If The Great British Bake Off Had Lewis, Ollie, Lando, George And Alex In Their Celebrity Season (all

if the great british bake off had lewis, ollie, lando, george and alex in their celebrity season (all the brits and yes im counting alex):

Lewis: Tries his best, but ultimately underestimates how difficult baking vegan goods is and adds like 5x more xantham gum than needed - somehow, it's still passable as a baked good and it looks quite nice so he gets some points for that, but god, who knew cake could bounce?

Ollie: Acts like he knows what he's doing, tries to copy what he's seen on the show, but somehow uses only forks, breaks a stand-mixer, and winds up with a burnt crisp of a lump that might have gained sentience that the judges can't even stand to be around - they have a hard time telling him he's made poison bc he just looks SO proud of himself

Lando: Starts off pretty well, trying to make something simple but (hopefully) fool-proof, but doesn't know how to work any kitchen appliances and sets the oven to like 200 degrees celsius and forgets to set a timer - almost the same outcome as Ollie but the judges do recognise the baked good as a cake so!!

George: Aggressively over-plans his idea, coming up with a complicated mix of flavours and design, which would be awesome if he were good at baking - unfortunately, he winds up making a beautiful, but shockingly disturbing-tasting cake - george admits that he probably isn't a good enough baker to be able to add ginger, spinach and chia seeds into a sweet cake and make it work. The judges appreciate his effort but ask him to never bake again

Alex: Somehow does the best out of the group, not by skill but by pure vibes - understands he's not a great baker and like Lando, goes with something simple. Unfortunately, his downfall comes when he makes one crucial mistake like mixing up sugar and salt which brings the whole jenga tower of cake crashing down - he tries to make some bullshit up about how it's a "savoury cake" but it doesn't land with the judges