I Do Not Remember The Child I Was Before

i do not remember the child i was before

their memories out of reach, just beyond my fingertips

i want badly to connect with them again, to be who i was before

my feet on the shifting sand

i smell the salt in the air, gray waves like years washing away

i am sinking deeper, farther, closing my eyes and reaching for that child

they are standing alone on the horizon, facing away from me

i can't move, i can't breathe, my heart is weighing me down

and as i'm choking on sand, my eyes are barely visible, but pleading, begging for just a glance, a hint, a single smile

the child doesn't turn back

i'm swallowed by my grief

More Posts from Hope-di-angelo and Others

10 months ago

List of “gushing to your friends about the person you’re literally head over heels in love with” prompts

Requested by: Anonymous Request: “any chance you could prompts A telling their friends that they have a crush on B?”

“Okay, we get it — you’re in love with [insert Character B’s name]. You don’t have to keep reminding us.”

“Have you ever thought about telling them about how you feel instead of like… Telling us about it?” “Um, no, because I don’t want to embarrass myself and I’d rather fangirl/fanboy over them from a distance.” 

“Oh, what I would give to talk to them…” “Huh? Then… Talk to them? I don’t understand why you’re making it sound like such a dilemma—”

“I had the most romantic dream about them.” “Oh God, here we go again…”

“With the way you talk about them, do you ever stop to consider that maybe your feelings run deeper than you seem to realise?”

“If they think they’re the best thing to have graced planet Earth then they’d be absolutely right.”

“If they called and told me they needed me right now, I’d drop everything and run to them.”

“They own me.” “That sounds weird, but sure.”

“I don’t believe in being a simp for anyone but yourself, but hear me out—”

“I will do whatever it takes to win their heart.” “I’ll do whatever it takes for you to stop saying that and actually do something.”

List Of “gushing To Your Friends About The Person You’re Literally Head Over Heels In Love With”

Join my Discord server: Steaming Dumplings Nation

1 year ago

KMDMCJJDD. WHY HADN'T I THOUGHT OF HOW WALKER IS PRACTICALLY A PERCABETH LOVE CHILD?!?!?!?! THE SMALL CHANGES TO THE STORY MAKES HIM JUST A TEENSY BIT MORE LIKE BOOK ANNABETH TOO, OMFGS

I don't mind that Walker Scobell doesn't look like book!Percy because 1) he's absolutely got the spirit. Walker basically is Percy, you can see and feel that in every one of his scenes, and

2) If book!Percabeth had a baby, he would look exactly like Walker Scobell, and I think that's hilariously perfect

7 months ago

November 3rd

November 3rd 1959 - Sirius Black was born premature to Walburga and Orion Black.

November 3rd 1970 - Sirius Black received his letter to Hogwarts. Regulus Black cried, he didn't want his brother to leave.

November 3rd 1971 - Sirius Black's twelfth birthday. His new best friends, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew threw a surprise birthday party in their dorm. The three of them also snuck out after hours and dumped a bucket of soap on the caretaker, Filch. None of them realised their fourth member, Remus Lupin was tearing himself to shreds in the Shrieking Shack.

November 3rd 1972 - Sirius Black is contacted by his Aunt Andromeda. It was the beginning of Sirius Black's rock music phase. The Marauders (as dubbed by Professor McGonagall) pranked the school by casting rain clouds inside the Great Hall and soaking everyone.

November 3rd 1973 - Sirius Black got his first girlfriend, a Hufflepuff named Eleanor. Remus Lupin fought not to be angry about it and James potter organised a common room party with lots of music, people and the boys got their first taste of firewhisky.

November 3rd 1974 - Sirius Black realised he was queer when a fifth year Ravenclaw snogged him in the stairwell outside the loudest common room party yet. Remus Lupin was still in the Hospital Wing, however the boys snuck in close to midnight so he could say happy birthday.

November 3rd 1975 - Sirius Black kissed Remus Lupin when they were getting ready for the common room party. Sirius Black had then watched as Remus Lupin fled. Both of them got incredibly drunk and it would be a while before they talked.

November 3rd 1976 - Sirius Black didn't get a common room birthday that year. He didn't want one anyway, he was still reeling from what he'd done. Remus Lupin wished him a happy birthday for appearances sake. Neither of them could look each other in the eye.

November 3rd 1977 - Sirius Black had the best time of his life. He danced with his boyfriend, Remus Lupin, played 'Ballroom Blitz' to the record on his guitar in front of the entire House, danced some more with his boyfriend, played truth or dare with his friends, snuck to the Astronomy Tower with Remus Lupin, both incredibly drunk and dared each other to count the stars. They fell asleep and woke to the sound of owls screeching. Sirius Black knew this was the best birthday he would ever have.

November 3rd 1978 - Sirius Black knew the war had intensified. The Order barely had time to celebrate Christmas, let alone birthdays, however Euphemia Potter made him a red and gold cake and they had a small gathering in celebration. It was a quiet day and the threat of the war was in everyone's minds. If had felt wrong to celebrate when their friends were fighting for their lives.

November 3rd 1979 - Sirius Black didn't celebrate his birthday. He was still grieving the loss of his brother, Regulus Black. Remus Lupin tried to help, but he kept being pushed away until he stopped trying. Sirius Black knew that was the day things started to fall apart.

November 3rd 1980 - Sirius Black was in hospital after a mission gone wrong. Remus Lupin had sat by his bedside for three days until he was forcibly removed by Dumbledore and thrown back to the front lines. Sirius Black woke up the day after to an empty chair and a sad heart. Doubt began to set in and he urged the Potter's with newborn Harry to make Peter secret keeper.

November 3rd 1981 - Sirius Black sat alone in his cell, wishing upon every star he could go back and get one more hug from his Moony. Oh, he missed his moon so much. The stars didn't feel right without the moon. He didn't feel right without his Moony. He hadn't felt right in years.

2 years ago

“She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.”

— j. iron word

1 year ago

Do you ever think about how the December full moon of 1977 was on December 25th, meaning Remus had to spend his last Christmas at Hogwarts clawing at his own skin and writhing in pain? Or are you normal?

But I guess he at least spent it with his 3 best friends, one of whom betrayed them-

I can't


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1 year ago

Do you ever forget what gender you are and then someone says like "She's the only girl....*blah-blah*...." and then you're hit with a "Oh, shit. I, too, am a girl. What the fuck."

Or am I weird?


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7 months ago

He was such an icon though😩🤌🏻

Peeves

Peeves

Peeves was a poltergeist at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, since c. 993.

1 year ago

Thank you for my new phobia

You know what panics my soul? The possibility of the Percy Jackson show not reaching its conclusion. Like, we're talking about five vastly different seasons, at least five years of allowing this show to run. And let's be honest, lately a lot of really good things have been getting cancelled. I mean, it doesn't even matter if you have the numbers anymore. I've mostly seen lots of people really excited for The Titan's Curse, which is not that far away, but still... there's a whole season in the middle that needs to be approved. For my part I really want to see The Last Olympian, as it's one of my favourite books ever, but I'm so damned scared of the possibility that all we're going to get is this one season. And it terrifies me how many people talk about future things, mainly Nico, as if they're a given. Because they're not. There's a real possibility we aren't going to be able to see this through.

2 years ago

CARDAN GREENBRIAR

Cardan Greenbriar, who taunted Jude because he didn’t know how to express his feelings.

Cardan Greenbriar, who admires instead of despises Jude’s thirst for power.

Cardan Greenbriar, who can’t lie about how beautiful he thinks Jude is.

Cardan Greenbriar, who said “kiss me, kiss me until I am sick of it.”

Cardan Greenbriar, who stole Jude’s ring then married her with it.

Cardan Greenbriar, who wrote his wife letters even though he was the one who put her in exile.

Cardan Greenbriar, The High King of Elfhame.

1 year ago

jude would rather lose cardan all together than to control him and bound him to her in his serpent form... no i'm not crying ur crying😭😭

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hope-di-angelo - Hope Di Angelo
Hope Di Angelo

Who/Where | 18 | Ravenclaw | Carpe Diem, bitch☆

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