So How Loki's Splitting Thing Works While He's Chained Is That He Cant Wield A Weapon

My dumb af memes have been making people mad. 

Loki: sometimes I feel like a horrible father

Alex and Sam: SOMETIMES?!

a comic with some norse mythology

Joanne Harris’ internalized misogyny is SO ridiculous

So this is how Gospel!Loki sees his Sigyn

(Thank you to @yoursaviourhasarrived for this scan)

Before I start speaking about Sigyn, may I just say?

ANGIE??? For real??? HER NAME IS ANGRBODA. NOT “Angie”… how ridiculous is that? PLEASE. That is so… American… (sorry for my American friends, but XD)

Also, his mistress? THAT IS HIS FIRST WIFE. HE WAS MARRIED TO ANGRBODA. Stop changing the place of Loki’s wives to fit your narrative. 

Which means that, well… Angrboda was IN THE PAST, when Loki meant Sigyn. “Angie” is his ex, not his mistress..

“Angie” … SERIOUSLY XDXD

Now, about Sigyn.

Things that Gospel!Loki hates about Sigyn:

- her cooking : Why? Is it bad? I DON’T THINK SO.

- her love for Bragi’s luth-playing: LOL. Why? Are you jealous, Loki? ^^’ COME ON, SING A SONG TO YOUR WIFE.

- her attention and curious affinity with wildlife of all sort: Ahum… You mean that LOKI, who loves to turn himself into random animals, and is linked to many animals, … would hate his wife for talking to animals, and would not agree with her when she says that the little mousie could help them one day?

THAT LOKI IS AN IDIOT.

Random poll : Who is the worst Loki

-Gospel!Loki

- Old!Comics!Loki

Pretty sure Ratatoskr would be BFFs with this Sigyn <3

Ratatoskr: If your bloddy husband keeps being rude, just tell me, and I’ll bite him in the nuts!

Sigyn: You shall do no such thing

Ratatoskr: TRY AND STOP ME

As for the monogamy thing… AS IF LOKI WAS THE ONLY GOD WITH SEVERAL WIVES/LOVE INTERESTS.

You know who got other ladies in their lives? ODIN AND THOR.

And it’s not only the men! The goddesses too got lovers: Idunn, Sif, Frigg, Freya… SIF GOT A KID FROM A MAN WHO IS NOT THOR, and it’s ok!!!

Mrs Harris, did you even READ the Eddas? ‘Lokasenna’, does it ring any bells to you??? 

Anyway, Gospel!Loki complaining about Sigyn being basically a Disney Princess seems SO ridiculous… All the things that Harris pretends Loki would complain about, are pretty much the SAME THINGS Myth!Loki (& possibly MCU!Loki?) would find endearing and cute.

*Gospel!Sigyn baking her pies and talking to her mice friends and making friends that could one day help them*

Gospel!Loki *dramatic sigh*: See what I have to deal with, folks? She’s so annoying and pathetic! I need a REAL woman, like Angie…

Myth!Loki, fangirling: SHE IS SO CUTE!!!! … Wait, who are you calling “Angie”…

Gospel!Loki: Why, my mistress, Angrboda…

Myth!Loki, laughing: YOU CALL HER “ANGIE” TO HER FACE AND YOU ARE STILL ALIVE??? How is this even possible XDXD

MCU!Loki: Well, if you don’t want your Sigyn, I’ll take her. She’s a Disney!Princess, I am a Disney!Prince. It is MEANT TO BE. I’ll trade you a Sylvie for your Sigyn, do we have a deal? :)

Gospel!Loki: What’s a “Sylvie”?

Sylvie: OH NO YOU DON’T. I’d rather have the princess, anyway.

MCU!Loki: You can’t. I called dibs on her!

Sylvie: Well too late, mate! Bye!

Joanne Harris says that Loki is the one saying all those mean things about Sigyn, not HER… Girl, if any god whispered all those lies into your ear, THAT IS NOT LOKI.

I’d bet on Odin… He’s god of poetry, same as Bragi… and I can see him still pretty PISSED at Sigyn for siding with Loki, instead of being a good little Valkyrie, and fight by her king’s side… 

Loki would NEVER insult his wife like this. And most of all, he would never insult the ONE AND ONLY person who stayed by his side and helped him in that dark cave. 

And all the stuff “Loki” reproached Sigyn, they would be on the “No” list for ODIN…. Talking to animals, loving music, gossiping and cooking? XD Why would Loki hate that? ^^’ It’s utterly ridiculous, and 100% out-of-character for him.

I´m a Lokean, of course I have strong opinions about Marvel.

I´m a Lokean, of course I get excited when I see spongecake on sale.

I´m a Lokean, of course I´m emotionally invested in salmon migration.

I´m a Lokean, of course I download any document I see about historical Queerness.

I´m a Lokean, of course I eagerly await the day we can slip our bonds and birth/build a new world on the ashes of the old.

I'm a Lokean, of course I love imagery/references about the renewing and transformative power of fire.

I'm a Lokean, of course I have a script prepared for when someone suggests that Loki and The Devil/Lucifer/Satan are all the same entity.

I'm a Lokean, of course when I trim or lose my nails I think about how many of them it would take to make a longship.

I'm a Lokean, of course I fear change...but know that's not going to stop it from happening. There are things that not even the Allfather can stop.

Loki’s wives and children from Norse mythology deserve more attention

If women are made from elm trees, and men are made from ash trees, then what are people with literally any other gender made of?

Loki: Hold on, Thor, Sigyn is whispering sexy things in my ear.

Sigyn: [whispering] When we get home tonight, I'm going to wash, deep condition, moisturize, detangle, fluff, and brush your hair before wrapping it in silk so it's protected when you sleep. Loki: I'm so turned on right now.

dhdxndyskxndysusjb

You bet your ass. You really think that man, allied himself with a genderfluid, pansexual god for no reason? I should really tell @magnus-falafelking the story of how we met. Wouldn't that be funny.