Arceus Blessed Me With This Vision

if shes your girl, then whys she breastfeeding me?

shes my girl and you are our beautiful son. welcome to the world my boy

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

What if you loved me so much it literally undoomed me haha jk unless

A rest day isn't enough. I need one billion years alone in a crystal.

i think a lot of liberals need to confront the fact that they don’t actually believe everyone should have basic human rights. a homeless person could call me every slur under the sun and i would still want them to have housing, food, etc. the belief that everyone is entitled to basic human rights should not hinge on whether you “like” someone or not. at that point the entire ideology crumbles.

angry and covered in blood link does something to a girl

Broke: Blaming Todd Howard when something goes wrong in a Bethesda game Woke: Blaming Todd Howard when something goes wrong in ANY video game

why is it that people who dont play hollow knight are the funniest about it. friend whos been watching me play sent me this headcanon of theirs

*opens the groupchat at breakfast to backread like its the morning paper*