"At Last"

Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 21: Music & Lyrics

Die Welt steht still // The world stands still zwischen uns // between us Mach die Augen wieder auf // Open the eyes again Atme langsam wieder aus // Breath out again Die Welt steht still // The world stands still

[Die Welt steht still - Revolverheld]

"Die Welt steht still" is about two people who slowly drifted away from each other. They have changed over time and each of them has made a lot of mistakes which are now mounting up in between them and creating some sort of an invisible wall. He sings that he doesn't know whether it's too late to forgive all of that, to see each other anew, but he is willing to try it. It's all up to the other.

What really impressed my about this song is the video. It adds a complete new layer of meaning to it. You can see a woman who is pulled out of a river and people running her way trying to save / reanimate her. It was actually this life saving aspect that really caught my attention.

With the woman coming back around during the end of the video it is very clear how the story in the song is supposed to end, I rather wanted to show the uncertain state before the decision instead. I'm not sure myself though, whether this will be a "life saving" or a "going down together" story or something else completely.

Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 8: Banter

"Man, I wish I had funny friends", Lea sighed while he leaned on Isa's shoulder. Isa leveled a glare at him and his voice took on a very dry tone: "Well, you're already enough of a clown for both of us. Thrice." Yet when Lea started to grin and said that he was proooobably right about that, Isa couldn't help smiling. "You're an absolute idiot." It wasn't what he had wanted to say, but he knew Lea would understand it anyway. He always did.

“Seems like you’re suddenly part of this, Blue Prince.”

Because the name "Blue Prince" made me laugh too hard. (And because "a long day" sounds very exhausting.)

To you, keybladess It's your fault after all. xDD

"But I promise to be there one day to wake you up." 12 Days.

Okay, imagine how different everything would have been if Aqua hadn't sacrificed herself for Terranort. It's sad that it was an act of deep friendship that paved the way for so many bad things ...

(referring to this post)

So, I decided to do it like this from now on. Writing all the background info on my pictures in an extra post, rather than stuffing it into the caption. I just don’t feel very well when people reblog pictures with my sometimes very personal thoughts in the captions. It’s strange to see that on other people’s blogs. Also, this way I can write to my heart’s content. All of the unnecessary stuff noone wants to know anyway! <3 Yay.

(I’ll tag this as “dias art blabber”, by the way.)

So, let’s do this. Background infos, thoughts and close ups below the cut.

Starting Point // Summary? There were three reasons for this picture: a) another onset of winter in the midst of May gave me the right inspiration to finally get that spring flower thing out of my head; b) the nice tags by some people added drastically to that + someone wrote that they “miss miss miss” my art and apparently they only ever see my akusais, so here you go ;) ; and c) it’s my 78th post. It called for some AkuSai. -like stuff.

Finding the motif // flowers The basic idea behind this picture was Roxas with this flower. We call them Sky’s/Heaven’s Keys. (sky and heaven are the same word in German ... I guess it means heaven, but I always understood it as sky. When I was a child I’d always imagine flying and unlocking the sky with one of those flowers …) They are my absolute favourite spring flowers and I found them fitting for Roxas. Not just because of the name, but also on an emotional base.

I figured quiet fast that I should get Xion and Axel onto the pic as well. Xion would of course get Forget-Me-Nots. Which is not very creative, I guess. xD Yet so undeniably fitting. For Axel it was Cuckoo’s Flowers. One of the few pink things I liked as a child. Probably because it wasn’t some “girlish baby colour”, but a really hot pink that really sticked out. Aaaalso, cuckoos are brood parasites, not so sure how you think about that, but in my opinion that connotation suits Axel.

// the rest Still I didn’t know how to get that onto a picture. Until it snowed some day in the middle of May. This was exactly the input I needed. I just thought, that if the Sea Salt Trio was spring flowers, then Saix would be the snow. The last picture followed to bring the picture to an end. It seemed so unfinished, almost like a lie, with the three of them happy.

Upload // Or: Tumblr hates me I did really have a hard time uploading this thing. I literally tried everything. Even with the supposingly working size of 540 x 810 px the pictures were still blurry ... I even tried to reduce the height by cutting the pictures into parts. Still blurry. At some point I just decided that I didn’t care anymore. They are clear on my blog or when they are clicked. That’s enough.

Close Ups // I promised them and here they are! That’s about the size I worked on when I was colouring, the original sketches are waaay smaller, they are drawn on DIN A4 paper (see comparison in the end). 

I like to set these two into some sort of ... contrasting parallels? Like, creating opposites, yet showing the similarities at the same time. Wow, does this even make any sense? xD I used more colour on the bottom of the last picture, because I really wanted the red to be strong there. That image is supposed to have a sad at first and then almost hateful atmosphere. I wanted it to have an unsettling effect  when scrolling down (and letting it sink in, of course).

Axel looks like a flower himself. x’D Especially in those colours …

When my youngest sister saw the picture with the three of them she asked me, if they were marrying. x’D

Size comparison with the actual drawing; the flowers in their hands are like super mini tiny.

So, in case you did read this, thanks a lot! Would you mind letting me know what you think about it, please? Like, does it make sense to do this? What are the interesting parts? What is not? Anything else that you would like to know/see? Did you like the close ups?

Anyway, thank you very very much for showing interest! :D That’s basically the reason for me to finish pictures and put them up on here. You, that is.

[2am]

I had trouble sleeping again lately, so I decided to put the thoughts and feelings that kept me awake on paper. The only rule to myself was to draw what my hands felt was right, not what my head thought was.

It feels ... good. And it helps a lot too.

Tagging as NSFW for nudity, but honestly, nothing was intended to be sexual in any way.

(Also, seems I was wrong when I said, I’d never post any Voltron fanart ever again. I didn’t think I’d fall this deep into it. Please, be kind, Voltron fandom ... )

The irony that it took two life ruiners in order to get my life straight again.

(or: when crying over a fictional friendship helps you to somehow save an almost lost real friendship.)

I just can't believe what an idiot I was.

Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 22: Hair 1/2

(No, you're looking adorable.)

This is a pretty old picture (must be 2012). I actually wanted to redraw this for this prompt, but someone else already did something very similar, so I decided to do something else. Still I do like this pic, so I thought I'd upload it anyway. :D The second fill for this day will probably take a while anyway.

This was actually a scene I really wished for in an Organization 13 RP I had with friends a (long) while ago. I just wanted Axel and Saix to take a shower together OR ACTUALLY SOMETHING, but nothing like that ever happend. xDD Our Axel was waaaay to indecisive for it. I mean, when we stopped this RP it had over 76 000 posts – and Axel and Saix were no pairing yet. xDD And they were the reason we (or at least I) started this thing in the first place. Seriously, whatever. xDD

Finally finished playing all the Professor Layton games (except for the ones only available in JP), and: I’M IN LOVE. (All this logic, all this consistency T u T It makes me so happy~) Miracle Mask is my favourite!! And Azran Legacy. And The Unwound Future. And Randall. RANDALL. And Alfendi. ALFENDI. And EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!!

AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 7: SET C - “Explosion”

I saw him coming.
 Never before had I seen anything like what he held in his hands, but I didn’t need to to know it was dangerous, that he was dangerous. 
I shouted out to you, reached for you in order to push you out of his way, but you grabbed me instead and held on to me. I don’t even know if that’s what you were planning to do, but you acted as a shield to me, the last thing I would have ever wished for.

I won’t ever be able to forget the pain I saw in your eyes as you disappeared without another word.

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