WHY DOES THIS HAVE LESS THAN 100 LIKES! THIS IS MY FAV FIC OUT OF ALL IM SOBBING 😭💞💞💞💓💓

WHY DOES THIS HAVE LESS THAN 100 LIKES! THIS IS MY FAV FIC OUT OF ALL IM SOBBING 😭💞💞💞💓💓

To Build a Home

AN: once again, i will use dottore to dispose of my emotions

Synopsis: In which Dottore comforts you... or something

Pairing: Il Dottore x fem(ish)!reader

Warnings: it's... sappy... it's fluffy..., the reader has vague mentions of childhood, a grain of angst

WC: ~2.1k

You feel like there is a good chance he may not know how to store the things you confess to him, yet his words in return are adorned with care as if he’d reserve every thought for you. Out of the vast population, there are more of him than there ever will be of anyone else, his segments collecting experiences and stimuli all on their own… With that logic, perhaps he is the most qualified to sift through your mind, having also gathered and simulated dreamscapes and nearly constructed a ‘god’.

Though the more you thought, the more intimidating it became… Your problems were naught compared to the lifestyle of malevolence he cultivated, but here you both sat anyway. His fingers wisp mindlessly beneath the hem of your shirt as you lay back upon his chest. To you, he was a puddle of sunshine that poured through the window to lay in, his heat lulling you as if his embrace were the safest, most secure place to ever be. Your eyes were not squeezed but closed gently as the tides of his breathing buoyed your body ever so slightly. He watched his own hand as it brushed your skin, caught up in the fact that you both were here like this, so easily… Naturally.

“Darling…” He called lightly from above you, your heart must’ve been in a fragile state leaping like it did as he’s called you that hundreds of times.

“I’d just rather lay here like this, on second thought… Please. I don’t want to burden you, especially with things I can’t control or change.”

You could feel the pull of his furrowed brows at your throat, “Burden me. I want your burdens just as desperately as I require any other part of you…”

Your head rolled back and forth in the crook of his neck, “I’d really rather these thoughts go away on their own, but it appears that may never happen.”

“Precisely. Thoughts aren’t flies that simply die when trapped for too long, instead, they will mutate to ensure they stick around until you air them out… No matter how you’ve branded them, or how much value you think they may or may not have, I’d like to hear them… If you’d let me.” His voice implored your mind gently into the open as if coaxing it with a treat.

Lashes hung slack in your vision as you searched for the willpower, “I’ve just been feeling… It’s been reduced to vague depression, really. I try to choke out my emotions about certain things, and I am well aware that that method isn’t really effective. I feel disappointed but I don’t know why anymore.”

“You don’t know what’s causing you to feel this way?” He paraphrased as he followed your words.

“See? It’s idiotic to even mind the past, especially childhood when nothing was up to me… Yet here I am, decades later, contemplating the same people as if they’re supposed to mean something to me by default. Where these things, still, cannot be helped.”

“If I may…” His voice barrelled through his throat despite it being not much beyond a whisper, “I’m not particularly versed in handling emotions myself, darling, I’ll be frank, but I find that you have an issue with accepting that you even have them to begin with. In doing so, you’re not really creating a space within yourself to, at the very least, just… Be.”

“I know… I have thought about my parents for all my life, in fact, they were most likely the first thoughts I ever had… I am so… So tired of wondering what could’ve been. I just want all of it to disappear.” Your face tensed, eyes painting the back of your eyelids frantically.

“I understand…” He opted to let the silence interject as need be, not knowing the best words to use and when.

“...All I ever wanted, like any child, was simply just a family. I just wanted to be wanted by them, yet in what I thought to be my own home, I felt as if I’d been orphaned. I often wondered why our dining room table had more than one chair. It just feels so pathetic, what I’ve been left with now… I thought I’d outgrow the loneliness I felt as a child, like my clothes, but…” Much to your dismay, you felt the wetness from your eyes trying to pry its way out in streams.

You couldn’t even hear his breaths as he’d maintained his stone silence while he listened, it was almost unsettling, “I’m sor–”

“Don’t.” His response snuffed out your apology, “I didn’t necessarily know you felt this way… Then again, I don’t really know much of anything about your family.” His hand meandered up to twist a random strand of your hair, you weren’t sure if this was as a means to comfort or to distract, “I can say… There are two chairs at our table for a very intentional reason I’d never allow myself to forget. The most lovely reason I get to look at almost every evening, wondering how… How she has the patience, for one…” You smiled abashedly as he spoke through a floating chuckle, “And how she chose me to be a part of her family. If not anything else, you and I are family and I will always be at your table, darling. Anytime.”

Your face was scrunched in an attempt to fend off bursting into tears, which couldn’t have looked very pleasant. He could feel your breaths trip over themselves as you sniffled, making him blush slightly as he recalled his own sappy monologue, but he meant every syllable. It wasn’t so much the desire to soothe that embarrassed him, but the realization that you made him feel so at ease, that even in sadness, he knew there was safety. He wasn’t very familiar with the concept himself prior to meeting you, a journey it surely has been.

“Of course you’re my family, Zandik… Absolutely.” Your glassy voice scraped his heart, shattering his own composure, as the more he contemplated a way to console you, the more he realized, too… He’d never had an ideal family life either. Your words were those he never knew he needed as he sat helpless within the first high of this unfamiliar feeling of blatant security.

He turned so as to set his lips heavily on the top of your head for a moment, practically absorbing you into him, a strange kind of aggression brewed. He wanted to dote on you so hard that any antagonizing thought would be minced to dust, embrace you so as to wring out anything that brought you sorrow… He wanted to give you so much more than just this metaphorical table– perhaps the entire home, with as many floors as you like, a grand garden in the backyard, a pool... Why determine bounds to what he’d give– He took in a breath to stop himself from letting the rabid, emotional dog loose in his mind.

The accepting silence gathered your tears as you were able to just lay in his presence comfortably once more, “I feel the inescapable need to kiss you but I also don’t want to move.” You shimmied in his grasp so as to get even more snug.

He couldn’t agree more, “Quite the predicament, as I’m pretty comfy myself…” He hummed, completely content… Aside from the brief chill that brushed his lips where yours should be. He waited for a moment to see if you’d break first, finger still intertwined in your strands.

You forced a breath into your lungs, seeing as he wouldn’t budge beneath you, not even for show. You sat forward, leaving what felt like his entire body bare from where your warmth was, adjusting yourself to straddle over his outstretched legs to leisure on his lap. He couldn’t fight the tickle of a grin pulling at his already taut features, eyeing you with a dense kind of anticipation. Your hands instinctively found either side of his face, admiring him as you did so. It looked as if his face were hewed and sanded with an artisanal attention to detail, while sharp at first glance, his features were accentuated with an unexpected softness. His gaze seemed to dance with yours like yin to yang, amused by your gawking, mirroring you with his own observations of your delicate face.

Your right hand wandered to brush a piece of frosty blue hair away, his eyes closing as he found peace in your movements. You could almost hear the summer breeze whirling from within your heart at the sight, the sickening delirium of sheer love for this curious man before you causing your trees to sway.

While he undoubtedly loved when you kissed him, this kind of moment made his soul broil in an inexplicably intoxicating way. Like watching the strands of a rope unravel between you two, the tension pulled sweetly at every ligament, every nerve. He kept his eyes closed as you pecked the tip of his nose, crinkling it upon contact.

“Thank you for listening to me…” Your words were hesitant, almost peeking around your back as you spoke them.

He allowed his hands to mold to your waist, holding you, “I’ll always listen.” His eyes a rich mahogany as they fixed themselves on yours, “Please never feel guilty for sharing yourself with me. Or, at least know that I would never be annoyed or angry with you for doing so… You know very well that I’m somewhat of a glorified mess, darling.”

Your lips stamped the apple of his left cheek, “I like your mess, though. Very much so.”

“You would be the only one, I can hardly stand myself, especially with the… Other clutter.”

A kiss to his right, your hair grazed his forehead each time you neared. You could feel his cuffed hands rise up your sides, wondering how long you’d neglect his lips, “Just kiss me, please?”

“I have been…” You grinned, obviously avoiding him now.

He lightly grabbed your face in return, halting your game as he rolled his eyes playfully, “‘Inescapable’, you said earlier, yet you opt to tease me instead…” He tsked. Your face reddened slightly, he could feel the heat in his palms, “Adorable. Can’t even stand up to me when I call you out, huh?”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” Your voice flicked at the end in suggestion.

He leaned into you, giving you a few quick kisses around your chin, finally landing on your lips as he was unable to wait any longer. The crowd in your heart was growing belligerent as if he’d never touched you before now. To be able to still taste this frenzied feeling between you swept you into your own sea. You sang a light hum into his mouth as his lips pressed into yours, properly breathing you into himself.

He made you so addictingly dizzy, each of your senses completely captivated by him as your movements were like a leaf in an almost stagnant pond, slow with purpose. Becoming too aware of the sounds between you made your face burn even harder yet, a bashful smile caused you to break it briefly.

Your expression was impossible to divert from as he fed off of the overt desire embroidered into every pore of your face. Your lips were wet and plush, your eyes uncertain about where they should land, all making him want to be locked in a perpetual kiss with you for as long as time. His body seethed, trying to maintain a certain genre of composure, but he couldn’t help but become acutely aware of the weight of both your body and your gaze on top of him. He sealed your lips once more, ignoring which way his thoughts pulled him, just focusing on you alone.

You noticed the clear increase of intensity, following the accidentals of his movements as he let his hands fly all about your silhouette. You’d not allow the way he groaned softly into you to miss your ears, causing you to stop before a point of no return.

“Are we just… Incapable of not obliterating the other at any moment?” Your breaths were chasing each other quicker than before, you leaned your forehead on his.

He laughed through his nose, defeated, “It often appears that way. You just… I have a hard time reserving myself around you, especially when you’re sitting so pretty on top of me like this…”

You nudged into his forehead in playful reproach, “I love you.”

His insides bloomed upon your words, or perhaps… The entire process of germination and a few cycles of photosynthesis happened spontaneously as he felt his body renew itself, almost painfully so, “...I love you.”