hubertbreast

Latest Posts by hubertbreast

House md is such a trip because House and Wilson are standing cock to cock, tip to tip, packer to packer, emotionally and physically. House's employees have a polyamorous codependent relationship while also being at each other's throats constantly. Foreman's so represssed they think he's gay, Chase is so sexually active that he can't possibly be straight, Taub and Kutner scissored, Cameron's probably gay but she has a job to do so she isn't going to think about it too hard, Thirteen is bisexual and went to jail once. Everyone has used drugs recreationally at least once. They break into everyone's home then insult the state of their home and then diagnose the patient based on a "That's so Raven" vision that House has. They shouldn't have been doctors, they would all thrive better as Waffle house employees that leap over the counter to fight customers.

greg house stays in the closet so he can say faggot and have people get offended by it

House would have figured out what’s wrong with Will Graham after nearly killing him and would have been like oh yeah also your therapist has been feeding you poison chicken soup that’s why you’re getting worse, probably should check his freezer too the guys not subtle with the cannibalism. But it’s easy to miss all this when you’re getting bent over the therapy chair instead of sitting in it.

truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest

House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"

Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him

House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working

Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?

House: 5.3 inches

Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that

let’s commit medical malpractice with mama

i know the idea of 'hear me out' type posts is weird non-conventional attraction but i also have a fascination for the people whos 'hear me outs' are conventionally attractive characters from the most OBSURE media. like if you were asked to name a sexy character and your first thought is the girl from a mostly forgotten 1980s canadian animated scifi musical im gonna be way more intrigued by whats going on in your brain than if you had said like. the dragon from shrek yknow.

hannibal is so cringefail because how do you successfully get away with literal murder and cannibalism for years all while being a well respected sophisticate and food connoisseur and then risk it all for a guy covered in dog hair who is also an asshole and also wants to kill you real bad

Okay, let me ramble.

My personal headcanon is that Abigail was a very fragile and easily sick when she was a little child and that's why Hobbs was so obsessive with his daughter and so his love ultimately became toxic.

one of my favourite genres of character is , specifically a doctor or scientist who is So deeply evil coded but they're a member of the good guy team & actively helping. & theyre not even a reformed villain theyre just like that. going hehehehehee in their dark scary lab while developing an device that will actually help a lot of people

I believe wholeheartedly that neither Will nor Hannibal can use the internet properly.

Hannibal: Look at this, Will *sends AI video of a dog fishing* Hannibal: This is all I ever wanted for you. For both of us. Will: it's beautiful Hannibal: *sends another AI video of a dog and a deer dancing to Tchaikovsky* Two animals, never known to communicate with each other. So far from humanity, yet so understanding of each other in their shared experience. Music, wonder, passion and glory. A symphony of understanding that no other man could even fathom. Will: the dog has too many fingers it must have a genetic disorder Hannibal: Strange, unusual. Just like you.

let’s hide the body with mama

Who made this edit, it's the most valid one

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?

like

encountering an inconvenience while cold: damn that sucks, oh well, i’ll figure something else out!!

encountering an inconvenience while hot: we all deserve to die right now, come on everyone, lets all go die

I’m sorry—

Pleasepleaseplease can someone draw this except it's Patrick eating Paul's business card

Taking a much needed rest with a new friend

god I hate this

i know i already posted about this but STANFORD. listen to me carefully. STANFORD. WOULD. bring stanley back. if he accidentally pushed him into the portal. LISTEN. TO ME CAREFULLY.

if stanley went into the portal, stanford would bring him back. maybe with some hesitation, considering the possibilities, the risks; but all in all, he would know how to get stanley back safely. he would CARE enough to bring him back safely. despite having arguments, both of them CARE SO MUCH about each other.

stanley only took 30 years getting stanford back because he didnt know HOW and he desperately wanted to teach himself how. so if anything, stanley going into the portal would be the BETTER scenario! stanford would KNOW how to bring him back, and QUICKLY!! he BUILT the damn thing, and he would know how to operate it.

the only reason he was mad at stanley for opening the portal to save HIM was because he believed the risk of bill destroying the world outweighed his own safety because of his own guilt and self-loathing for creating the portal in the FIRST PLACE. but stanford wouldnt feel the same about stanley because that was his brother, who was an innocent bystander in the situation

sorry guys they make me ill 🤕

yeah so i love them

agent trigger and agent powers... but WOMEN!!!!!!! AAAHHHH

i literally dont ever post on tumblr but i fucking HATE STANFORD DATING HEADCANONS!!!! "he would hate whenever you go on adventures with him" NO HE FUCKING WOULDNNTNTNFBAHAAHSHSGEJEJDHEJRJJJH FRODIRIR GGRRROWOOWWL GRROIOWWL WJY ARE YOU MISUNDERSTANDING HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER OMG IM GONNA FREAK. "if stanley went into the portal, he wouldnt bring him back" YES HE WOULD OH MY GOD. HE LITERALLY WOULD KNOW HOW TO. "he would only talk about himself/all conversations just end up being about him" STOP. YOU'RE WRRROOAAWNG. LITERALLY NEVER TOUCH A KEYBOARD AGAIN.

non furries are so annoying about the semantics of calling something a furry. "erm wouldnt that be like.. a feathery???" its an avian and its still a furry. ok yes you can call the slug a slimy thats funny. but these are all fursonas. unless theyre not. i hope this hurts you