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Bsd - Blog Posts
doodles
many doodles..
Dadmori has become an addiction
This is genuinely why there's no BSD character I 100% dislike. Everyone in BSD is portrayed in such a human way (even Fyodor and Nikolai). Personally, for me, it's what makes BSD very beautiful, in all the ugliness shown in the story and relationships. I find in some media that there's a narrative for certain characters being 'good' and some 'bad.' I'm not saying BSD has no protagonists or antagonists, I'm saying that BSD doesn't shy away from showing the character strengths and flaws of either. There isn't that much of a narrative going, 'Oh, you should like this character and dislike this one.' Tying back to OP, one amazing way BSD does this is how it portrays abuse.
Hi by the way I'm never going to not throw up when thinking about what BSD says about abusers and victims. Abuse can occur out of love or a desire to protect or save or help someone and it's still abuse. Abuse can occur and years later you will still feel the affects so deeply it's as if it's a part of your body. Your abuser can change and regret and sometimes that means you will walk away over and over and sometimes it means you will throw yourself at them over and over and both are because you never developed a sense of self beyond what they made you to be. Your abuser will die and you will cry and you will hate him and in your weakest moments his memory will be there. Your abuser will live and become a better person and you're still stuck there unable to move on. The sheer complexity of what it allows and asks of us - to understand that at the end of the day we're all people fucking each other up and making mistakes. No one is a monster and wouldn't it just be easier if we were?
I always read this as Mariah Carey going "it's TIIIIIIMEEE."
Idk why I needed to say that-
.....what. just what. The. Fuck.
Chapter 122 is so...bruh.
#Spoiler!!! #chapter 121.5
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#Spoiler #spoiler
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At this point i feel like its the book thats talking to atsushi.
Cuz im confused, but this may be due to the tiger thats with him, and plus we all know that the tigers an entity attached with/to the book. So my guess is that the book itself is talking to atsushi..? But the thing is why is he (dazai in the above photo) saying that atsushi knows what its actually like inside the space/realm? Is it something that...like? part of atsushis conscious is er with the book? And thats why he knows what its like inside the realm and that exactly why he is the only exception too?
And the last line, ' thats what you do when you want to experience the past'., it is saying that atsushi has already done this or encounter this before or just saying that?
Is it connected with the hallucination or visions that comes to him? Because the line, 'feel strongly', like when atsushi is in panic mode or something that when the past comes in, and well the emotions that he feels during those times are when he feeling heavily down or something because we have seen in the train part too when he was under control of Qs ability dazai had to slap him to slap him to snapout of it, he was having heavy feelings and than headmaster(who is from the past) comes in to mock him? (i think forgor).
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well I don't know thats just my theory/opinion or whatever you call it.
.....OH GOOD GOD! *DIES*
Oni Chuuya
Bsd 121 spoiler!
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...:]
(already warn ya)
Damn so like its just...im thinking what if ya'know what if atsushi having all this hallucinations or this imaginary visions was because byakko was actually talking to him?? I may be crazy but you know??? Like??? There is a possibility because she can't actually talk to him so instead she talks to him like this in the form of people he trust or in the case of the headmaster well its more like hes psychology damage fucked up a little bit you know? Or well since he(/the tiger) is the bookmark, as fyodor said, the book is like somehow talking to him?? Because you know its been mark in the middle page (like some theory out there that said 'the book' was actually the bsd book) and that since its been like monthly release its been pause?? And to pause is we need book marks! thats where the tiger or atsushi shows up! And idk its just shows him some pointer or some leads that heads to his desired(?) ending???
Or well could be his just hallucination. Idk i could be wrong(most probably)
Give me your opinions too!😭😭 what do you think this panel could mean?
(its just me posting for the First time and started yapping when im supposed to be asleep its 5 in the morning and sick! Yay me)
And i can't wait till next month. I have exams coming up!😭
i hold your head deep in my arms // dazai & ango sickfic drabble
originally posted on 7th jun 2024
warning for non-graphic vomiting
read on ao3! / 928 words
———————————————————————
dazai is sixteen, slumped over the toilet in the cramped bathroom of bar lupin. the light above his head flickers in a seemingly random way; combined with how much whiskey he had, it makes for an unsettling, almost ethereal experience.
his throat and nose burn. he’s barely eaten today, but his stomach is keen on removing every last drop of alcohol until he’s shivering and barely able to hold himself up.
his body crumples against the bathroom wall as if his head were a massive paperweight, barely having the sense to wipe his mouth with a clammy hand.
he thinks he’ll just fall asleep here. the poor soul tasked with closing the bar will find him eventually. kick him out. then he’ll stumble home, alone.
at first he thinks he’s hallucinating when a warm hand presses into his upper back, too drunk to tell left from right.
“are you done?” comes a quiet, hesitant voice. ango, dazai registers. ango has seen him like this before, only once or twice, though. he later explained that oda thought ango to be more of a comforting presence, so he’d always send ango to check on dazai instead.
dazai shrugs, unmoving. his eyes are shut, his breaths coming in soft pants.
ango frowns. he opens his mouth to say something else when, of course, dazai gags again. ango’s arm darts out to redirect dazai’s head back over to the toilet, the rest of his body soon following suit.
he throws up again. and again.
ango’s whole arm wraps around dazai’s smaller body, mostly to hold him upright, but also for an attempt at comfort. he doesn’t say anything. his own body is starting to droop sideways, as holding someone else up while tipsy is far from easy. ango only turns his head away and waits.
soon, there’s a break in the retching, and ango glances over again. he finds dazai trembling now, white-knuckling the edges of the toilet, saliva dripping from his lips. ango’s heart nearly stops.
he looks so tiny.
his hand moves on some instinct, brushing dazai’s dark, unkempt hair out of his face. he can’t read dazai’s expression thanks to the bandage over his eye, but he can guess at it.
and then dazai heaves again.
ango clicks his tongue, maneuvers himself so he can better hold dazai, then stops as he hears something else. a high-pitched, quiet sound that ango could have easily mistaken for a rat. his chest twists again.
dazai is only dry-heaving now, but he still looks to be in pain with every movement. his trembling is only worsening. then, just as ango brings a hand to his back, he hears dazai murmuring. “no more...”
ango had vowed to stay silent, not wanting to upset a drunk higher-up, but his mouth moves before his brain can catch up.
“it’s alright,” he mumbles. the hand on dazai’s back rubs in tiny circles. “you’re almost done.”
“it hurts...” dazai trails off into another weak gag. it sounds like he can’t get a deep breath in.
ango’s stomach drops as dazai progressively becomes more pathetic. he’s seen him be ill, but he’s also seen him laugh it off afterwards before promptly heading home for the night. ango didn’t even think dazai had it in him to be so… pitiful. his heart genuinely twists at the sight.
“i… i know it hurts.” a rather stupid thing to say, ango thinks, but whatever. “try and breathe for a moment.”
it takes him a few tries, but dazai slowly starts to calm down. he can hardly pull his head out of the toilet before immediately sagging against ango with his entire weight.
it’s warm. dazai can’t help but loosely wrap his arms around ango’s waist, burying his face into his chest.
oddly enough, ango had never really thought about dazai’s age too much. he was a mafia member and friends with oda somehow, and that’s what mattered to him. he didn’t need to know any more than that.
yet now, with slow arms coming to hold dazai’s shivering, thin, cold body, ango truly understands. this is a child.
“i’m here,” ango murmurs, holding dazai against him. he wants to warm him up at least a little bit before they leave.
—
dazai’s memory of this is fuzzy in the first place, but he can really hardly remember what happened afterwards. he thinks ango took him home that night, unsatisfied with letting him wander back to his shipping container alone.
the one thing he does remember is how it felt to share a bed with ango. the way dazai curled up against ango’s chest, ango’s warm, soothing hand in his hair. how warm dazai felt.
now, dazai is twenty-two. his phone buzzes for the fifth time in ten minutes; he knows it’s kunikida. he’s late for work.
dazai pulls his head out of the toilet bowl, leaning back against the wall with shaky limbs. his stomach is screaming at him.
in his delirium, he mistakes atsushi’s number for kunikida’s and punches out a short message, then tosses his phone aside.
he can’t walk. he knows he’ll throw up again, so he might as well stay in the bathroom. it isn’t like he’s planning to do anything else today.
he blinks wearily, eyes heavy with exhaustion as he stares at the tile. and just as he shuts his eyes, he hears that low, gentle voice.
it’s alright.
dazai smiles a little. he grabs a towel from the floor, wraps himself in it and curls up on the tile. he’s warm from fever.
i’m here.
FR CAUSE LOOK AT HIM he just looks like a silly little guy 😕
honestly sigma was valid id give into that too
LMAO
Dammit, Boss...
LMAO DAZAI JUST STARTS FREAKING THE GUCK OUT
chuuya "i won't elaborate" nakahara
These are absolutely recking me 😍
i can't take this anymore aaAA
Chuuya and Atsushi fill for Lithia18plus Thanks for donating! Carrd with more information bsdddaction Request form Form
Completed AU ref for Atsushi. Been a fun AU to work with, so I made a reference sheet for him.
Chapters: 3/? Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Karl (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Edgar Allan Poe-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs), Delusions, Overthinking, escaping reality, i may be projecting a bit in this- Summary:
basically poe mourns in a crazy way that is very much expected: recreating the deceased in his book :3
CHAPTER 3 OUT AND I FINALLY GOT STUFF TO HAPPEN :DDD ENJOY THE CHAPTER MY LOVELIES
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Edgar Allan Poe-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs) Summary:
basically poe mourns in a crazy way that is very much expected: recreating the deceased in his book :3
FIRST CHAPTER OF MY FIC IDEA LETS GOOOOOO i am still pretty new to posting on ao3 so pls bear with me and enjoy the first chapter :DD
i have a proposition for a bsd fic and i may or may not already be writing it
what if.. canon divergent au... ranpoe.... major character death... ranpo dies... poe mourns ranpo by creating a story where he lived instead.... traps himself in his book.... comes out 20 years later to see everyone else he knew either abandoned him or died too...
also i have no idea if this was done already, i came up with this idea while talking to a friend abt their experience with bsd so far, so if it sounds like i'm ripping off another fic i promise i'm not 😭😭
mori isn't evil. that's just what happens when you force a bottom to top an entire city.
rememeber. when nothing is wrong you can make it wrong. the power is yours to make the situation as terrible as possible. dont give in to the situation. change the outcome. from neutral to worst. be the worst case scenario you want to see in the world. i believe in you.
CAN I PLEASE BE ATSUSHI LIKE HOLY SHIT-
I WOULD JOIN YOU IN A HEARTBEAT DAMMIT UGHHH🙏🙏🙏
i've seen soutsuji get thrown around, which i'm pretty sure literally means double tsuji lol-
Is Ayatsuji and Tsujimura's ship name literally just Tsujitsuji?
the reasons why i fell in love with the both of them lmao-
THE PUBLIC PERCEPTION OF THE LORD OF CRIME PERSONA IS AKIN TO FYODOR, NOT WILLIAM HIMSELF.
[Seeing more people talk about this comparison between Fyodor and William again, had some of this in the drafts for a bit already lmao].
So I often see many people say that BSD Fyodor and MTP William have a similar vibe, and people have recently also been posting about their dislike of the idea too.
However I think Fyodor is more similar to that of the Lord of Crime persona the public see and not William himself. The Lord of Crime operates in a way where he is perceived to murder ruthlessly and have dubious morals - at first he is seen as a hero to the working class, but as he does more that disadvantages them he is seen as a threat to the whole empire (which he uses to unite the social classes). In essence, like Fyodor, the Lord of Crime is portrayed without a shred of kindness or sincerity or guilt - but that is not William.
William in the canon by his friends and family is known for his kindness and his empathy, so much so that he feels immense guilt over his horrific actions as the Lord of Crime which eventually pushed him to taking his own life to escape it. He is not devoid of empathy - in fact he is incredibly empathetic, almost too empathetic for himself to handle. And this is what solidifies the differences between Fyodor and William to me.
Fyodor has shown very little empathy for others in his history, more likely to simply use others to get what he wants and seemingly doesn't care about the effect it may have on that other person. Nikolai for example, even after being given understanding by Fyodor, was supposed to die after the events of Bloody Sunday, Fyodor using him as a disposable pawn in order to frame the agency. Sigma was given a home, a casino to run, but Fyodor was ready to get rid of him after it was investigated. Fukuchi, given a way to try and achieve his lifelong goal of world peace, was used as a pawn in creating the series of events where Fyodor could take over Bram (another pawn in his game considering he literally took his body from him after he just got it back) and now Fukuchi's consciousness is replaced by a Divine Being that Fyodor has control over. Fyodor is only empathetic when it can benefit him, and the benefits his faux empathy gives to those around him is eventually swept out from under them and manipulated to his advantage. He only improves other's lives just to take it away again.
Whilst William and Fyodor both do what they think benefits the world, William is shown to have genuine empathy for the common man - he often finds ways to help people like the children in Baskerville or other disadvantaged people. Whilst the Lord of Crime's support for equality may have been swept out from under the common people after the murder of Whiteley, William's support for the common people never changed. William always wanted to create permanent changes to benefit the lives of the people disadvantaged by the class system.
It is the public perception of the Lord of Crime, as this ruthless figure who wants to destroy the livelihoods of everyone in London, that is similar to the Fyodor we see.
[At first this was going to be a 'Lord of Crime is like Fyodor, William is more like Dazai' post but I wasn't sure about the Dazai idea or how to explain it so I just decided to stick with the Fyodor portion, how it at least makes a little sense.]
Well, I did start a blog here once before, but it didn't last even a couple of months before it was deleted for god knows what reason
let’s just remember some of my stuff here and move on as if nothing happened sigh
(reblogs of this post would be really appreciated 👁️)
ever since i interacted with this post, i get this in the recommended user feed. i feel blessed each time this comes up
I refuse to be silenced