Whenever People Say That They Dont Think The Crows Act Like Teenagers I Have To Laugh Because. Like.

Favourite/Funniest Lines From Six of Crows

"I am a businessman," he 'd told her. "No more, no less." "You are a thief, Kaz." "Isn't that what I just said?"

"I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time."

"Go tell your general to keep the Black Tips out of Fifth Harbor and that we expect him to make amends for the shipment of jurda we lost, plus five percent for drawing steel on neutral ground and five percent more for being such a spectacular bunch of asses."

"Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid."

"Really, Jesper? If I want to watch men dig holes to fall into, I 'll find myself a cemetery."

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

"I had a question. About your mother and whether the rumors are true."

"I won't trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces, Kaz."

"You wouldn't know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth."

"Also the proper way to fold a napkin and dance a minute. Oh and you can play the flute. Marketable skills, merchling. Marketed skills." "No one dances the minuet anymore."

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" "Gun to the back?" "Poison in his cup?" "You are all horrible."

"Moose is probably your native tongue."

"I don't need a nursemaid." "More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night that's your business."

"I am glad I am bleeding all over your shirt." "I'll put it in your tab."

"Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I 'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost." Brekker's lips quirked. "I 'll just hire Matthias's ghost to kick your ghost's ass." "My ghost won't associate with your ghost." Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

"I am going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me." "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what the big players do." "You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to..."

"Wake up you miserable lump of muscle."

"It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet, there you stand."

"Just flip it open to the back." "So?" "Hold it up so we don't have to look at your ugly face."

"And I can tell you 've never given thought to your haircut."

"Nina is everything you say. It's too much." "Mmm, maybe you are just not enough."

"Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We 're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breath air."

"What is he doing?" "Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual." "Really?" "No."

"Saints" he said. "That bad?" "No, you just have really ugly feet."

"If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face."

"How do we cross? I don't see anything." "Because you are not worthy." "I am also not nearsighted. There's nothing there."

"Yes I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake."

"If only you could to girls in equations." "Just girls?" "No, not just girls."

Djel says you're a fanatic, drunk on your own power. Come back next year.

They are in trouble. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you are about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.

"I. Should. Let. You. Die."

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you?" "Well, I do like the sound of that."

"Son of a bitch." "What is it, boss?" Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. "That little bastar-" Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck and the gold buckles in his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth. "He picked your pocket?" No one got one over Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

(Guess which path Show!Jesper went with?)

i just finished a deadly education and let me just say i adore el and orion. i love how they fall for each other but for the exact opposite reason of the way other ppl see them. el looks at loved for being a knightin shining armor who can do no wrong orion lake and goes. hes actually cringe and fail. i like that in a man. and orion lake looks at weapon of mass destruction knows multiple languages to roast you galadriel and goes shes actually kind of nice. she shares her food with me. i want to marry her i think. thinking abt them

served my duty as an autistic artist and made a bunch of autism creature reaction images

what is your eye color. what is your favorite color. what is the color that appears most frequently in your wardrobe. what color is your favorite blanket. what color is your water bottle.

rereading six of crows at seventeen is such a strange experience. like on one hand i relate to these characters, but on the other they’re out here committing intense crimes and pulling off impossible heists while i’m writing fan fiction in my room and struggling to get through the school year with my sanity intact. like.

I am never going to complain about how the Dr Stone anime adapted Stan and Xeno's petrification

They made this scene infinitely gayer and more meaningful, god bless

i think grian saw 3rd life as the most harrowing tragic experience of his life and scar saw it as a fun gay courtship ritual and they've been on wildly different pages ever since

huh my sensory issues haven't been too bad lately

(lays down to sleep)

I need to crawl out of my skin Right Now

It blows my mind the parallels that aren’t fully utilized in Tim angst fanfic

When Jason died Bruce became careless. He didn’t care about his own life. He was passively suicidal and it was because Tim forced his way in that Bruce improved at all.

But Tim wasn’t chosen by Bruce. Tim was a partner not a son, but goddamn was Tim going to pretend for as long as he could. And people hated on Tim. Tim was the perfect Robin after all. Apparently he could do not wrong, and they’re right.

Tim couldn’t do wrong because he was Batman’s partner not his son. All the other Robin’s got more leniency because they were Bruce’s son. Tim didn’t get that luxury. Tim was perfect out of necessity.

Tim was as close to being a Batman replica as could be and that’s not a good thing.

Because after Bruce “dies” Tim becomes reckless. He doesn’t care much for his life outside of finding Bruce. He’s been fired from Robin and kicked out of the family and after he brings Bruce back he doesn’t have much else to live for. Dick may have saved him from hitting the ground after he was thrown off a building, but Tim wouldn’t have cared either way.

The roles have been reversed, but who’s going to play the Robin to Tim’s Batman? Who’s going to save Tim from himself if anyone who should have noticed hasn’t?