ALSO DOES THIS NOT SEEM LIKE DEREK AND STILES TO YOU? IS THAT WHO I AM NOW? LIKE FROM COMFORT CHARACTER

have you ever been in love?

then you understand that you cannot fall out of it.

you’re arms are a hole and i know that there’s a way out

somewhere.

but loving you is a comfort that

I don’t want to part from to look.

— Warsan Shire

creepy groomer i used to work with when i was 17 started texting me again . i think he’s 28 now.

strange? does he not remember how the entire circumstance of which i let him step within the mandated 6 feet during covid was because i liked the attention from older men?

being in my 20’s just means i like them 40 and up now , not guys a mere 6 years older.

i was thinking about making a tinder just to message them and feel a rush but ik that’ll crash and burn so badly. a whole population of men with nothing to lose having a picture of my face and sweet words from me. i can already feel the fear and i’m trying to convince myself it’s a bad fear NOT a good one.

he’s messaged me twice now . just a “hey,” and I wonder what he means. Is it to get my attention , is he hoping I’ve kept the same number , is he scared of saying what he wants. does a shark announce he’s going to tear your limb from your body or does it just unhinge it’s jaw awaiting the moment where it swims close enough to snap shut?

… yeah.

"Can't two guys be just friends?" If they stop looking at each other like that then sure

dude finding dropboxes of deleted sterek fics sent me into a whole different state of mind…

like the number count of this tag on ao3 is NOT real!! there are so many fics out there and so many of us that still fucking love this ship

IN 2024??

like the amount of wips I have.. and that other people do too. we just need somewhere to put our love for them.

anyways, i might just have to create a sterek library site.

the thing about being replaced is it’s a feeling you deny up until it sits right in front of your face.

once things are clear- and you and everyone- comes to the understanding that someone else is receiving your affection, the moments already passed.

and it sucks.

a lot.

even when she deserves it because she really is that great and lovable.

she’s just better. she laughs louder, her cheeks tinge pink with it. when she does it, she turns towards you and places both hands on your forearm with a gentle grasp. you feel taken when all of her eyes and lips angle themselves towards your being. it makes your chest puff up in a proudness that only someone so great and lovable can make you do.

I’ve never been great or lovable.

I’ve always been told im too rough. my face gets serious in all the wrong moments, and i look at you with a tentative smile instead of something wide and so open to receiving anything you can give.

i have nothing to take. im so full of sadness, so tinged with blue. there’s no more marks on this canvas worth making. the picture so ugly and wide.

she’s a painting of a cloud, always pleasant to look at whether its at high morning or at sunset. all of her at any time is digestible.

and its so unfair, isn’t it? That we have the same colors and you just show them better, you just carry it lighter.

but you deserve that love, i swear it. you were born deserving, grew up deserving. so deserving no one told you different. no one beat you down to ensure you knew you were any less deserving. no one proved it to you the way they did with me.

so when i see you replaced me, I let the moment pass. i let the laughter wash the hurt right out of me.

“You never let anyone get close enough to hurt you” you said to me right before I let you close enough and right before you hurt me.

I looove that Sam is taller than Dean. It calls attention to just how fucked up their dynamic is.

It was cute how he looked up to Dean as a kid. But now that he’s a grown man, still following around his big brother?

It’s a visual reminder that he’s cramming himself into a role he should have outgrown years ago. They both are.

the wlw uniforms

It’s like the yin to my yang.