Autistic Reader - Blog Posts

Let Me Help (Part 1)

A/N: I've been writing a lot of Jake recently, so I figured I'd switch it up a little, and write some Bradley for a change. Hope you enjoy. (Sorry the writing's a little clunky.)

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

Summary: You're injured, but you don't want to be seen as weak or incapable. Well, until you fall into the arms of a certain aviator.

Warnings/tags: Soft Bradley, lots and lots of fluff, some angst, reader is written as a WSO, crying, pining, mention of injuries, insecure reader

****************************************************

You don't see the step until you miss it, falling heavily to the ground.

Groaning softly, you roll over onto your back, trying to collect your thoughts. Your ankle's throbbing, and your hands are grazed, but fortunately, you don't feel any pain or swelling on your head.

Dragging yourself off the ground, you try and put some weight on your ankle. It hurts a lot, but it's not unbearable, and your ankle feels fairly stable, so you decide you'll just try and walk it off for now.

You're not going to tell anyone you're injured, of course.

Sure, the Dagger Squad all seem like nice people, for the most part (apart from Hangman, of course), but you don't know them that well, and you've no idea how they'll react to you being injured. You don't want to know how they'd react.

Especially Rooster.

You've been telling yourself for ages now that you do not have a crush on him. No, you just look up to him. After all, he's handsome, and nice, and you want to be friends with him. Just friends.

And you definitely do not have dreams about him taking care of you in this sort of situation. About him cuddling you while you cry on his shoulder. About him carrying you in his arms…

The thought of him finding you like this is enough to make you shudder.

What would he think of me? What would he say? Would he think I'm a weakling who can't take care of herself? Would he-

"Hey, C/S!"

You jump in fright at the sound of Bob's voice. "Oh! You scared me."

He gives you a funny look. "What are you doing hanging around the stairs? It's almost time for training."

"Oh, I - I must have lost track of time…" It's not a complete lie.

Bob doesn't look convinced. "I heard a crash a few minutes ago. Did you fall down the stairs?"

"No!" Seeing the look on Bob's face, you hastily amend your statement. "Well, yes. But I only grazed my hands. I'll be fine. Look, the skin isn't even broken."

You even hold out your hands for Bob to inspect, which he does with an extremely serious, focused look on his face.

Once he's satisfied that you're telling the truth, he lets your hands go. "Okay. Well, we'd better go to training."

You regretfully pull yourself away from the daydream you were having of Rooster inspecting your hands for grazes. "Oh. Yeah. Training. Right…"

"You sure you're okay?" asks Bob, as you walk down to the briefing room. "Sure you didn't hit your head or anything?"

"No. I - um - I guess falling down the stairs kind of rattled me. You know, it's just been so long since it last happened…"

You're still aimlessly rambling as you both enter the briefing room, but you fall silent the minute you notice Fanboy give you a funny look.

Looking around, you notice that most of the seats are taken.

Except for the one next to Rooster.

When he sees you, he smiles at you, and pats the seat next to him.

Blushing, you take it, sitting rather stiffly, partly because you're in such close proximity to him, and partly because your ankle really is throbbing now.

It seems like no time at all before you have to be back on your feet.

They're mixing things up a little, having the pilots choose different WSOs, presumably as some sort of teambuilding exercise (you weren't really paying attention).

You're disappointed that Rooster didn't pick you, but Payback beat him to it. And it's not as if he flies like Hangman. He's more inclined to go a bit slower, which suits you just fine, especially because you don't want to jar your ankle any more than necessary.

It's difficult to walk out to the hangar with your ankle feeling like it's going to buckle any second, but you somehow manage it, which makes you feel rather pleased with yourself.

You manage to get through training without telling anyone about your ankle. Of course, it helps that you've been sitting down most of the time, which gave you a chance to rest your ankle.

Unfortunately, you didn't realise that means your ankle's gone stiff. You very nearly fall when you get out of the plane, but Payback manages to catch you just in time.

"You okay, C/S?" he asks as he helps you stand.

You nod. "Just a bit stiff."

Payback doesn't look completely convinced, but he doesn't argue, fortunately.

Not that he would, anyway. You two aren't really close enough for that.

Neither are you and Rooster, as a matter of fact.

It's very difficult for you not to limp as you walk back to the building. Your ankle's getting more and more painful with every step, but you're determined to at least get through today.

Once you're in the briefing room, though, it's impossible to not let out a sigh of relief as you sit down, which prompts funny looks from the others, but you pretend not to notice.

"So, we're meeting at The Hard Deck tonight, then?" asks Phoenix.

She's answered by sounds of assent from the others.

You curse silently. You'd forgotten about the meet-up at the bar after work.

And you've already promised Bob that you'll be there tonight.

Wonderful. Just what I wanted.

It's not just because of your sprained ankle, though. You're already tired from work, and the last thing you need is more socialising in a noisy, crowded bar.

"Can't we do something different?" asks Hangman. "We're always at the bar."

Phoenix shrugs. "What were you thinking?"

"Dogfight football."

Fortunately, the protests at this shuts him up very quickly.

"Okay, okay!" Jake holds his hands up in surrender. "Geez…"

*****************************************************

Sighing, you collapse on your sofa almost immediately after entering your house. You're really not looking forward to tonight.

For one thing, you've still got to hide your injury. For another, you just don't like loud, rowdy places - like bars.

What if I just didn't go? you wonder suddenly. What if I stayed home and watched a movie or something?

At first, you try to dismiss the thought, but the more you think about what you'd do if you stayed home, the more you realise that you'd actually prefer to stay home.

So you end up deciding to stay home, and order some food.

Normally, the only time you have is when you're rushing around trying to get ready for work, so it's nice to finally be able to have some quality time with yourself.

By the time you finish dinner, you're pretty tired, and you don't want to risk falling asleep on the sofa, so you decide to skip on the movie, and just go straight to bed.

As you're getting ready for bed, you suddenly remember that you should probably ice your ankle, so after rummaging through the freezer to find something to wrap around your ankle, you go to bed.

But despite your exhaustion, it still takes you ages to fall asleep.

*****************************************************

The next morning, judging by the way the others are buzzing, it sounds like some crazy stuff went on at the bar yesterday, and you're very, very glad that you didn't go.

Rooster smiles when he sees you, and pats the seat next to him. "Hey, C/S."

As you sit down, you try desperately not to wince. The ice did help some, but your ankle's definitely feeling worse than yesterday.

"Missed you last night," says Rooster. "Were you okay?" Is it your imagination, or is his voice just a little softer than usual?

You nod, wishing your face wouldn't go so red. "Just - just tired."

Rooster doesn't look convinced, but nods.

He looks like he's about to say something else, but just then, Maverick calls for everyone's attention, and you've got no more time to chat.

"Well, as it so happens, Cyclone happened to be in a good mood today," he begins.

Oh no. Chills run over your body. You already know what Maverick's got in mind.

"So, since he's given everyone the afternoon off, I was thinking we play some dogfight football at the beach."

The room erupts into cheers.

Except for you.

You feel sick to your stomach. Sports were never really your thing, although you don't usually mind playing with the squad, but - you can't possibly play with an injury, and if you hide it, you won't be able to duck out of the match.

*****************************************************

What am I supposed to do? you wonder, as you try not to limp on your way to the beach.

Training's gone pretty badly. You were so distracted by your throbbing ankle, and trying to think of ways to get out of the game this afternoon that you ended up getting 'killed' at least twice (you lost count).

You were flying with Phoenix today, who isn't too impressed with you, but she's not as annoyed as you thought you'd be, although that might be because you didn't get 'killed' by Hangman.

But Phoenix's annoyance at you is the last thing on your mind.

Your ankle's feeling less and less stable the further you walk, and the pain's so bad that you're giving yourself a headache trying to bite back the groans and winces that you'd usually let out.

But you're still determined to not tell anyone.

You're not really sure why you're so bent on being independent. Maybe it stems back to the fact that you're autistic, and you've always felt like you've had to work twice as hard as your neurotypical peers to prove your worth…

Of course, it doesn't help that when you first applied to be a Naval aviator, the military didn't want to let you in, on account of you being autistic, and you had to fight to prove that you were worth taking on.

But your problems didn't end there. No, even while training to become an aviator, there was still the horrible cliquey situation that you thought you'd left behind in high school. All the other women seemed to know each other, and you didn't really feel comfortable trying to make friends with the men.

Except for Bob, of course. But then, you've both been friends since you were in high school. And Bob's always been a very kind, accepting person.

But you're not even going to tell him about your ankle. He's too conscientious to be able to help you hide an injury, and he'd have you in the sickbay in no time, which is the last thing you need when you're with the Dagger Squad

Everyone else seems happy and excited, pretty much the opposite of how you're feeling right now, and you really don't want to put a damper on their afternoon.

I wish I could just go home, you think. It's not like anyone would really miss me. And we'd be an odd number anyway, if Mav wanted to play.

You pause for a moment, turning the idea over in your head.

After all, why not? Why shouldn't I go home? It's my afternoon off. And anyway, what if my ankle played up, and they all noticed? Isn't that what I was worried about in the first place?

But I told Bob I'd be there.

You didn't promise.

Yeah, but bailing on him twice in two days? Isn't that a bit much?

*****************************************************

Hi, Bob. Sorry for the short notice, but I'm going to have to bail on the football game.

You pause for a moment, before hitting send. Well, no going back now.

Bob's reply comes up almost immediately. To Y/N: Oh, no. Why? Bob.

You manage a small smile as you reply. I'm just feeling kind of tired.

To Y/N: Do you want me to come over? Bob.

No, it's ok. I'll be fine by myself. Maybe tomorrow?

To Y/N: Okay. Hope you feel better soon. Bob.

Sighing, you put your phone aside, before immediately picking it up again so you can order some food. You feel bad bailing on Bob twice in quick succession, but you weren't lying. You are really tired, not least because of this stupid injury.

Maybe I'll take a sick day tomorrow, you wonder, before quickly dismissing the idea. You've only got a finite amount of sick leave, and you want to save it for - well, for a very rainy day, i.e. when you're really sick.

Which, if truth be told, hasn't happened this year. And you're past flu season, so…

There's a knock at the door.

You nearly jump out of your skin in fright, before groaning, and dragging yourself up to go and see who it is. It won't be the delivery guy, because you haven't even finished your order yet.

Your heart nearly stops when you open the door.

It's Rooster.

"Hey, C/S," he says. "Just came by to see how you're doing."

Him just being alone with you is enough to render your brain mush, and you have absolutely no idea how to reply, so you try stepping back as a way of inviting him in.

It's just bad luck that you completely forget about your ankle, which gives out beneath you, sending you to the floor.

Rooster catches you just in time.

Lifting you in his arms, he carries you to the living room, where he sets you down on the sofa.

"Where'd you hurt yourself?" he demands.

You stare at the floor. "My ankle," you whisper, wishing your cheeks wouldn't burn so much.

Very gently, Rooster takes your sock off. Judging by his soft gasp, he doesn't even need to touch your ankle to know that it's badly swollen.

"Is it broken or sprained?" he asks at last, his voice surprisingly thick.

"Sprained."

"Okay." Rooster takes a deep breath. "I'm gonna go get some ice for this. I'll only be a minute, so just stay put, okay?"

Once he's left the room, you scrub at your eyes, trying hard to keep the tears away. You expected him to yell at you for hiding an injury, but his quiet concern somehow makes you feel much, much worse.

And it doesn't help that your brain keeps replaying what happened over and over again.

That look on his face when you fell…

You don't even realise that you've started to cry until you feel a pair of strong arms around you, and a large hand cradling your head.

"Oh, sweetheart," murmurs Rooster. "I'm so sorry, I know it hurts…"

Sniffling, you lean into him as he strokes your hair, and murmurs sweet nothings in an attempt to calm you down. Despite how awkward you feel, you'd be lying if you said that a small part of you doesn't enjoy his fussing just a little bit.

It takes you a while to calm down, because every time your crying subsides, you see that look on Rooster's face again, and another wave of guilt washes over you, which makes you cry even more.

But once you're calm, you immediately pull away from him, feeling horribly embarrassed.

"Sorry," you mumble, staring at the floor once again.

"It's okay." Rooster moves to put the now partially melted ice pack on your ankle. "That better?"

You nod, feeling your throat go tight.

"Good."

There's a long, awkward silence. Not that you're complaining. You're still feeling a little fragile, and like you might cry any minute, so you don't really feel much like talking anyway.

"Hey, C/S?"

You look up.

"Do you - uh, need anything?"

You shake your head. "I'm fine. You should go back to the game."

Rooster shakes his head. "I'm not leaving you here."

"You should," you mumble.

"I don't want to leave you like this. You're tired, you're hurt, and you're in pain. Please let me help."

You can feel tears welling up again. "Okay," you whisper. "Thank you. And - I'm sorry about ruining your afternoon off."

"Don't be sorry." Rooster gives you a soft smile, although his eyes look suspiciously glassy. "I was worried about you, and this was the least I could do."

"You were worried?"

Rooster nods. "And it turns out I was right to be worried."

"What do you-"

Rooster suddenly takes your hand in his, holding it so tightly that you're worried he might break it. "You're very lucky that your ankle didn't give out when you were by yourself, and that you weren't more hurt when you fell. Please, never hide an injury like this again."

You nod. "Okay."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

Rooster lets go of your hand, although the worried expression doesn't fully leave his face.

You take a deep breath, feeling you should probably turn the conversation in a different direction. "Um, I was just about to order some food. Do you want any?"

Rooster smiles, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "Sure. But I'm paying."

You shake your head. "I'll pay. It's the least I can do."

Rooster looks like he's about to argue, but thinks better of it. "You sure you're comfortable?" he asks. "I could go and get you a blanket if you want…"

"A blanket sounds good," you say, smiling shyly. "Oh, and could you hand me the TV remote, please?"

Smiling, Rooster hands you the TV remote, before going upstairs.

You let out a soft sigh of relief as you relax into the sofa cushions, and turn on one of your favourite comfort shows. You're exhausted from today, so you decide to rest your eyes a bit.

Just for a few minutes…

*****************************************************

It seems like only a few seconds later when you suddenly wake up to feel Rooster tucking you into bed.

You let out a soft grunt. "Mm. What're you doing?"

Rooster smiles softly. "You fell asleep on the couch, sweetie. I figured you'd be more comfortable sleeping in bed. You still up for dinner?"

You shake your head. "Too tired. Can you just stay with me until I sleep?"

"Of course." Rooster's very gentle as he props your ankle up, and carefully wraps it in a fresh ice pack.

The slight shock from the cold wakes you up for a brief moment, but exhaustion soon takes over again, and you have to fight to try and keep your eyes open.

You feel the bed shift, and then Rooster's hand tenderly stroking your hair.

The last thing you remember before sinking into oblivion is his soft voice.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

****************************************************

Part 2

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

Maybe We Can Be Friends (Part 3)

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

Summary: You're sick. And a certain aviator is extremely worried...

Warnings/tags: Super super soft Jake, oblivious reader, mentions of being sick, lots of fluff, a bit of angst

A/N: I'm so so sorry it took me so long to write this. I really hope it was worth the wait.

***************************************************

Something's wrong. You can feel it even before your head's cleared enough for you to properly start waking up.

Chills are running down your body, your sinuses are burning, your throat feels like sandpaper…

You're sick.

You're still feeling pretty fuzzy-headed, but you know you're definitely too sick to go into uni.

You know you should tell Penny, but you don't even want to lift your head, let alone get out of bed and go downstairs. Your phone's on the bedside table, but with how exhausted you're feeling, it might as well be across the room.

Fortunately, you're spared the trouble of having to do either when Penny knocks on your door.

"Y/N? You going to get up? Sorry to sound like the mom here, but you're going to be late!"

Your throat feels too sore for you to speak properly, so you let out a weak, raspy groan in response.

The door opens, and Penny steps in, looking worried. "Gosh, Y/N," she mutters, looking you up and down, "you really don't look so good." Sitting down, she puts the back of her hand to your forehead. "Oh, honey, you're burning up. You must feel awful."

"Mmm." You just want to go back to sleep.

"No college for you today, of course," remarks Penny as she stands up. "I'll call and let them know. You just get some sleep, okay?"

***************************************************

It's mid-morning when you wake up again. Penny's sitting by your bed, scrolling on her phone, but she looks up when she hears you stirring.

"Hey, Y/N. How're you feeling?"

"Still not great," you croak, wincing at the sound of your own voice.

"Well, you're still pretty feverish, so that's to be expected. Do you feel like you're going to be sick?"

You shake your head. "I just feel tired, and achy, and like I never want to move again."

Penny nods. "I wonder if you've got this flu that's going around. Some of the Navy guys had it, and they must have accidentally spread it around town. Quite a lot of the teachers at Amelia's school have got it too."

"Must be making its rounds at uni, then…"

You both fall into silence for a bit, you because you're tired out, and Penny because she's wrapped up in her own thoughts.

"D'you feel like having anything to eat?" asks Penny suddenly. "Or watching some TV?"

"TV sounds good," you say. "I'm not really hungry, though."

Penny nods. "That's okay. By the way, I was going to take Amelia for a trip on the boat today-"

"But because I'm sick, you don't want to leave me alone? I'll be fine, you know…"

Penny bites her lip. "Okay. But just make you have something to eat. You don't have to eat now, but I'd prefer it if you had something to eat before I leave, okay?"

You nod. "Okay."

***************************************************

You meant to watch TV, like you'd said, but you end up getting so caught up in your thoughts that you completely forget, simply because there's just been so much happening that you need to process.

It's been kind of a weird time lately, and not just because it's been your first week or so at Penny's place after officially moving in.

Part of it's just because it's felt weird, living with your best friend, and finally getting full nights of sleep, but - well, you just can't really put your finger on it. There's a feeling of apprehension in the air, like something big is going to happen.

You haven't seen Jake since your last encounter at the bar, and - well, you're starting to miss him. Sure, he distracts you from your work, which can get annoying, but - you miss being distracted by him.

You miss him.

And it's not as if the rest of his friends aren't coming to the bar. Quite the contrary, in fact; you see Mav almost every night, the Hawaiian shirt guy is at the piano most evenings, and Jake's best friend is usually beating everyone else at darts.

It makes Jake's absence even more conspicuous, and, to be honest, you're beginning to worry. Is he okay? Did you scare him off? Was it something you said? Something you did?

Whatever the reason is, not knowing is driving you crazy.

Moping and worrying isn't going to get you anywhere, you know that; but it's so hard not to, especially when it's a guy that you like. And you like Jake a lot. More than you should, really.

***************************************************

It's mid-afternoon when there's a knock at your bedroom door. "Hey, Y/N. You awake?"

"Yeah." You look up, and smile when you see Penny. "Hi, Penny. How was your trip?"

"Well, the engine failed again, so I think we're either going to need a new engine, or a new boat. But the trip went well until then."

You pull a face. "Oof. That's not good."

Penny grimaces. "Yeah. But anyway, how was your day?"

You shrug. "Kind of boring, to be honest. I wish I'd been able to go with you and Amelia."

"Even though I just told you the boat engine failed?"

"Well, it'd be an adventure, a bit of excitement. I need some excitement, really, to take my mind off-"

"Is this about Jake?"

You nod. "I feel like - I - like I said something wrong, or I offended him… I don't know, I just - I really miss him, and I don't know why."

Penny nods sympathetically. "I feel that way sometimes with Pete, you know. Him and Jake - they're kind of wild cards. You never really know what they're going to do next."

You wish you could inquire further, but the bar's going to open soon, so Penny has to go.

Unfortunately, you're not sleepy like you'd hoped you'd be, which annoys you, because you'd meant to sleep during that time, and now you're flat on your back, bored and miserable, but unable to sleep.

Not for lack of trying, either. You've tried soothing sounds of various types, soft music, and so on, but nothing's working.

Now, you're just trying to somehow slip into sleep by zoning out with your eyes closed. It's not really working, but at least you're resting, if nothing else.

Having your eyes closed makes you more focused on the sounds in the house. There's the pipes, the washing machine, the dishwasher…

And someone unlocking the front door.

Is Penny back already?

Then there's footsteps. Penny's, and what sounds like a man's. Probably Mav's.

But then you hear a soft knock at your bedroom door, and a moment later, Penny pokes her head in.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Hi," you mutter. "What's going on?"

Penny sighs, and smiles. "Jake's here, sweetie. He wants to see you."

Your brain's too fuzzy for you to really register what she's saying, but you mumble something along the lines of, "Okay…"

"Do you want to see him?" asks Penny. "You don't have to; I can ask him to come by when you're feeling better."

"I wanna see him."

A moment later, Jake's there, sitting on your bed. "Hey, Y/N. How're you feeling, honey?"

You're not really sure what to answer. You want to tell Jake that you're fine, but the words just won't come.

Jake gently rests the back of his hand on your forehead. "Oh, sweetheart. You're burning up."

You bite your lip, fighting the urge to cry. Not here, Y/N. Not in front of Jake.

Jake's hand moves to start stroking your hair. "My poor baby. Why didn't you tell me you were sick, sweetheart?"

"I wasn't sick yesterday," you whisper, wishing your eyes wouldn't water so much.

"Hey, it's okay." Jake's other hand moves to take yours. "It's not your fault you're sick. I'm just worried about you. Okay, sweets?"

"Okay," you whisper, closing your eyes.

"Oh, sweetie…" Jake wipes away the tears that start rolling down your cheeks. "You're gonna be okay. Please don't cry."

He continues murmuring sweet nothings in an effort to make you feel better, and you sniffle, feeling a bit guilty at the fact that a small part of you is enjoying Jake's fussing. He hasn't been this worried since that time at the bar, and you hadn't realised just how much you'd missed it until now.

"Stay?" you ask. "Please?"

"I'd love to, sweetheart, I don't know if Penny will let me. This is her house too, you know."

"Ask her."

"Okay. But first, I'm going to stay with you until you're asleep, okay?"

You're too sleepy to respond, so instead, you just allow yourself to enjoy this little moment with Jake.

***************************************************

You're barely awake before you realise that someone's stroking your hair.

It's Jake.

"You stayed," you murmur.

"That's right, sweets. I stayed. And I'm staying until you feel better, okay?"

"But what about-"

Your words are cut off by a fit of coughing. Sitting up sharply, you gasp and hack as you desperately try not to throw up everywhere.

Jake thumps you on the back until your coughing dies down. "You okay, sweets?"

"Does it-" gasp - "look like I'm okay?"

Jake chuckles. "Stupid question. Sorry, sweets." His hand resumes stroking your hair. "So, you want me to stay with you for a bit?"

Your heart skips a beat. "Just so long as Penny doesn't mind."

Jake smiles softly. "I don't think she will." He's watching you carefully as he speaks, which makes you feel shy. "Do you need anything, sweets?"

"Can I have some water, please?"

"Sure." Jake stands up. "I'll be back in a minute."

It feels like a lot longer than a minute when Jake finally gets back with a glass of water.

"Sorry that took so long, sweetie," he says gently. "Penny wanted to know how you were doing, and if you needed anything else."

You just nod, and go to take the glass, but Jake puts it on the bedside table.

What's he-

Sitting back on the bed, Jake helps you sit up, making sure to put some pillows behind your back, before holding the glass to your lips, and helping you drink.

After taking a few sips, you're ready to go back to sleep. Even drinking water seems to be tiring you out.

"You should probably take some medicine," remarks Jake. "I'll go see if Penny has any."

Before you can protest, he's sitting by your bed again with some medicine.

"I wanna sleep…" you mumble.

"No, sweets, you gotta take the medicine," says Jake gently. "It'll help you feel better."

You grumble, but take the medicine anyway, before lying back down, and preparing to go to sleep.

"You sure you don't want anything else?" asks Jake softly.

"Mmhm."

"Okay." Jake strokes your cheek gently. "Well, if you need anything, I'm right here."

***************************************************

"Hey, Y/N?" It's Penny. "You up?"

"Yeah," you reply.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to the beach with me."

You smile, even though she can't see you from behind the door. "Of course I would! I've actually been feeling kind of cramped the past day or two. I'll be out in a minute."

It's been a few weeks since Jake's first visit, and while you're feeling much better now, you can tell that he's still worried about you. He's been using a much gentler tone than usual, and he's been much more attentive, making sure you're comfortable whether you're sitting or lying down, getting you stuff (even when you could have easily gotten it yourself), and so on.

It was sweet at first, but you were starting to feel a bit stifled, which is why you're kind of glad that he had to go back to work for a bit, even though you do miss him when he's gone.

Your uni isn't going to let you back in until you're better (Jake made sure of that), and you'd have been pretty bored, just staying at home with nothing to do, if it wasn't for Penny. You've both been able to spend some more time together, but this is the first time in a few days that you've managed to get out of the house.

***************************************************

"Seems like Jake's more into you than I thought," remarks Penny, as you both walk down to the beach.

"What do you mean?"

Penny stares at you like you've just gone crazy. "Seriously? You still don't think Jake's into you?"

"Well, no, I know he's into me, but…"

Penny throws her hands up in despair. "Y/N L/N, sometimes I don't know what to do with you! Haven't you even noticed what he's been doing the past few weeks?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Hey, Penny!"

It's Mav, grinning all over his face. "Oh, hey, Y/N. You feeling better?"

Wait, he knows? "Uh… yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling better." How does he know?

"Mav!" yells one of the pilots. "Get back to the game!"

"We're taking a break!" replies Mav.

There's a chorus of 'ooh's from the other pilots.

"Hey, Y/N, Jake's over there," says Penny, like you hadn't already noticed. "Go say hi."

"Penny, I don't know if that's-"

Penny gives you a shove. "Go on."

Nervously, you shuffle towards the beach, half-hoping that nobody sees you.

No such luck.

"Hey. Y/N, right?"

It's one of Mav's pilots. She looks friendly enough, but - well, you're always nervous around strangers.

"Yes. Um - hi…"

"My callsign's Phoenix, but you can call me Nat." She smiles. "Jake's told us a lot about you."

"He has?"

Nat nods. "Yep. Oh, how are you feeling, by the way? Jake told us you got sick."

"Yeah, I'm - I'm okay now. Um… how many people know - that I got sick?"

"Pretty much the whole squad, and probably the whole base, too. Oh, and whoever was at The Hard Deck a few weeks ago."

"Whoever was at the bar a few weeks ago?" you repeat incredulously.

Nat gives you a funny look. "Penny didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Nat grins. "Well, Jake got into the bar, saw that you weren't at the counter, and ran up to Penny, asking her where you were. And when he heard you were sick…"

"What?" Your heart's pounding so hard that your chest's beginning to hurt. "What happened?"

Nat's grin widens. "Well-"

"Oh, hey - um, Y/N, right?" It's the guy with glasses.

You nod. "Hi."

He holds out a hand. "I'm Bob. Nice to meet you."

You shake it rather hesitantly, and give him a smile in return.

"Hi, Y/N," remarks another guy, smiling at you. "Turns out Hangman really does have a girl. I'm Coyote, by the way."

The other pilots, who've all been gathering around, also introduce themselves, some asking how you're doing, others simply stating their name or callsign. It's a little overwhelming at first, but their friendliness soon puts you at ease.

"Guys?" It's Jake, pushing his way through the group. Concern flashes in his eyes when he sees you, and he rushes over, standing protectively in front of you. "Hey, guys, don't crowd her. She gets overwhelmed easily."

"No, no, it's okay," you hastily reply. "They weren't crowding me."

But Jake still looks worried. "Let's get you to a bench, sweets. You'll tire yourself out."

You're about to protest, but when you see the concern in Jake's eyes, you don't have the heart, so you let him take your arm, and lead you over to a bench.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks as he sits you down. "You're not too tired?"

You can feel tears welling up in your eyes at Jake's concern, but you do your best to deflect them with a laugh. "Jake, I'm fine."

Jake doesn't look convinced. He opens his mouth, but just then, you hear Mav.

"Alright, guys, back to the game!"

Jake doesn't run off like the others, instead hovering beside you as Penny comes over.

"Hey, Jake."

Jake manages a small smile. "Hey, Penny."

"Hey, Y/N, I was thinking we maybe go get a few drinks before the bar opens. You don't have to bartend tonight if you don't feel up to it, though."

You smile. "Drinks sound good."

"Hey, Hangman, game's starting!" calls Rooster.

"Just a minute!" Jake turns to you. "You gonna be okay?"

You nod. "I'll be fine."

As you stand up, Jake takes hold of your arm to support you. "You sure you don't want me to drive you home?"

"Jake, I'm getting drinks with Penny. And it's literally a five minute walk from the bar to her place. I'll be fine."

"Okay, well, if you need anything, just call me, okay? Or text me."

You nod. "Okay."

***************************************************

"I wish he wouldn't worry so much," you tell Penny, as she pours you a Coke.

Penny nods as she hands you the drink. "I know what you mean. Mav's kind of like that."

You take a sip of your drink. "You know, I never found out what happened that night at the bar."

"How do you mean?"

"When Jake found out I was sick, and then came bursting into my room. You remember?"

Penny smiles. "How could I forget?"

"Well, Nat told me some of what happened…"

"How much?"

"Up until the part where you told him I was sick. But I didn't hear what he did. What did he do?"

Penny's face grows serious. "I've never seen someone more terrified. He looked like he was about to have a breakdown. He literally begged me to let him go and see you. I didn't want to at first, because I thought you wouldn't appreciate having your rest interrupted, but…"

"But what?"

"I didn't really have the heart." She sits down beside you with her own drink. "Look, Y/N, I know you think I'm crazy, but - I think - I know - that Jake's in love with you. Like, head-over-heels. He adores you."

Tears rush to your eyes. "I knew he liked me," you mumble, "but I had no idea…" You put your head in our hands, trying hard not to hyperventilate. "Oh, my gosh. And I just - ohh…" You turn back to Penny. "I - What am I supposed to do? He'll probably hate me now."

"Y/N, honey, he's not going to hate you. And this isn't your fault. You had no idea. Just - talk to him, the next time you see him. I'm sure he'll understand."

You nod. "Okay. I'll do that."

Penny smiles. "Good. Now, how about-"

"Hey, Penny?"

It's Jake.

"Yeah?"

"Mav said he left something here, a watch or something?"

Penny gets up. "It's in the back room. I'll go get it for you."

Your heart jumps as she leaves the room, and you turn nervously to Jake.

He smiles at you. "Hey, sweets. You okay? Not too tired or anything?"

You shake your head, wishing you could find your words.

Jake moves to sit next to you. "You sure you don't want me to drive you home?"

You bite your lip, staring into the distance as you piece together what you're going to say.

"Y/N?"

You jump when you feel his hand on your shoulder. "Sorry. Just - thinking."

"You look tired," he says gently. "You sure you don't want to go home?"

You take a deep breath. "I - um - look, Jake, I - I'm really sorry for how I acted today - and the past couple of weeks. I - I didn't realise-"

"Woah, woah, what's all this, baby?"

"Penny told me what happened that night in the bar. I - I had no idea you were so worried, and I've just been acting like an ungrateful - brat."

Jake looks genuinely confused. "Since when did you act like a brat? The first night I came to visit? You were sick, sweetie. I didn't expect you to-"

"No, no, it's not that. It's how - how I - batted your help away."

"Batted my help away?"

"You know, snapping at you today - um, deliberately doing things myself…"

"Oh, sweetheart. You weren't being a brat." He sighs. "I guess I was a little too overprotective, and I'm sorry about that."

"You're sorry?" You can feel a lump forming in your throat. "You've got it all backwards. I'm the one who's supposed to be apologising; I'm the one who-"

"Y/N." Jake takes your hand. "Hey, Y/N, look at me." When you do, he continues, "You haven't been well, okay? And I can tell that you're still not back to your full strength. Please don't upset yourself over this, sweets. I'm not mad, okay?"

You nod. "Okay," you whisper.

"That's my girl." Jake smiles at you.

You're both silent for a bit. Jake's started unconsciously stroking your hand, which you're really enjoying.

"Jake?"

He looks up. "Yeah?"

You're suddenly nervous again. "Um, I - I just wanted to say that I like you. A lot. I - I think I - love you, actually…"

Jake's silent, and for a moment, you're scared that you overstepped.

But then he smiles, and you're surprised to see tears in his eyes. "I love you too, sweets."

There's a long silence as you both look at each other. Jake's resumed stroking your hand, and you don't want to speak in case he stops, or you say something wrong.

Then you both hear cheers, and turn to see Jake's fellow pilots grinning at you.

"Guys!" protests Jake, and you're amused to see that he's embarrassed. You've never seen him embarrassed before in your life; you didn't even know it was an emotion he was capable of.

"So, um," you move closer, trying to ignore the pilots, "does this mean we're dating now?"

Jake chuckles. "Are you asking me out?"

You blush. "No! Well - I just don't really know where to go…"

"We could go to that fast food place," he suggests.

"It's not very romantic-" you begin.

"I can find another place," Jake says quickly.

"No, no, the fast food place is fine. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, sweets. I know what you meant. But are you sure you're not too tired?"

You nod. "I'm okay. Just - maybe if we make it a short one..."

Jake smiles. "Of course."

***************************************************

As you walk to Jake's truck, a realisation suddenly hits you.

Jake turns around at the sound of your laughter. "What's so funny, sweetheart?"

You smile. "There never was a watch, was there?"

"A watch?"

"Mav sent you in to find his watch, and Penny said it was in the back room."

Jake laughs. "Those little-"

***************************************************

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

Unintentional

Pairing: Loki x shy!autistic!fem!reader

Summary: Accidentally getting caught up in a chain of events outside your control was not on your bucket list. But neither was working for SHIELD. Or being able to read the mind of a certain Asgardian captured by SHIELD…

Warnings/tags: Fluff, soft Loki, angst, reader hates their job, mind-reading, implied concussion, mention of stabbing, minor character death, mentions of injuries, probably OOC Loki? (I don't really know…), probably confusing dialogue, morally questionable SHIELD

A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't posted in so long, life's just been really busy lately.

*******************************************************************

Working for SHIELD was not on your bucket list. In fact, you didn't even know that the organisation existed until you'd dropped out of school, and started looking for work. You'd started as a lab intern, but you got promoted to lab assistant - and then you got onto SHIELD's radar.

In a good way, fortunately. You ended up getting a job there, and now you're one of the top lab assistants. You've worked with (well, for) some of the best scientists in the world. Some were nice, some not so nice, some just average.

Like your previous employer, Dr Selvig, who mysteriously disappeared quite recently.

And now you're stuck being a lab assistant to Dr Banner, who's probably the most dangerous person on the whole ship. Sure, he's not the worst scientist you've ever had to be a personal assistant to; in fact, he's actually really nice. One of the best, in fact.

Even so, you're pretty on edge around him. You're not the best with people, and the only reason you even agreed to the position of lab assistant in the first place was because, well, you thought that it would be only a few people that you'd have to interact with that would all be as awkward as you.

Unfortunately, that's not the case. Apparently, being a lab assistant also means acting as a mediator between the agents and the scientists - something you've never been great at, as it requires, well, people skills. Good people skills.

Fortunately, Dr Banner doesn't seem to be having any trouble like that, so far, and another guy's helping him out with whatever they're supposed to be doing (SHIELD is annoyingly 'hush-hush' about that sort of thing), which renders you pretty much useless as far as helping is concerned.

That's why you're glad that Banner lets you do pretty much whatever you like. He doesn't like being disturbed while he's working, he doesn't want to talk with the agents until he's found something of value - and that other guy, Sparks or something, is already playing assistant.

But still, knowing that he could lose control, and turn into a giant green rage monster at any point has been doing a pretty good job of keeping you on edge.

Sure, there's a dangerous guy locked up in the cage downstairs, who's apparently from another planet, and is ridiculously overpowered by all accounts, but - he's locked up. Banner isn't. And - well, you don't really know how the whole Hulk thing works. Does he get a nasty mood swing that turns him into Hulk? Is it under immense stress? Or does it just come on randomly?

One of the advantages of having pretty much free rein on a SHIELD hideout is that you can find out some pretty interesting stuff about the history of SHIELD, past cases, etc., and if anyone asks, you can just say it's for your job. It's just unfortunate that you aren't allowed to use your knowledge in trivia quizzes, and have to play clueless like other people.

"L/N? Where are you going?" You bite back a groan as you turn around.

It's just unfortunate that Agent Romanoff's seen you leaving the lab. You've never really been sure what to make of her. She's never been overtly mean to you, but she does have a habit of sticking her nose into your business, which you find kind of annoying, especially as you're a fairly private person.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping Dr Banner?" she asks.

You have to fight the urge to sigh. "He doesn't want to be disturbed while he's working."

"You should still stick around, though."

You shake your head. "He told me he doesn't like having people hovering over him unless they're actually helping."

Romanoff considers this for a moment, before nodding. "Okay, well, I actually have a job for you. I know it's not exactly in your skill-set, but - well, we still don't know what Loki's planning to do, so I need you to go and talk to him for me, see if he lets anything slip about his plans."

You nod. "Yes, Agent."

As you walk off, your mind's racing. I've got to talk to Loki, the second most dangerous person on the entire ship, a guy so powerful that it took the combined efforts of Sparks, Richards, Romanoff, and a couple others to even capture him? What if he attacks me? What if he gets inside my head? What if-

"L/N?"

Wonderful.

It's Agent Hill. "What are you doing?"

"An errand for Agent Romanoff."

You're surprised at how quickly her manner becomes more approving when she hears Romanoff's name. This could be a get-out-of-jail-free card for the next time I get caught snooping!

But even after that delightful discover, you're still very nervous by the time you reach the cage where Loki's being held, so much so that you end up debating with yourself about whether to even open the door.

Come on, Y/N, you have to open the door. You have to talk to him.

But he's dangerous! He might kill me!

He's in a cage that'll drop out of the helicarrier if he tries to break it, much less attack you.

But the mechanism might fail!

There's a button on the control pad that you can press that will do the exact same thing.

I don't want to do this!

Look, you promised Agent Romanoff you'd do it. You don't have to stay very long. Just ask him a couple questions, and then run away. You don't even have to stay to hear his answer; they can probably see him on the security cameras anyway.

Even so, for all your rationalising, you're still pretty scared when you finally push the door open, and step inside.

Maybe he won't hear me if I keep quiet. Maybe I can jumpscare him.

No such luck. Loki snaps his head around the minute you step inside.

He's actually a lot less scary-looking than you imagined he'd be.

Well, apart from his eyes. They're a glowing, unnatural blue that reminds you eerily of that weird spear-scimitar hybrid that Sparks and Banner are working on.

You can hear your heart pounding in your ears. Your lungs are struggling to fill with air, making you hyperventilate.

What am I even supposed to ask him? 'Hi, how's your day going? Oh, and by the way, could you very kindly tell me what exactly your plans are for invading Earth?'

Bang!

You jump back as Loki slams his fist on the glass.

"How did you get into my head?" he hisses.

Your first instinct would have been to run away, but you're so terrified that you can barely think straight, let alone run away.

He thumps the glass again. "Answer me!"

Tears begin to fill your eyes, partly from the shock, but also from his manner. You can see now why he's so dangerous; he can be absolutely terrifying when he wants to be.

"I - I don't know what you're talking about," you gasp, trying hard to hold back your tears.

"Don't lie to me." Loki's voice is quieter now, but more menacing. "Tell me how you got into my head!"

"I didn't!" Your voice is getting more and more high-pitched. "I swear!"

"Then why did I hear your voice while your lips weren't moving?"

"You can read thoughts?"

"When I choose to."

So he didn't-

"Why would I bother myself with the thoughts of a mere mortal?"

Darn. I forgot he could read thoughts.

"I'm not trying to read your thoughts, mortal," snaps Loki. "Now would you say something?"

You open your mouth, but it's completely dry, so you close it again, while trying to work out what you're going to say.

Then a wave of anger hits you.

You know what? you decide. Screw Romanoff. Screw Fury. Screw SHIELD. I'm sick of them, pretending like they're better than everyone else just because they work for the government.

You can tell Loki's listening in, but you don't care. Let him listen. Let him hear exactly what goes on inside my head.

"Tell me about yourself," says Loki suddenly, in a much more civil tone than before. "How did you start working for SHIELD?"

I got too good at my job, so Fury forced me to work for him. Outwardly, you say, "It was an internship."

Loki nods. "What do you want from me?"

Well, not from you specifically, but I'd quite like to quit this job, and go back to being a civilian. "Why… why would I tell you that?"

Loki just smirks. "I think you know why, mortal."

I don't want to tell you.

Loki chuckles. "Don't you trust me?"

I don't know who to trust anymore. "Why would I trust someone fighting the organisation I work for?"

Loki's suddenly serious. "Do you trust SHIELD?"

I thought I did. But after I read the files… "Of course." You're shocked at how easily the lie slips off your tongue. What have I become?

"L/N!"

It's Fury. And he looks like he's living up to his name quite well.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Your mind goes blank for a moment. "Uh… Romanoff asked me to interrogate Loki."

"Well, it doesn't look much like an interrogation to me. Seems like Loki's doing most of the asking."

Maybe there's different types. "Well - I'm - I'm going to ask him questions."

Fury sighs. "Fine. Just - don't get too close. He's a master of manipulation, L/N. He'll get inside your head, if you let him."

Well, I wasn't letting him. "Yes, sir."

After he's left, you turn back to Loki with a sigh. "Where were we?"

L/N, I need you to pay attention to me. In a few minutes, Barton will be breaking in with enemies of SHIELD, who work for me. I need you to stay low, draw as little attention to yourself as possible. Stay near me if you can. And get rid of that uniform, or they will kill you.

You try hard to keep your emotions in check. Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?

There's no time to explain. Are you with me or not?

You consider for a moment. What has SHIELD ever done for me? For any of its agents? I don't even like the organisation, so why…

Loki sighs. What have you to lose?

Everything, if you lose. But… you know what? Screw SHIELD. I was planning to leave them anyway, at least once this mission was over, so why not leave now?

Loki smirks. "You have no questions for me, L/N?"

It's Y/N. "I did, but then Fury interrupted, and I forgot."

"Well, I'd rather like to hear some questions, all the same." What do you have to offer me, Y/N? I'm not doing this purely out of the goodness of my heart.

If we fail, I act as a double-double agent, and see if I can get you the lightest sentence possible. You'd still be incarcerated for a while, but it would be shorter than life - and better than going to the electric chair. If we succeed - well, I'm not sure. "How - how old are you?"

Loki chuckles again. "What a silly question. I am around one thousand and fifty years old - which is equivalent to around twenty-one of your years." That sounds fair enough.

How do I know you'll keep your word? "Um - well - do you have any siblings?"

"A brother. His name's Thor. You may have seen him." I promise to you, Y/N, on all I hold dear, I will protect you.

Cross your heart? "The blonde guy carrying the big hammer?"

Loki nods. "Yes." Cross my heart?

It's a kind of promise. Cross my heart, hope to die. Or you could swear on your mother's life. "Well - um… he mentioned you were adopted."

"That's correct." Well, if it makes you feel better - cross my heart, hope to die. But I already promised on my mother's life.

And you'll keep that promise? "How old were you when you were adopted?"

"I was a baby." I will.

Should I leave? "So, like, a birth adoption?"

Loki shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about it." No, stay here. You'll be safer near me.

But what about my uniform? "Well - um…"

"No more questions, hm? You don't seem to have learned very much about me." When I get out, I can cast an illusion to hide your uniform.

Should I help you break out? "Well, I learned a bit about your family and childhood. That's something, right?"

"But you still have no idea of my plans." Do you know how?

I think I could figure it out. Or Barton could get you out. "That's true…"

Crash!

The whole aircraft gives a massive shudder, the impact knocking you to the floor.

For a moment, you're dazed, unsure what to do next.

Looking up, you see that the security cameras around the cage are broken. Not that it matters whether anyone sees you now.

Struggling to your feet, you stagger to the control panel, and try to figure out which button to press to open the cage.

After trying a few random buttons, which fortunately do nothing untoward, you find the right one, and press it.

Stepping out, Loki takes a long look at you, before putting his hand on your shoulder.

"There," he says softly. "You should be safe now. Just stay with me."

Looking down, you see that your SHIELD uniform is gone, replaced by plain black clothes. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. Do you have a weapon?"

You shake your head. "I'm not allowed."

Loki points to your belt. "You are now."

That's when you realise there's a holster on your belt - with a gun in it. Taking it out, you take a good look at the gun. You don't know very much about guns, but it looks pretty powerful.

"Come on," mutters Loki. "We can't just stand here."

"Sorry," you mumble, hastily putting the gun back into the holster.

You feel Loki tense behind you before you hear the heavy footsteps entering the room.

Stay still.

You obey without question, your mouth dry, as you watch Loki cast an illusion.

"No!"

Clang!

It's Loki's brother, Thor. And he's locked in the cage.

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?"

Loki's words make you want to laugh. Despite everything, it seems that he and Thor still have a sibling dynamic.

"Brother-" Thor's voice is low, threatening.

An illusion of Loki walks up to the control panel. "The humans think us immortal. Should we test that?"

In desperation, Thor throws his hammer at the cage wall. It manages to crack the glass, but then the bars holding the cage in place start to give way.

Loki's hand hovers over the button, ready to press it.

"Move away, please."

You turn, and - oh, of all the miserable luck!

It's Coulson. And he's holding a pretty lethal-looking weapon.

"You like this? It's a prototype we started working on after you sent the Destroyer to Earth. I don't even know what it does, but I'm pretty interested in finding out."

Loki begins to back away - and then disappears.

The real Loki appears behind Coulson, stabbing him in the chest.

"No!" yells Thor.

Ignoring him, Loki walks over to the control panel, and pushes the button.

You have to suppress an audible gasp as Thor is thrown out of the aircraft.

Loki gestures to you. "Come on."

You obey, scuttling up to him, trying not to look at Coulson's body, which is now slumped on the floor.

"You're going to lose."

Both you and Loki turn around to see that Coulson's still alive.

Loki lets out a soft laugh. "Am I?"

"It's in your nature."

Loki shakes his head. "Your heroes are scattered; your floating fortress falls from the sky. Where is my disadvantage?"

"You lack conviction."

"I don't think I-"

Bang!

Coulson fires his weapon, which sends you and Loki flying through the wall.

Fortunately, Loki was standing in front of you, and took the brunt of the blast, but you're still in a lot of pain, and you're pretty sure you've cracked some ribs.

"Y/N!" Loki gets up, and rushes towards you. "Are you alright?"

You nod. We should go.

"Come." Loki helps you up.

You're grateful for his concern, but you're not planning on telling him how you really feel. Not yet, anyway. Your whole body hurts, which makes you wonder if you're more injured than you first thought. Maybe the adrenaline's masking it.

Your suspicions are confirmed when your knee buckles, nearly sending you down a flight of stairs.

Loki catches you before you can fall. He gives you a look, but picks you up in his arms without a word.

You nearly yelp at the unfamiliar sensation, but you're grateful for the support. You're pretty much certain that you're badly hurt, and you doubt you could have gone the rest of the way by yourself.

A jet's waiting for you when you finally get out of the aircraft.

Loki's still holding you as he steps onto the jet, maneuvering you onto his lap as he sits down.

As the jet takes off, Loki gives a few orders, before turning his attention back to you.

Let's have no more lying, please, he begins, rather sternly. Now, how do you really feel?

You stare at the floor. I don't know. I know I'm injured, but…

Loki's face softens slightly. I'll get a medic to see to you once we land. You do need to rest, so just try to relax for now.

You try to do as he says, but it feels kind of weird. It's been a long time since you've had this much physical contact, even longer since you've sat on someone's lap, and even longer since you've been held in someone's arms.

Loki…

Yes?

Why are you helping me? I'm literally supposed to be a SHIELD agent. Or are you just taking me hostage for ransom or something?

Loki sighs, shifting you into a more comfortable position. I'm not taking you hostage, sweet. Look, Y/N, I know you won't believe me, but - I really am helping you - I really want to help you. But I can't tell you why. Not yet, anyway.

Couldn't you tell me at least one reason?

Loki's mouth turns up slightly. Well, it's been a long time since someone confided in me.

But what about your brother? Hasn't he confided in you before?

Not for a long time. Loki's arms tighten around you as the jet dips. And listen, once this is over, I will tell you why I'm helping you. But for now, you need to trust me.

Well, I don't really have much of a choice, do I? I'm injured, you're about a hundred times stronger than me, and I'm in a jet with a load of guys who'll kill me if I attack you.

Loki brushes a strand of hair out of your eyes. You should rest. I doubt you could attack even a human right now, let alone me.

Sighing, you close your eyes, and rest your head on his shoulder, suddenly feeling very tired. Your whole body's really hurting now, and it's getting difficult to breathe, but you're too exhausted to care.

You're painfully jolted awake when the jet lands.

You hear Loki curse under his breath. "Are you alright?" he asks you.

You're too tired to respond.

Answer me. Are you hurt?

I don't know. Leave me alone…

You feel Loki's hand rest on your forehead, before moving down to cup your cheek. "We need to get you to a healer."

And then everything goes black.

*****************************************************************

Part 2

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

Maybe We Can Be Friends (Part 2)

Since you all liked the first one so much, I decided I'd write another one! Hope you enjoy this one too.

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

Summary: You thought you'd more or less made your peace with Jake, and you were hoping that there would be no more drama, but it turns out that Fate loves to go against your wishes, which is something Penny and Jimmy won't let you forget in a hurry…

Warnings: Obnoxious roommates, mentions of autism, mentions of sensory overload, a bit of angst, some fluff, soft Jake, Penny and the reader are besties

A/N: Sorry this one's got less Jake in, I promise there will be more of him in future!

"Hey, Y/N!" calls Penny, as you enter the bar. "How was your date?"

You blush. "It went well. And it wasn't a date."

Penny just gives you a knowing smile, and slips you a Coke. "Just as a heads-up, it'll probably be busy tonight, so you don't have to stay, okay? Like I said last time, I'll pay you the full amount no matter what time you leave, and I won't be mad if you need to leave early - or if you just want to skip it."

You bite your lip, remembering what happened last night. Although it turned out well, you really don't want to go through another sensory overload. But at the same time, you don't want to leave the bar to just two people, especially if it's busy.

"I'll stay, and just test the waters a bit," you reply. "But if I start looking scared, or agitated, or something…"

Penny nods. "I'll keep an eye on you, just so something like last night doesn't happen again, okay?"

You nod. "Yeah, that's fine."

"And I have a feeling that a certain aviator will be looking out for you, too," she adds, with a teasing smile.

You blush. "It was just the once, Penny. He's probably going to be back to his old self tonight."

"I wouldn't be so sure, hon. He's not exactly the type who'd do that for just anyone, you know."

You blush again, wishing your heart wouldn't jump about whenever you talk or think about him. What's wrong with me? I literally just stopped hating him last night, and now I'm feeling weird about him again?

"Bar's open!" calls Jimmy, as he flips the open/closed sign.

You hastily get behind the counter, and pour yourself another Coke.

Fortunately, while it's busier than usual, it's not as busy as it was last night. And you're getting pretty caffeinated, so things are looking good.

As you start taking orders, you find yourself watching the doorway, wondering if there are going to be any Navy pilots tonight.

Well, until you catch Penny grinning at you.

"Penny!" you groan. Realising how stupid that sounds, you hastily add, "It could be anyone, you know." Why's my voice so high-pitched?

"Right, Y/N. Right."

"Well, it could be-" You hastily try to think of a pilot who you can actually put a name or callsign to.

And then you realise - and grin.

Turning to Penny, you say, "You know, I noticed you fancied one of them - Matthews, was it?"

Penny rolls her eyes. "Mitchell." She chuckles. "Alright, you got me there."

"So you do like him?"

Penny blushes. "I guess. But don't tell him, okay?"

You nod. "Sure. But why?"

Penny smiles. "I guess you don't know what the word 'maverick' means." She's about to explain, but just then, the Dagger Squad walk in.

You stare at them, looking for Jake, and trying to ignore Penny's grinning.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Hey, Penny."

You and Penny both jump, and let out squeaks of fright, before turning around to see Jake and Mav grinning at you.

"Peter Evan Mitchell!" Penny scolds him.

"Hey, I didn't know I was gonna make you jump," protests Mav.

You notice that Penny's blushing, which would normally make you giggle - except for the fact that Jake's standing right in front of you.

"Hey, sweets," he says.

Your face burns as you stare at him, every rational thought immediately leaving your head.

Jake chuckles. "What's the matter? You suddenly bowled over by my good looks?"

You open your mouth to protest, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay, sweets. I'm just teasing. I'll have a Jack and Coke, by the way."

You try not to spill anything as you make his drink, pretending not to notice Jimmy grinning at you.

Jake's fingers brush against yours as you hand him his drink, a small thing that makes your heart jump much higher than it should have.

That, and his soft, "Thanks, hon."

Fortunately, Penny's busy with Mav (something you'll tease her about later), but Jimmy's trying to catch your eye.

Unfortunately, it's not quite time for the evening rush, so you don't have anyone else to get drinks for, which would help you get your mind off Jake - and be a perfect excuse not to chat.

You don't really want to talk about Jake tonight, though, so, for once in your life, you're positively delighted when the evening rush starts, and you don't have any time to chat.

***********************************************************************

You're woken up by your phone buzzing.

Groaning, you reach over, grab it, fumbling the unlock feature a couple of times until you manage to open it.

There's a text from Penny: Hey Y/N, I know you probably won't read this right now, but was wondering if you'd like to have a girls' day out?

That's enough to wake you up immediately. Do I want to go on a day out with Penny? Stupid question - of course I do!

You immediately reply with: Yes! I'll be ready and down to the bar as quick as I can!

Penny's reply comes through a few seconds later: I was actually going to come around to your place with the car. Figured it'd be more convenient.

You smile, type out a thank-you, and then start getting ready.

It's been ages - years, actually - since you and Penny have had a proper day out. Sure, you met at the beach about a week ago, but that wasn't really a designated day out.

Despite your indecisiveness over what to wear, you're ready in record time, and actually have time to do a bit of scrolling before you hear Penny's car pull up outside.

"Hi, Penny," you say, as you get in.

"Hey," she replies. "Figured I'd take advantage of Amelia being away this Saturday."

"How is she?" you ask. You've met Amelia a few times over the years, and you've always liked her.

"Pretty good. She's settled in well at school, made some friends, and she's getting pretty good grades, too."

"That's good. She's a nice girl."

"Of course you'd say that to me!" laughs Penny. "I'm her mother!"

You blush. "But I do genuinely think that."

"I know you do, hon. You two always got on well."

You both fall into silence after that, just taking time to enjoy each other's company.

After a while, Penny says, "You know, for our day out, I was thinking we go shopping, get some clothes, skincare stuff, maybe some lunch…"

You smile. "Sounds good." Penny mentioning skincare stuff has put an idea into your head. "You know, I was thinking…"

"Yes?"

"What if - you don't have to agree, of course - but what if we bought skincare stuff - like spa kind of stuff, and had a girls' spa night?"

Penny's face lights up. "Now that's an idea!"

Then you remember. "Oh, but - what about Amelia? Will she mind?"

"She's having a sleepover tonight. And even if she wasn't, I'm pretty sure she'd be happy to join in."

"She wouldn't think it's a bit weird or cringe? You know, because I'm friends with you, and you're her mother?"

"You're closer to her age than I am, and anyway, she loves you, hon. She'd do anything for you."

You're not used to getting compliments like that, and now you're blushing. You try to think of something else to talk about, but just then, your stomach growls.

You blush again. "Sorry."

Penny chuckles. "It's fine, hon. Looks like our first stop'll be breakfast, then."

You start to protest. "Oh, no, Penny, you don't have t-"

Penny cuts you off with another laugh. "I'm not dragging a hungry, grumpy Y/N around the shops, okay? You're getting breakfast, whether you like it or not."

"Okay, but just a sandwich or something. I want to save my appetite for lunch."

"Sure thing. We'll stop in at the convenience store on the way."

You do feel better after you've had a sandwich and a drink. Penny ends up getting something to eat as well, even though she's had breakfast.

After you've finished your sandwiches, Penny says, "Should we go look at some clothes, or go get the skincare stuff?"

"I don't mind," you reply, truthfully, since you really don't mind.

But Penny's having none of it. "That's not an answer, hon."

You groan. "Okay, how about we explore the secondhand shop, see if we can find anything nice?"

Penny smiles. "Sounds good to me!"

Unfortunately, despite looking around for quite some time, you don't find anything really good in the secondhand shop. There are a few items that are decent, but you don't really feel like spending that much money on something you could get new at the same price.

Penny does find a nice-looking vase, but it's a bit too pricey, so she decides to leave it.

Soon after that, you both decide to go and get some lunch at a cafe.

Over lunch, Penny asks you how uni's going.

You sigh. "Well, I like my classes, and I like what I'm studying - and I'm managing to keep on top of deadlines - sort of…"

"How about the other stuff?" asks Penny. "I remember you saying that your roommates weren't exactly - understanding."

You chuckle, shaking your head. "You'd be right."

Penny leans slightly forward, a worried look on her face. "What's going on, exactly?"

"Well, they're forever hosting parties. Loud ones, too. Seriously, like, the neighbours threatened to file a noise complaint. And this is when I'm supposed to be sleeping! Then, because I'm so tired from uni and socialising, and then losing sleep because of their obnoxious partying, I legitimately can't do stuff like my laundry, or the washing-up, so the apartment's now littered with dirty laundry and dishes. Then they have the nerve to tell me to pull my own weight! I literally warned them before we all moved in together that I was autistic, and so I might need help with that sort of thing if I start to burn out, you know?"

"Gosh," mutters Penny, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I had no idea. I should've thought to ask earlier."

"You don't have to be sorry," you reply, suddenly realising what an awkward position you've accidentally put Penny into. "I shouldn't have ranted so much. And I mean, it's not all bad-"

"Hey." Penny cuts you off. "Look at me. It's not your fault, okay? If anything, it's mine, for not giving you a chance to speak up earlier. You shouldn't have to deal with that sort of stuff, especially when you need to rest."

"I guess it is kind of my fault," you admit. "I didn't want to tell the uni that I'm autistic. I felt like it would - I - I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to be seen as different, you know? Like I was in school."

"You felt like the other kids treated you different?" asks Penny.

You nod. "Yeah. And I didn't want that to happen again."

Penny doesn't reply. She seems to be wrapped up in her own thoughts, so you try to wrap yourself in yours, too.

"Careful you don't pull our dishes off the table," says Penny suddenly.

You're so surprised by this that you start giggling - and then blush when you realise that you've been pulling at the tablecloth. Penny's laughter breaks the awkward silence, which makes you feel a bit better.

"You sound like such a mum, you know," you tease.

"I am a mom," replies Penny, chuckling. Then, looking over, she adds, "I think they're going to want us out of here, now."

"Wha-" Then you realise that you've both finished eating. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should probably get going."

***********************************************************************

"Right, Y/N, you're the skincare expert," Penny says, as you pull up.

"I'm not that good," you protest. "I mean, I know the basics, but I have no idea how to set up a spa night."

Penny chuckles. "Then let's call it our own take. Now, what are the basics?"

"Er, if I remember right, it's exfoliant, moisturiser, primer, cleanser - not in that order, of course…"

Penny holds up a bottle. "Serum?"

You shrug. "I guess." Then you have a brainwave. "Oh! Face masks, of course."

Penny laughs when she sees all the different types of face mask there are. "How do you know which one to go for?"

"I was thinking the exact same thing!"

You and Penny don't talk about the roommate situation while shopping for skincare, and while you appreciate that Penny probably wants to keep the rest of this day out a light-hearted one, you can't help feeling like you overshared a bit too much.

While you're driving home, after paying for your stuff, however, Penny turns to you, and says: "You know, I've been thinking about the roommate situation, and - you don't have to agree, of course, but I was wondering if you'd maybe like to move in with me and Amelia. We've got a spare room, the house isn't too far from your college, and I promise the neighbourhood is a lot quieter than what you're putting up with right now."

Your heart immediately jumps into your throat, which consequently tightens. Penny's prepared to have me move in with her?

"I'd love to," you reply, your voice a little thick. But then you realise. "But - surely - will Amelia mind?"

"I don't think she'd mind," replies Penny. "Anyway, she isn't really in the house much now. But you can talk with her, if you want."

"And what about things like laundry, and cooking, and stuff? I'm not very good at remembering those…"

Penny laughs. "You seriously think that'd be a dealbreaker?"

You're surprised at this reaction. "My roommates get super mad at me whenever I don't clean up their mess."

"Well, I'm not your roommates, and I'm fine with helping you remember to do your laundry - and doing it for you if you forget. For dinner, Amelia and I don't really eat together, so you're pretty much fine to just eat when you get hungry."

"Well - I really don't know what to say," you remark. "You're sure, though? About me living with you?"

Penny just smiles. "If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have offered, sweetie."

"Well, in that case, I just want to make sure Amelia's fine with it. If she is, I guess I move in."

***********************************************************************

To both yours and Penny's surprise, Amelia's waiting for you at the house.

"Amelia?" Penny goes over to her. "Is everything okay?"

Amelia sighs. "Riley got sick, so the sleepover was cancelled. And I couldn't find the spare key."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. You should've called. I'd have come home sooner if I'd known. Have you had dinner?"

Amelia nods. "Yeah. At the diner."

"Well, Y/N and I haven't had dinner yet, so we're going to get some now. I know you just ate, but do you want anything?"

"No thanks, I'm good."

Once you're all inside the house, Amelia turns to you. "Hi, Y/N. You staying to dinner?"

You nod, smiling shyly. "Yeah. If that's okay with you, I mean."

Amelia nods. "It's fine by me." Then she spots the shopping bags. "What did you buy?"

You let out a nervous giggle. "Er, it's skincare. Penny and I were planning to - er, have a spa night. If-"

Amelia giggles. "It's fine by me." Then she turns back to Penny. "I'm gonna go do my homework now. I got a lot of it, and it's all in for tomorrow."

"Looks like schools haven't changed much," you remark, which makes Penny laugh.

"They sure haven't."

But then you remember, and hastily call, "Hey, Amelia, could you wait a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

But then you can't find the words to ask her. Fortunately, after you give her a look, Penny understands, and adds, "Y/N and I have something we'd like to talk to you about."

"What's it about?"

Again, you can't find the words to say it, so you leave it to Penny.

"Would you mind if Y/N moved in with us? She's been having a hard time where she's staying, roommates partying late at night, and all sorts, and so she hasn't really been able to get a break."

Amelia doesn't even hesitate. "Yeah, sure. That's fine by me." Then she goes upstairs.

You stare at Penny in surprise. "She didn't even bat an eye!"

Penny just smiles. "So, are you going to move in?"

You nod. "Yes, absolutely. - Oh, but - when would I pack up and move? I don't have that many things, but I will have to notify uni, get the paperwork done, arrange transportation…"

"We'll sort that out tomorrow," replies Penny. "For now, let's just have our dinner, and then enjoy our spa night."

***********************************************************************

Penny's better than her word. The next day, after you've had breakfast (Penny insisted that you stay the night), Penny takes you back to the uni accommodation.

You're kind of nervous on the drive yet, even though you know that your roommates will probably be out shopping or something. You're not even sure why your nervous. After all, it's not like you have to be in class, either. It is a Sunday, after all.

It's only when you open your apartment door, that you realise why you were nervous.

The place is a tip.

And a lot of it's your mess. Your mess, that you were supposed to be cleaning up, on Saturday.

"I'm so, so sorry," you gasp, your cheeks burning. "I'd completely forgotten - I was supposed to clean it up yesterday - my roommates are going to be livid when they see this…"

Penny just chuckles. "It's not that bad, hon. Let's just pack an overnight bag plus a few extra bits of stuff for now, and move the bulk of your stuff next week, when I can get some help from Pete."

You breathe a sigh of relief - before remembering your roommates. "Oh - but what about my roommates?"

Penny takes a quick look around. "Well, I don't see any food here, so I think you can just bundle your stuff into some carrier bags, and we'll deal with it at my place."

"Ok." You're pretty happy with that idea, mostly because it means you won't have to deal with your roommates for a while longer. "Actually, I was wondering if we could, you know, pack the light stuff, like clothes and toiletries, and move it out over the next week or so? I'm just a bit worried that the others might accidentally take my stuff, 'cause I forgot to label it."

"That's a good idea," replies Penny. "It also means that we might not need Pete's help next week," she adds, under her breath. You have to hide your smile at the disappointment in her tone.

"Of course," continues Penny, this time more audibly, "we could have asked Jake to help. I'm sure he'd be very happy to."

Now it's her turn to hide a smile at your blushing.

"Shut up," you mumble, trying to hide the grin that's somehow appeared on your face. "I'll - er - just - grab a few things for now, and come back for anything else later."

***********************************************************************

"Hey, pretty girl!"

Smiling as you recognise Jake's voice, you turn around to face him. "Hi."

He returns your smile. "How was your week, honey?"

Your heart jumps into your throat at his question. "Oh, uh… it was good, I guess? Uh - how was yours?"

"It was okay," replies Jake, leaning a little further forward, "but I missed you, darlin'."

You turn away so he doesn't see you blush. "No, you didn't."

"Oh, but I did."

Normally, with your poor social skills, you'd pass it off as flirting. It wouldn't be exactly out character for him, after all.

But something in his tone makes you turn around, and look at him in surprise. It sounds like he actually means what he's saying. That he missed you.

"Uh-"

Jake cuts you off before you can finish. "I'll have a Jack and Coke, by the way."

"Oh - uh, sure…" You turn to get it for him, secretly feeling a bit hurt at his sudden abruptness. Maybe you misread.

But he still manages a small smile as you hand him his drink. "Thanks, hon. See you around."

And then he's gone, before you can reply.

As the evening wears on, your eyes keep turning in Jake's direction, so much so that you accidentally forget to give someone their drink - twice.

And then you see Jimmy grinning at you. "He likes you, you know," he says suddenly.

You blush. "Shush! He'll hear you."

Jimmy shrugs. "So? It's pretty obvious. Haven't you seen the way he looks at you?"

"It's your imagination," you reply, rather shortly. "I'm not pretty enough to attract attention, especially from him."

Jimmy just smiles. "Oh, you'd be surprised."

You shake your head, trying to brush it off, but deep down, you have a feeling that he's right. And you're not really sure how to feel about that.

**********************************************************************

Part 3

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

Hi!! I loved your Jake x autistic!reader fic!! I was wondering if you'd be open to writing a Bradley x autistic!read fic next? Maybe reader goes out with the dagger squad and ends up getting a little overwhelmed/goes nonverbal but Bradley helps calm them down? No pressure if your not into the idea

Stay safe and stay hydrated <3

It's Funny How Things Can Turn Out

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

Warnings: A bit of angst, lots of fluff at the end, soft Bradley, sensory overload and consequent meltdown, mentions of autism, mild cursing, Naval inaccuracies, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drink spiking

Summary: You decide to break out of your shell for once, and go to the bar with the Dagger Squad. Things don't quite turn out how you expected them to.

"Y/N, please," begs Nat. "It's going to be fun."

You've got a very different idea of fun to her, but you don't really want to say that.

"I know Bob can't go, but Coyote can. You know Coyote."

Yeah, but not well enough to be able to cling to him like a limpet.

For that matter, you don't really know Nat that well, either, but since she's Bob's friend, you feel a bit more comfortable around her than most strangers.

You've known Bob pretty much all your life. Your mums were friends, you two were friends in school, and even though you're not an aviator, you've always tended to stick around Bob.

He's the type who'll let you cling to him like a limpet in a social situation, but unfortunately, he's got a cold tonight, and can't go to the bar. You were fine with that, partly because it would give you an excuse to miss the Friday night torture get-together at The Hard Deck.

Nat means well, of course. She knows you're shy, and that you're pretty introverted, but she just doesn't seem to understand that your social battery isn't up to coping with strangers today, and that you'd rather take care of Bob than socialise with a load of strangers.

"Bob's not that sick, you know. He just doesn't want to spread it on to the rest of us."

"I know," you mutter. "I guess I'd just feel better if-"

Nat shakes her head. "You need to get out of your shell a bit, Y/N. You'll be fine, okay? It'll be fun."

Your brain is screaming at you. Don't do it, Y/N! Don't!

But you don't want to disappoint Nat, so you nod. "I guess so."

Nat smiles. "Great! We'll go to the bar in about forty-five minutes."

Wait, what?

But Nat's already let herself out before you can say anything.

This is not good.

The bar is so crowded that you're convinced there's more carbon dioxide than oxygen in the air - which could explain why you're finding it difficult to breathe.

It's so boiling hot that you're already sweating, and the noise is starting to get to you - already.

Nat doesn't seem to notice as she pulls you through the crowd, towards the pool table.

"Hey, Phoenix!" calls a guy - Coyote, you remember. You've met him a couple of times, and he's always been nice to you.

Coyote smiles when he sees you. "Hey, Y/N. How's it going?"

You want to reply, but your mouth's too dry, so you just nod, force a smile, and hope that he doesn't think you're being rude.

"Who's this?" Another guy's come up to Coyote.

Wait, is he talking to Coyote, or me? you wonder. You don't want to appear rude, but your mouth feels like sandpaper, and it's impossible to even try to form words, let alone say them.

To add to it all, your social battery is on the verge of dying, which has lowered your sensory tolerance considerably.

Fortunately, Nat comes to your rescue. "This is Y/N," she says. "Y/N, this is Bagman."

"Hangman," protests the other guy.

A few other aviators arrive, Nat makes some more introductions - and then abandons you to go and get some drinks for everyone.

Where am I supposed to go? you wonder.

Normally, you and Bob would sit in a little niche near the pool table. As luck would have it, that little niche is empty, but there are people blocking your way, who you'd have to push past to get there.

The bar's getting more and more crowded by the second. People are squeezed so close together that they're touching. You can feel strangers brushing past you as they go to get their drinks.

Normally, it would just annoy you, but tonight, you have to physically force yourself to hold it together every time you feel the light tickling touch of a stranger brushing past you.

Everything's becoming too much to handle. The noise, which bothered you even at first, is now a deafening roar that drowns out individual sounds, the smell of alcohol is giving you a headache, the lights are hurting your eyes…

You need out. Right now.

Somewhere over the roar, you hear a yell. "Bradshaw! Over here!"

In desperation, you clamp your hands over your ears. It helps a little, being able to block out most of the noise, but the light's still hurting your eyes, the smell of alcohol is still giving you a headache, and people are still touching you as they walk past.

Fortunately, you're still in the vicinity of Bob's friends, so you watch them to try and calm yourself.

You should go over and say hi, you know, you tell yourself.

But there are too many people blocking the way, and anyway, you're too shy to go over. The thing is, you can put a name to his face, but you've never actually been introduced.

Another person pushes past you, more roughly than the rest, which makes one of your hands slip off your ear.

All the noise comes pouring back in, and it's all you can do not to make a run for it.

You back into the wall, hands clamped over your ears again, looking desperately for an escape.

But the only way out is the door you came in, and that's blocked by loads of strangers, all so close together that you'd have to push past.

Your heart's pounding in your ears. You can still hear some of the roar, but at least it's somewhat muted now that your hands are blocking it. You shut your eyes, trying desperately to hold it together.

Then you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you open your eyes to see Bradley standing in front of you, looking worried.

You don't hear what he says, but you know it's something along the lines of, "Are you okay?"

You shake your head.

Bradley's face softens. He says something else, and then points to the door.

You nod, hoping he's asking if you want to leave.

Bradley wraps a protective arm around you as he walks you out. Somehow, he manages to shield you from being too jostled as he pushes through the crowd.

Once you're outside, Bradley takes you to a bench a little way outside the bar. Even with your hands over your ears, you notice how nice and quiet it is outside.

Slowly, you take your hands off your ears, before turning to Bradley, who's sitting next to you.

"You okay, sweetie?" he asks softly. "You seemed pretty overwhelmed back there."

You want to give him a rational answer, explain calmly and clearly that you're autistic, that it was sensory overload, and that you just need time to recharge.

But instead, you start to cry. Today's just been too much for you to handle, and now that you're suddenly in a safe space, you just can't keep it together.

"Hey, it's okay." Bradley puts his hand on your arm, gently stroking up and down. "You're safe."

You want to lean into his touch, and allow yourself to cry, but you suddenly realise just how awkward this situation must be for him. As soon as you realise, you try hard to choke back your sobs.

You idiot! you scream at yourself. You're crying in front of one of Bob's aviator friends. Do you know how humiliating this will be for him if he finds out? And how awkward this is for his other friends?

You're so busy berating yourself, and trying to choke back your sobs that you don't realise you've started picking at your hands. It's a habit you've gotten into, to try and stop yourself from getting emotional in public.

Bradley notices what you're doing. He doesn't say anything about it, but gently takes your hands in his.

"Do you need anything, sweetie?" he asks softly.

You bite your lip. What you really want is a hug, but when you try to speak, nothing comes out.

You've gone nonverbal.

This isn't the first time it's happened, but it's the first time it's happened in public without either your mum or Bob to help you.

You hastily dig in your pocket for your phone, before opening a text app, and typing something out before handing it to Bradley.

Bradley's face softens when he sees what you've typed.

Can I have a hug?

"Oh, sweetheart. Come here."

You shuffle closer to him on the bench, letting him wrap his arms around you, and hold you close.

It's been so long since you've had a proper hug that you've almost forgotten what it feels like. Some more tears trickle down your cheeks, but you let them fall this time.

It takes a while, but you do manage to calm down. Pulling away, you sniffle, wipe your eyes - and then a wave of embarrassment hits you.

I'm sorry that had to be so awkward for you, you type. Dragging you away from your friends and all. Please don't tell Bob - or the others. They'll probably never forgive me.

Bradley frowns, and shakes his head. "It's okay, sweetheart. I just wanted to help. And the others weren't mad at you, you know. They were just worried."

You sit in silence for a bit, wondering whether to go back in or not, before finally saying, "If you, um, if I go back in, can I - um - stay with you? Just, like, while we're in the bar?"

Bradley smiles. "That's fine." He pauses for a moment before adding, "You're Bob's friend, right?"

You nod. "My name's Y/N L/N."

"Mine's Bradley Bradshaw. My callsign's Rooster, but you can call me either."

You smile shyly. "Okay."

"You feel ready to go back in?" asks Bradley.

You nod. "Yeah, I guess…"

Bradley raises an eyebrow. "You sure? I don't want to force you."

"No, it's - it's fine. The 'I guess', is just kind of what I say, if you get what I mean."

"Right." Bradley stands up, and holds out a hand to help you up.

You take it, and stand up.

As you both head back to the bar, you suddenly realise that maybe the Friday night get-together at the bar didn't have to be torture.

After all, Bradley was kind to you, even though he only knew you through Bob, so maybe the others won't be so bad either.

You smile as you glance up at Bradley. You'd have never guessed that this evening, which started so badly, could get better just because of someone's kindness. It looks like being a good night after all.

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

Maybe We Can Be Friends

My first fic! Not requested, but I thought it was a nice idea for a story, so here you go.

Pairing: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

5.56K words

Warnings: A bit of angst, lots of fluff at the end, soft Jake, Penny being an awesome best friend, sensory overload and consequent meltdown, mentions of autism, mild cursing, mentions of a failed relationship, Naval inaccuracies, mentions of vomiting, mentions of alcohol, spoilers for Top Gun Maverick

Summary: You hate the cocky, blond pilot that’s always at The Hard Deck. He rubs you up the wrong way, distracts you while you’re trying to work, and generally makes a nuisance of himself. But things start to change very quickly after you find out a surprising truth about him. (Not quite enemies to lovers, more enemies to cordial friends (potentially lovers in the future).)

(A/N: Sorry, I'm bad at writing summaries)

It’s been a long day. Not in a bad way; you like university, and you like studying something that you actually enjoy, but your hyper-social classmates’ party culture does get a bit much sometimes.

At least you won’t be at any party tonight, though. You have a shift at The Hard Deck every night, which keeps you away from the noise in your apartment while the party rages on.

“Hey, Y/N!” calls Penny, as you enter. “How was college?”

You half-smile. “Okay, I guess. Lost my focus during a lecture, but fortunately I recorded it on my phone, so I don’t think I’m likely to fail the end-of-week test.”

Penny smiles. “That’s good.” As you follow her behind the counter, she adds, “We’ve got a new set of Navy pilots tonight.”

“How long are they staying?” you ask.

“A couple weeks, maybe a month.”

“The standard,” you clarify.

“That’s right.” Penny hands you a sponge. “Could you wash those glasses for me, hun? I was pretty busy today, and I didn’t get time to get everything ready before you arrived.”

“Oh, er, sure.” You start washing while Penny checks the drink dispensers to make sure they’re working.

There aren’t that many glasses to clean, and you’ve got them cleaned and dried in less than ten minutes. Stacking them into two piles, and picking up one pile in each hand, you put them away below the counter.

Once you’re done, Penny sets a glass of Coke in front of you. “Here you go.” She laughs at your surprised face. “I had to make sure it was working, you know.”

“So this is a test drink?”

“Yup.” Penny checks that you have enough canned drinks to last the evening. “You don’t have to pay for that one.”

You chuckle, turning your attention to the door. Ever since Penny had learned about your caffeine addiction (brought on by too much late-night studying), she always made sure you had enough Coke to last you through the evening, and she never let you pay for it.

Glancing up at the clock, Penny hurries over to the front of the bar. “It’s five, which means we are officially open,” says Penny, flipping over the open/closed sign in the front window.

Fortunately, the earlier hour or so isn’t too busy, which gives the caffeine plenty of time to kick in, so by the time the new set of Navy pilots arrive, you’re buzzing.

Glancing over, you notice Penny deep in conversation with a dark older guy, who she seems to know from somewhere. You know you can easily hold the fort while buzzing with your own brand of liquid courage, so you let her keep chatting.

You’ve been working at The Hard Deck for a few weeks now, and while being a bartender isn’t your go-to job, it works for now, especially as Penny has no tolerance for anyone disrespecting women.

Behind you, you hear a bell ringing, and you turn to see that the unfortunate who has to pay for tonight’s drinks - is none other than the guy Penny was just talking to.

You give her a questioning look as she joins you, but she doesn’t look upset. In fact, there’s a playful, teasing light in her eyes that you’ve never noticed before.

“Do you know him?” you ask.

“Later,” she replies.

“Penny, m’dear!” calls a voice. You turn to see a blond pilot, with what looks like a perpetual smirk. ‘Seresin’, his name tag reads.

Penny’s busy elsewhere, so you go over to him. “Yeah?”

“Or you’ll do just as well.” He smirks at you. “I’ll have four more on the old-timer.”

You try not to snort at his cheek. “Sure.” Handing him the beers, you turn to see if there’s anyone else you can serve.

“Haven’t seen you before,” remarks Seresin. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing here?”

“That’s none of your business,” you say, your voice a little sharper than you intended.

“Oho, she’s a feisty one!” chuckles Seresin. “What’s your name, pretty girl?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” you ask.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Fortunately, the arrival of another pilot distracts Seresin before he can annoy you further. Sighing, you get yourself another drink of Coke. It looks like a long night.

“You okay?” asks Penny, going over to the card reader.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Just one annoying guy.”

“Did he do anything?”

You shake your head. “He was just cocky and annoying. Rubbed me up the wrong way. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure.” Penny taps the card she’s holding. Declined.

You giggle. “Is that his card? The guy who’s buying a round?”

Penny laughs. “Yep. Unless he’s got cash, he’s getting thrown out.”

Sure enough, a few minutes later, you hear the yell go up.

“Overboard! Overboard!”

You don’t join in, but you do watch with amusement as the guy’s carried outside and thrown onto the sand.

Your amusement fades, however, when Seresin (who was one of the guys taking part) winks at you as he goes past the counter. You know that a wink is nothing compared to what he could have done, but it does annoy you enough for you to chug yet another Coke.

Fortunately, he doesn’t stay too long afterwards, and the rest of the night is uneventful.

*****************************************************

You wake up feeling sick. Really sick. Sick as in, you’re going to throw up.

The minute you feel the bile rise in your throat, you jump out of bed, sprinting to the bathroom - and arrive just in time as your guts begin emptying themselves into the toilet.

Once you’ve finished throwing up, you flush the toilet, leaning back against the wall. Must’ve drank too much Coke last night, you think.

Normally, you’re pretty careful about what you eat from a food safety point of view, so you don’t think it’s food poisoning. Just in case, though, you call in sick at uni, and decide to spend the rest of the day at home.

Once you’ve called your uni, you realise you should probably call Penny, and let her know you won’t be at the bar tonight.

So, you dial her number, and wait for her to answer.

It doesn’t take long before you hear her cheery voice on the other end. “Hi, Y/N. You’re calling early. Is everything okay?”

Help, you think. You hate talking on the phone, but you don’t want to text in case she doesn’t see it in time. “Uh, hi, Penny. Just, uh, letting you know I won’t be able to make it to the - um, the bar tonight.”

“Oh, no. Why? Are you okay?”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes at Penny’s genuine concern. “I, uh, threw up, like, a few minutes ago. I don’t know if it’s, um, food poisoning, but I thought it was better, to - er, stay off, you know? Just in case.”

“Yeah, that’s fine, hon. Jimmy and I can manage for a couple nights. You want me to come around and help you out?”

You bite your lip nervously. You do like spending time with Penny, but you really don’t want her to get sick - and you also feel too gross to have guests around. “Oh, no, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine, honestly.”

“You sure? If it’s because you’re worried about me getting sick…”

Your face burns. How does she know me so well? “It kind of is, yeah. And I also - I just - I’m kind of gross right now. I don’t want you to, you know, have to deal with my, um, grossness.”

You hear Penny chuckle on the other end. “Y/N, you’re forgetting that I’m a mom. I’ve seen it all, trust me. You won’t gross me out.”

“But what about you getting sick?”

“If I was worried about that, I wouldn’t have offered, hon.”

“Um…” You consider for a moment, still unsure. “Okay, you can come, if you want.”

“I’ll be there in a couple minutes. Hang in there!”

You sigh with relief as you hang up. You haven’t had a stomach bug in years, and so you never really thought to look up what to do. (Plus, the WiFi’s down again, because you accidentally kicked the router over last night, and you haven’t had a chance to fix it.)

This isn’t the first time Penny’s helped you out. As well as being colleagues, you and Penny are also friends. Best friends.

Penny was the one who’d sorted you out when you first arrived in town, got you set up with accommodation, a job, showed you where the local shops were, and working at The Hard Deck was one way that you could say thank you to her.

When Penny arrives, she takes one look at you, and orders you into bed.

“Penny, I was just going to-”

“Bed, Y/N, now. You need to rest if you’re not feeling well, okay? I’ll take care of everything else.”

You’re not really that sorry to be back in your nice warm bed, letting someone else fuss over you. Especially if it’s Penny. You’re not sure if it’s just the mother in her, or if she’s always been such a caring person, but she is a great nurse.

Once she’s got you tucked into bed, Penny says, “I’m going to make you some tea, okay? I’ll just add some sugar, no milk.”

“I don’t really know if I can handle sugar,” you reply.

“Even just tea will help settle your stomach. I’ll get you some soup when you’re feeling a bit better, okay? Stay there, and don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

You don’t want to move anyway. Your stomach hurts from the throwing up, and you feel weak and exhausted. Is this what it’s like to have a fever? you wonder.

When Penny comes back, she has the promised tea, and a thermometer. “Realised I should probably check your temperature first,” she explains, slipping the thermometer under your arm before you can reply.

“This is, like, the first time in ten years that this has happened,” you mutter.

Penny raises an eyebrow. “Being taken care of?”

“Having a stomach bug.”

“Right.” Penny takes a look at the thermometer. “Your temperature’s normal.”

“Seriously? I was convinced-”

Penny laughs. “Let me guess, you tried to take your own temperature with the back of your hand.”

“Maybe,” you mutter. “I guess my hand isn’t that good at detecting temperatures.”

Penny points to the forgotten cup. “Try to drink some tea.”

“It’ll burn my mouth if I drink it right now.”

Penny shakes her head. “I made it so that it was lukewarm. I figured you didn’t want a hot liquid going into your stomach when you’re feeling this fragile.”

“Oh. Right. Thanks.” You take a sip. The tea’s pretty watery and bland, but that’s good. You probably couldn’t handle anything stronger than weak tea right now anyway.

And it does work to settle your stomach. It takes a while, but your stomach does finally stop churning, and you can relax.

You spend most of the day curled up in bed, watching trashy Netflix movies, while Penny takes care of you, making sure you eat at least a couple spoonfuls of soup at regular intervals to keep your stomach settled.

By teatime, you’re feeling well enough that you tell Penny she can probably open the bar without needing to worry about you.

She looks sceptical at first. “Are you sure, sweetie? I don’t have to open the bar, I could just look after you.”

You shake your head. “It’s not fair for me to make you lose out on a night’s income, and obviously Jimmy won’t be able to manage singlehanded. The aviators will probably be looking forward to their drinks. I’ve been in bed all day; I’ll be fine for the night.”

“Okay,” says Penny, “but sleep on your side, and promise you’ll call me if you’re suddenly feeling worse.”

“Promise,” you reply. “Thanks for looking after me today.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” says Penny. “What are friends for?”

*****************************************************

“Hey, pretty girl!” calls a voice.

You groan inwardly as you recognise Seresin’s obnoxious timbre. “Need anything?”

He ignores your question, leaning forward to gaze into your eyes rather more deeply than you would have liked. “Missed you last night.”

“I didn’t miss you.” You were on your third glass of Coke, which had made you rather more blunt than usual. “Do you need anything?”

“Were you okay?” Seresin persists, but the smirk on his face gives you the impression that he doesn’t really care about your wellbeing.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh, come on. Do I have to?”

“Yes. There is a queue behind you, which you’re holding up, and I’m not answering your question until you answer mine. Now answer me or get out.”

Seresin’s smirk widens. “Jack and Coke.” As you hand him his drink, he adds, “Now where were you?”

“I was sick,” you say. “Sick in bed with a stomach bug. Now go away, you’re holding up the queue.”

“You were sick?” Was it your imagination, or did you catch a faint glimmer of concern?

Whatever it was, all it did was make you angrier. “Will you have the goodness to go away, or do I have to ring the bell?”

He puts his hand up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m moving. Geez, you ask one question…”

You sigh in exasperation as he moves away.  Idiot.

Penny, seeing your irritation, slips you another glass of Coke, which you drink gratefully. You have a feeling you're not going to sleep tonight.

*****************************************************

It's a few days later when you next meet up with Penny, this time at the beach.

“Mav's doing something with the pilots, and I thought you might just like some fresh air.”

You pause, but take her up on the offer. After all, you don't often go out for fun, and American beaches are quite nice.

So, after getting dressed, and cracking open your first can of Coke, you take a leisurely walk to the beach, taking your time, appreciating - well, everything, really. You have a friend in Penny, you're studying something you love, you live in a nice area…

You really are lucky.

Penny waves from one of the outdoor tables as you approach. “Hey, Y/N! How's it going?”

“It's going good,” you reply, sitting down opposite her. “What about you?”

“Oh, same old, same old,” smiles Penny.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, until you finally work up the courage to ask, “So, who is ‘Mav’?”

“His name's actually Captain Pete Mitchell, and his callsign is Maverick.”

“Are you friends or something?”

Penny smiles. “We go way back. I knew him before he was even in Top Gun. That was back in the ‘70s and early ‘80s. He joined in ‘86; we'd already broke off contact around ‘84.” She notices the question you're about to ask, and laughs. “And yes, we were dating. We've kind of had an on-again, off-again relationship.”

“Right,” you nod. Feeling like you should probably contribute to the conversation a bit more, you add, “I've never dated, but a guy that I liked went off with another girl and it - well, at the time, I thought it broke my heart, and so I thought, never again. But I am a bit more open to the idea now.”

“It must've been hard, though. I know it was for me, every time, even though he consistently broke my heart.”

“It wasn't as bad as it might have been, to be honest. I was just a kid at the time, so I kind of made it out to be this big deal when it really wasn't.” You smile. “And since I'm very happy being single, I absolutely forbid you to feel sorry for me.”

Penny smiles. “That's good, that you've moved on. There'll be others, you know, and maybe you'll meet the one someday.”

You shrug. “I don't know if I do want to, you know. I think there's something to be said for being single.”

“Oh, there is,” agreed Penny.

“-and anyway, even if I did meet him…” You break off, your face burning, unsure of whether to continue.

“Wben if you did?” prompted Penny gently.

You pause for a moment before dropping your voice to a whisper. “I - I'm autistic - obviously you know that already. It's pretty hard for me to navigate even friendships and family, you know, so how much harder would it be navigating a romantic relationship?”

Penny reaches over to rest a hand on your arm. “It must be hard, feeling like that.”

You shrug. “It is. I just - I don't know… I just don't want to put the burden on someone else, of having to deal with my moods and not being able to go certain places. It's just - I feel like - I just don't think it would end well - for all parties involved. And it's not like I'm burning with passion, you know; like I said, I'm happy being single.”

You sit in silence for several minutes, but it's not awkward. Penny's a very kind and understanding lady, and she has this way of not making you feel judged, even though you've shared something that people can and do judge.

“How's your stomach feeling?” Penny asks suddenly.

“It's pretty much better,” you reply. “I'm still not sure what caused it, though. It can't have been the Coke, because I had loads the last time I was at the bar, and I didn't get sick. And I'm pretty careful about what I eat, from a food safety standpoint.”

“It was probably just one of those things,” says Penny.

“Yeah. One of life's mysteries.” You turn your attention to the ball game on the beach.

A load of shirtless men playing with a couple of American footballs. There was Seresin - darn him - a moustached guy you'd seen a couple times, a guy with glasses - the only one still wearing his shirt…

“Hangman's been giving you a hard time, isn't he?” says Penny suddenly.

“What? - Oh, yeah. D'you mean that blond smirking idiot?”

Penny chuckles. “You could call him that. One of the other pilots calls him Bagman.”

“Because he's a dirtbag?”

Penny laughs again. “He's annoying, that's for sure, but I don't know that I'd go that far, hon.”

“Didn't you see him holding up the queue on - when was it now? - Wednesday?”

“I noticed it was backing up a bit. What took him so long?”

“He apparently wanted to inquire about my health. As if I was going to tell him! I gave him several pieces of my mind, and then told him to pick a drink or get out.”

Penny laughed. “That might teach him a lesson, huh? Don’t mess with a heavily caffeinated Y/N!”

You laugh. “Yeah, that stuff is surprisingly potent. It's a good thing I never liked the taste of alcohol, or he might not have gone away with just a verbal thrashing!”

“And you'd have probably ended up in hospital!” added Penny. “But seriously, try not to let him get to you. I know it's pretty much impossible to ignore a guy like that, but if he does overstep a boundary, or annoy you too much, there's always the bell, you know.”

You half-smile. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, Penny.”

Looking over, you notice that one of the guys has left the ball game.

“Looks like Mav's left the game,” remarks Penny. “Hey, Mav!” she calls. “Come over here!”

Turning in your direction, Mav grins, gets up, and goes over to you. “Hey, Penny. Who's your friend?”

“This is Y/N. Y/N, this is Mav.”

“That's Captain Mitchell!” protests Mav, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Um - yeah, hi,” you mutter, smiling shyly.

“You been in San Diego long?”

You consider. “Um, about a month, I think.”

“How long you known Penny? You two seem pretty close.”

“A couple years,” says Penny, but doesn't clarify further.

“Hey, Mav!” someone yells from the beach.

You turn to see who spoke, and - oh, of all the miserable luck!

It's that Seresin. Or Hangman, as Penny calls him. And you'd love to hang him right now. How much did he hear? you wonder.

“Oh, hey, it's pretty girl!” he says, coming over to you. “How you doin’, hon?

Go away. You glare at him, refusing to answer.

“Oho, that won't do, hon. I asked a question.” He crouches down to your level. “How's your stomach?”

“What?” You're so shocked at the audacity of his question that you forget to blank him.

“You mentioned you weren't well. A stomach bug.”

“Oh, that. Well, I was fine until now, and will - you - go - away?”

“C'mon, sweets. I came over here to be nice, and all I get in return is this?”

I don't think you could ever be nice, you think, even angrier than before because he's making your heart behave strangely. It's jumping about in quite a disconcerting fashion.

You shoot a pleading look at Penny, who, understanding your predicament at once, says, “Y/N and I were just going, actually. Goodbye.”

As you walk off, Penny gives your hand a sympathetic squeeze. “It's okay, Y/N. He didn't hear us.”

“I didn't think he did,” you mutter. “I just - he's so irritating! Pretending to care about my health when I know he couldn't give one, that stupid smile, his stupid good looks…”

“I think you're having a sugar crash, hon,” replies Penny. “You're never this moody.”

“I probably am,” you agree. “I wonder how long that set of pilots has before they leave.”

“Another few weeks, I think. D'you think you can hold out that long?”

You sigh. “Hopefully. So long as that Seresin stays away, our feud might remain bloodless.”

Penny chuckles. “A feud? He's been here, what? A week? You barely know him!”

“I don't really know what else to call it,” you admit.

Penny just smiles. “Come in and have some Coke, and we'll talk girl things to keep your mind off him.”

*****************************************************

Fortunately, after the little scene on the beach, Seresin keeps his distance. He still smirks at you whenever you catch his eye (or he catches yours), and you still find him annoying, but at least he doesn't directly interact with you.

His stupid smirking does distract you while you're trying to work, though. You've messed up more orders in the past few weeks than ever before, and the worst of it is, the more you see of him, the more he grows on you.

It's just because of his good looks, you think at first. He is pretty handsome, although you'd never admit that to anyone, not even Penny.

You do think it's a shame that he's so annoying, though, because he seems like he's got the potential to be nice and friendly. You've seen how he interacts with the likes of Coyote, and sure, he's got a big ego, but at the same time, he and Coyote do actually seem to have a friendship dynamic. 

The next big event that happens is an Admiral's funeral. You don't actually know the family, but Penny attends, so you figure she probably knows them from somewhere, although you don't ask.

It's sometime soon after the funeral when you next see Mav. You and Penny are working harder than usual at the bar, because it's Jimmy's night off.

It's when you notice her straighten up out of the corner of your eye that you realise Mav's there. He's wearing his dress whites, and looking more serious than when you met him at the beach.

“You go on, Pen,” you whisper. “I can take care of things until you get back.”

Penny looks sceptical. “You sure, Y/N?”

You nod. “I'm caffeinated enough to handle anything. A busy bar is no problem.”

Penny's only out for a few minutes, but she comes back looking pretty serious. You don't ask right then and there, but you do afterwards.

“Mav's been selected as the mission team leader,” explains Penny.

You don't fully understand Navy jargon, but you know enough to understand that this might be the last time Penny ever sees Mav.

You don't really know what to say, so you give her a hug instead. You're not really used to hugging, so it's a bit awkward, but Penny appreciates it, and tells you so.

“Do - do you want me to stay with you tomorrow?” you ask. “I could get the day off from uni…”

Penny shakes her head. “That's very sweet of you, but I'll be fine. You need to keep on top of your studies.”

“Okay,” you reply. “I - uh, guess I'll see you around?”

“Yeah, see you. And thank you.”

You turn in surprise. “Thank you?”

“For being so supportive. I know you don't find it easy helping people when they're - like this, but it does help. A lot.”

Although you're still not sure you helped, you do feel better that Penny, at least, thinks you did.

But once you're in bed at home, you're suddenly struck with the realisation that Seresin's going on this mission. What if he doesn't come back?

And even if he does, he's going to be transferred somewhere else soon.

And you don't like that thought. You don't like it one little bit.

*****************************************************

Today is going to be a bad day. That's your first thought when you realise you're all out of Coke. You'd meant to get some at the shop last night, but you'd been so emotionally drained from a long night at the bar plus helping Penny that you completely forgot.

And now you're running late. Too late to go and pick up some Coke at a convenience store.

You lose your focus during your first lesson, and get shouted at for not paying attention. You're so upset and rattled by this that you end up finding it difficult to focus for the rest of the day, leading to panic-studying during free periods…

It's just not your day.

You've been placing all your money on the hope that the bar will be quiet, at least until you've fully caffeinated yourself.

Unfortunately, you're late, and as you walk up to the bar, you notice that it's heaving even at this early hour. The bar’s just opened!

“Hey,” Penny greets you, but she seems a bit preoccupied. “Mav's lot stormed the bar before it was even open,”  she explains. “They wanted to celebrate the success of the mission. You can leave if it's too much for you. I won’t be mad.”

You shake your head. “No, I'll stay. I just need some caffeine and I'll be fine.”

Penny looks a bit sceptical. “If you're sure. The offer still stands. You leave at any time you need, no questions asked, I'll still pay you the full amount, and I won't be mad.”

“Thanks,” you whisper, wondering if maybe you should take her up on the offer right now, before any disasters happen.

But the stubborn part of you, the part that often makes your life more difficult than necessary overrules the others. I will not be set back by something so stupid. I will finish my shift like a normal person, and I will not have a meltdown.

But that's easier said than done. As the night rages on, and the bar gets busier and busier - where are all these people coming from? - you surely regret not backing out when you had the chance.

Sure, you still have the chance, but you'd feel bad about leaving Penny and Jimmy to deal with all these people.

It's okay, you tell yourself. These are just crowds, you've been in crowds before, you can handle this.

But no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, you know deep down that it's all a lie. You can't handle crowds well, you're not okay, you need out.

“Y/N?” It's Penny, looking worried. “Are you okay? Do you need to take a walk?”

You shake your head. “I'm fine.” It's a lie, of course. But you're determined to push through, to really earn your pay.

The last straw finally falls when you hear a glass smash, and a yell go up. Suddenly, everything becomes too much for you. The background noise becomes a deafening roar, the crowd seems to be trying to crush the air out of your lungs, the heat becomes intolerable, and you feel panic - no, terror - rising in your chest.

You grab Jimmy's arm in your panic. When he sees you're in sensory overload, he springs into action immediately, taking your arm, leading you out of the bar, and into the back room, before going to find Penny.

You sit there, curled up with your knees up to your chin, rocking back and forth, willing yourself not to cry.

“Hey, you okay?”

You jump at the sound of Seresin's unmistakable voice, your mind immediately beginning to race. No, no, no! Why did it have to be that Seresin?

“Go away,” you mumble, your voice cracking on the last word. You can feel the tears slipping down your cheeks. Not wanting Seresin to see you cry, you bury your face in your knees.

“Hey, what's wrong, hon? Why are you crying?”

You shake your head violently, burying your face further into your knees, hoping he'll take the hint and go away.

But instead, you feel his hand on your shoulder. “Was it something I said? Please, don't cry, hon. I didn't mean to upset you.”

His voice has a different quality to it now; it's soft, gentle, concerned. It's like he actually cares about you.

And that's why you look up, tears still streaming down your face, which intensify when you see the tender concern written all over Seresin's face.

He's kneeling beside you, watching you with suspiciously glassy eyes. “What happened, sweets? Did someone hurt you?”

You shake your head, trying to regain some semblance of control over yourself, eventually managing to choke out something about sensory overload.

Seresin's face softened. “Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. What can I do to help?”

You're so shocked by the question that you burst into a fresh load of tears.

“Oh, no, don't, please…” Seresin puts his hand on your shoulder, rubbing up and down your upper back, trying to soothe you.

It takes some time, but finally, you calm down enough to the point where you're only letting out a few hiccuping sobs at regular intervals.

“Better?” asks Seresin.

You nod slowly, still trying to grasp what's just happened.

“Anything else I can do?”

You pause, uncertain for a moment, feeling like your request sounds stupid. But when you look into his eyes, you see nothing but tender concern.

“C-can I - have a - a hug?” you ask tentatively.

Seresin nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “C'mere, sweets.”

You scooch closer to him, letting him wrap his arms around you, and just hold you. A few tears trickle down your cheeks, and you sniffle a bit, but you're quiet for the most part, just enjoying the feeling of having someone else hold you.

“Y/N? Oh, sweetie, are you okay?”

You look up to see Penny standing over you, filled with worry.

“When Jimmy told me you'd had a sensory overload… Oh, honey, you've been crying. I'm so sorry, the bar's been so busy tonight, or I'd have come sooner.”

You're not really sure how to respond to her outburst, but you mutter something along the lines of, “It's fine…” Emboldened by the sound of your own voice, you add, “Seresin took care of me while you were gone.”

“I can see that,” replies Penny. “You okay now?”

You nod. “I'm not going to cry, if that's what you mean.”

“Hey, I could take you home, if you want,” says Seresin.

You bite your lip. “It's very kind of you, but…”

You glance nervously at Penny, who, understanding, takes up the sentence. “Her roommates like to party in the evening.”

“Some roommates,” mutters Seresin. “Y'know, I could take you anyplace that relaxes you, then take you to your apartment afterwards?”

“Um…” You glance at Penny again.

She smiles and nods. “It's okay; he's safe.”

So you turn back to Seresin with an, “Um, okay.”

He grins. “Great!”

As you make your way through the bar, Seresin keeps you close, with a protective arm around your shoulders.

The other pilots give you funny looks, but Seresin just waves them away, pulling you a little closer as he does so.

Once you're outside the bar, Seresin takes you to his truck. “So, where are we headed?”

You bite your lip, blushing. “Uh, I don't know…”

He smiles. “It's okay. We'll find somewhere to go.”

As you get into the truck, he suddenly adds, “Y'know, I never did catch your name.”

“Oh, er, it's Y/N L/N.”

“Nice name. Mine's Jake. Jake Seresin, callsign Hangman, but you can call me Jake.”

“Okay… Jake.” It feels weird calling him by his first name, but it's a nice kind of weird.

As he pulls away from the car park, you think about how strangely this day has turned out. It started off so terribly, but looks like it's going to end well.

Jake glances over, smiling at you. It's a kind smile, not his usual smirk, and his voice is gentler than usual when he says, “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I like this shy side of you.”

You smile shyly. “This is how I normally am.”

“What about those times you yelled at me?”

“I drink a lot of caffeine. It makes me more assertive.”

Jake chuckles. “Right.”

As he drives, you relax back into your seat, wondering what changed about Jake to make him so nice all of a sudden. You've never seen this kind, caring side of him before, but you like it, and you hope very much that it will last.

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Part 2

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