I've Just Realised Something While I Was Scrolling Through My Gallery And I Feel So Dumb. I Drew Remus

Around this time one year and a half I entered the Marauders fandom because I had found an interesting looking audiobook in Spotify... little did I know that it was fanfiction. I'm so grateful to be in this fandom and get to know so many wonderful people with incredible minds and imagination.

I've been working on doing some of the All te Young Dudes covers and maybe one day I'll learn how to bind it all together.

I talk to the moon every night,

In her glow, I seek your smile.

But it never feels quite right,

For she’s never warm nor wild.

It’s just a Monday, like any other. They’re having eggs and toast for breakfast, the tea caramel-coloured where fresh milk offsets its rich darkness. Remus breathes across the surface and watches it ripple.

“The new Priest arrives today,” Hope says. “You should go and greet him.” Like she’s telling Remus to pick up more bread or some forgotten ingredient for their supper. Inconsequential.

And it should be. Who the Priest is in their little church makes no difference to the Lupins. Their contract with the Church is for life - as long as there is a Lupin living in the caretaker's cottage, they have a place in the Church. They barely interacted with the previous Priest anyway.

“Do you know his name yet?” Remus asks around the smell of his tea, more just to answer than out of curiosity.

“Father Sirius,” Hope says.

(The first time Remus hears it is the last time the name invokes no feelings.)

“He’s about your age, I’ve heard,” Hope continues. “It’s his first time leading a Church. Let’s be gentle to him, Cariad.”

***

And Remus complies. Or - at the least - he means to.

He heads to the Church after their breakfast. Through the old little graveyard he cares for and the roses that need trimming and the grass he’s recently mowed. Comes up to the blooming rhododendron and there stands a man.

His back is turned to Remus. Tall, posture impossibly straight, broad back. His hair is swept to the side, down one shoulder and exposing the line of his neck above a clerical collar, and the delicate arch of his ear.

That’s all Remus sees of him. The sunlight hitting his hair in such a way that the black almost turns golden - a holy man chosen by the grace of the Lord. Illuminated in the mundane morning.

Remus has never felt peace in the confines of the Church. It’s a vibrating, incessant presence for him, the knowledge that in there, Remus is known inside and out, all of his sins on display, the monster that lives within him as close to the surface as it can be outside of the light of the full moon. Scratching to get out as if coaxed forward by the promise of forgiveness Remus knows he can never be given.

There’s peace in the way Father Sirius bends to take a closer look at the blue-pink petals.

There’s something else completely in the way Remus aches to go down onto his knees. It’s nothing like when he prays.

Father Sirius never even sees him standing there, watching, until Remus runs away.

(Tiny little preview of something I’ve been working on while procrastinating from *redacted fest fic*)

Today I was out in my balcony taking photos of the sky. When I got back in I wanted to check the photos, but then I realized that I had been holding the camera so hard that I had stained it with the piant I had been using earlier, all because I wanted to protect it and keep it from falling.

When we are in situations of danger and risk we tend to try and protect our loved ones, even if this stains them.

I know how we all feel about her... but remember season 2, she was so scared and lost. I don't condone her actions but fuck they were all cult crazy in season two.

I'm tired of people hating on Atyd specially on the characterization of Remus. People often say " I hate how rude and inconsiderate he is sometimes, he would never do that" as if his personality and the way he reacts isn't a direct reflection of the hostile environment he grew up in. He didn't have anyone growing up, his father decided to leave this world and his mother left him in an orphanage where he never had anyone.

One of the most annoying things in school for me was always when the friends of my brother followed me around and tried speaking to me just because I was the sister of my brother... and you know all those jokes about sisters.

So I kind of imagine Regulus having to deal with the same, specially being Sirius so known around the castle. And it would make Regulus want to kill everyone and himself.

And this would be even funnier when James tries to talk and flirt with him and Regulus in his mind is just thinking " How many laughs will he get with this? He'll probably tell Sirius... and he'll be annoyed. Good." And my poor James is just in love.

Aftersun (2022) are Remus and Teddy and absolutely nobody can tell me otherwise.

I love my crazy wife