order to get comfortable again. Sadly that doesn't remove the discomfort but rather just covers it up until it shows up again. And when it does come up again, we numb it with emotional eating, drinking, shopping and doomscrolling on the socials. 😮‍💨🍺

But the thing with emotions is that they need to be felt. At first it may be hard because feeling that emotion pain is just too uncomfortable. But the deeper you feel into it, the less uncomfortable it becomes. You might have to do it multiple times but eventually it subsides and sometimes even disappear.

So think of a child coming to you crying and telling you that they feel sad or upset about something. We don't tell the child to go shopping, to scroll on social media, to drink or smoke so that the pain goes away. We allow the child to cry, we give them a hug and we tell them it's gonna get better and they are going to be okay. 🌸🌸

So what normally helps me during those times of emotional discomfort is sitting with myself and acknowledging what I feel. Then I communicate with myself - telling myself that I feel sad, angry or in pain but I know it's temporary. I ask my body what's trying to tell me. Other times I go on a walk and just talk to the part of me that is in pain.

And the more I do that - the less uncomfortable that emotion becomes. 💨

It's about having that uncomfortable conversation with yourself. Sometimes we don't know why we feel the way we feel but we just have to feel the emotion. We owe it to our inner child to sit through that emotional discomfort with them and free ourselves. How do you normally deal with your emotional discomfort?

Self love letter

Dear Self

I often wondered what self love looked like or felt like and I think I am beginning to understand it.

To me, self love means having your own back, not just when everyone else has turned on you but at all times. It looks like trying one more time when it feels like you might even fail. Self love looks like showing up for that morning or evening exercise because you are grateful for what this beautiful body has done for you so you want to keep it healthy.

Self love looks like holding space for yourself when your emotions are all over the place. Allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel without judgement.

Self love means listening to when your body needs to slow down before you burn out. Taking the needed rest for it to come back stronger.

Self love looks like rewarding yourself for all the hardwork you've put in & for the days you chose to remain consistent even when it was so hard.

Self love looks like listening to music the whole day because that's what your soul needs at that moment.

Self love means saying no to things that don't bring you peace.

Self love means making sure that your cup is full - that way you have enough to be of help to others.

Self love means carving out time for being creative because your soul needs an outlet.

Self love means being aware of the things that make you tick and why it is so. It means giving yourself a pat on the back when you survived a situation you thought you wouldn't have.

Self love means pouring in yourself because you are the only person who's gonna live with you for the rest of your life. It means knowing yourself in a way that only you can.

Self love means loving on you because no one can ever love you the way you can. ❣️❣️

Ever found yourself in a situation where there is absolutely nothing you can do to change a situation. Like you have exhausted all the possibilities you can think of and still come to nothing and all you can do is overthink.

Overthinking about how the situation will pan out. How that situation will leave you stranded. How you are so uncertain that your mind is all over the place.

And when you are in that situation, you can't do anything, let alone think properly.

In my experience, what I've come to find out is that the best think you can do is acknowledge where you are. Acknowledge that you don't know what to do. Acknowledge that there is nothing you can do, like you have no control over the situation and make peace with that.

Sometimes we overthinking because of the uncertain future ahead of us. Overthinking helps us stay in control even if we aren't really in control.

Don't focus too much on what might or might not happen. Bring yourself back to the present moment and away from your mind. You can only focus on this current moment as that is all you're in control of. Once you're here - trust that it will all work out and everything is going to be okay. It's just a hurdle - and you've been through a lot of hurdles in your life even though they were difficult, so what's one more, right?

No amount of thinking can change the outcome of a situation. So save that energy for something peaceful, that fear and anxiety is not worth it. You are going to be okay.❤️🎀

Every single person you know or who knows you has a different perception of you in their head, so no matter how hard you try to be perceived a certain way, not everyone will view you as such.

*So why not be the version of you that soul's always wanted you to be ?*🌸☘️

As humans we are born with so much potential and then somewhere along the way society clips off our wings and still has the audacity to ask why we can't fly? 🧚‍♀️

Just read a story of how this one guy stopped writing because his high school teacher had told him that he'd never make it as a writer. Now he's become the best selling author of two books. 📖📕

We owe it to ourselves to go after the dreams other people think we couldn't achieve. Because how will you know if you don't try?🧩

Like Paulo Coelho said: "it's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting" 🎗️🏵️

Last night I came across a video on Instagram of this women who had decided to quit her job as a lawyer to be a barista. Which was a choice she was actually happy about. And so one day on the job one of her customers happened to be her ex - colleague who went on to ask : "do you work here now?" 👀

And she explained how in that moment she felt so ashamed and started thinking of ways to explain her situation in a way her ex-colleague could understand. Why she decided to work there and how happy that choice made her etc etc. 👣🗣️🙅‍♀️

*So this had me thinking about the courage it takes to go against the grain. The courage it takes to choose and take the path that feels true to you. The courage to be open to the criticism you will receive from people who might not understand you. The courage to choose authenticity every single time. It's not for the weak and if you're on this path, you have my respect. You owe it to yourself to see where this road will lead you.* ☘️🛣️

I truly believe that humans are born with confidence and then we lose it somewhere along the way. Through judgements, comparisons, being laughed at, etc. If we look at babies for example, I mean it sure takes a certain amount of confidence and courage to learn to walk among everyone else who can walk. Yet falling doesn't really bother them. They get up and try again and again.👶🏻🙈💫

And so one thing I have learnt when it comes to having confidence in oneself is through self-trust. But how can you trust yourself when you're constantly doubting yourself? 🤯😤🥺

And one way to build self-trust is by keeping the promises you made to yourself. If you told yourself you'll do something then go do it. And by compounding those kept promises, you become confident in yourself cause you know- you'll always show up no matter what. It may be messy, overwhelming, scary but you showed up for yourself. You trusted yourself enough to do something. And that's confidence.✨😃