I Am A Stealth Trans Man, The Privilege I Have Is Being Treated Like A Man As Soon As They See Me

I am a stealth trans man, the privilege I have is being treated like a man as soon as they see me

If I'm applying for a job, I am treated like a woman trying to be perceived as a man, because they still see my legal name and gender marker on my ID.

If I'm trying to date, I'm perceived as a predator by straight women, a confused lesbian by bi/lesbian women (these demographics I rarely, if never go after), a tomboy by straight/bisexual men, and a gay fetishizer by gay men. At best with trans women, I become the therapist, and with trans men, it becomes an argument of passing better or worse and jealousy. That's not to say out of every demographic there are people who handle the relationship properly, but that the majority don't.

In friendships, things can go great for months and months, sometimes even years before they find out I'm trans and they start acting weird about it.

Suddenly they recommend more "feminine" music, hobbies, activities to do with me, they suddenly view me as their therapist to vent about difficulties with women, and that's all the BEST case scenario, that's the BEST thing that could happen from them finding out, this one's also the easiest to handle, "I thought you might like to see my grandmas garden.... My grandpa also likes it... Haha" - "no, nah, I wanna get back to playing eve online with you though, I mean, I do have some fake plants, heard they help with depression, think real ones would last a month at most".

An unfortunate amount of people react to things they don't understand with anger and attacks, whether that be verbal or physical.

I used to be nearly best friends with a girl named Kat. Unknown to me at the time, she had a crush on me. She invited me over, we got to her bedroom (in my mind, to hang out), she pushed me on the bed (I thought it was playful, like wrestling), and she pulled my shirt up and saw my binder, jumped away, and started apologizing. I went home straight after that. After that, she avoided me, and called me a faggot, rapist, molester, and creep after that. I wasn't interested in her at all before or after that, and I wasn't the one who initiated or caused that situation to happen.

Another incident was while I was at the mental ward, in which they usually refused to put my chosen name on the cards, and I would turn it around and write my chosen name every time I saw it. Unfortunately, I usually wasn't fast enough and someone saw my dead name on the card. He started asking me inappropriate questions, calling me a tranny, and eventually lead to him punching me in the face, the police being called, and the police did nothing besides give me a court date in an entire state over, which I had no way to get to, meaning nothing happened and the case was dropped.

A lot of people react to things they don't understand with suddenly disappearing from your life too.

You join a hobby discord server, talk, people think you're cool, they add and DM you, you get along fine talking to each other, you mention as relevant to the conversation that you're trans, the conversation magically fizzles out and becomes dry, and then they stop responding all together, usually intermitten with one or 2 inappropriate questions about your genitals or body or kids or hormones or surgery.

More Posts from Drlickitysplitty and Others

4 weeks ago

Being a system is sometimes being called an inconsistent asshole who can't commit for his life. When in reality your 8 guys in one body DESPERATELY trying to function and everyone keeps forgetting what they said they'd do....


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1 year ago

✍Preston Garvey?

Redeeming aspects of Fallout 4 are this guy, and the retcon of 'cats extinct in Fallout'.

✍Preston Garvey?
1 year ago

Bring back posers as a term please I'm begging if ONE MORE GODDAMN 16 YEAR OLD ASKS WHERE I BOUGHT MY CLOTHES I'M GONNA LOSE. MY FUCKING. MIND.

I HAVEN'T PAID FOR SHIT SINCE 2020 BITCH THESE SPIKES ARE THE BROKEN OFF TINES OF A FORK THE THREAD IS DENTAL FLOSS FROM A PAIR OF JEANS I TOOK APART TO USE THE DENIM TO MAKE PATCHES YEAH NO SHIT I SMELL LIKE SILVER SPRAY PAINT. I'VE HAD THE SAME PAIR OF COMBAT BOOTS FOR SIX FUCKIN YEARS NOW. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY LAYERS OF PAINT AND NAIL POLISH ARE ON THEM. MY WHEELCHAIR GLOVES ARE MORE THREAD THAN LEATHER ATP BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK. THEY'RE STILL FUNCTIONAL.

"but all I can afford is clothes from SheIn and Amazon and I wanna have the punk style"

BITCH STEAL THE CLOTHES. GO TO GOODWILL. YOU KNOW WHAT WE CALL HAVING THE "STYLE" IS BUT NOT THE MINDSET???

A FUCKING POSER

And no I'm not gatekeeping. Anyone anywhere can be punk. BUT BUYING A PRE-PATCHED DENIM JACKET ON AMAZON DOES NOT A PUNK MAKE. BURN YOUR OWN CD'S, PIRATE MOVIES, GO TO PROTESTS, MAKE POSITIVE CHANGE, FORM COMMUNITY IN SOLIDARITY AGAINST OPPRESSIVE SYSTEMS. KILL THE NAZIS INFECTING PUNK COMMUNITIES LIKE A ROTTING BRANCH GETS CUT FROM THE TREE

WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING RAGE??? WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING WEIRDNESS??? WHERE'S YOUR REFUSAL TO FIT INTO THE MAIN STREAM???? WHERE'S YOUR OBSESSION WITH A SKA PUNK BAND FROM THE EARLY 2000'S?!

I saw a TikTok of a person who said they were punk but then proceeded to go on a tirade about not liking the bus because gross homeless people ride the bus

HOW DOES THE BOOT TASTE MOTHERFUCKER

3 weeks ago

YES the Thunderbolts have a fantastic team as family dynamic, yes they are living in Avengers tower, yes history is repeating itself and 2012 tower fics are so back. BUT!

instead of "Alexei eating poptarts" or "Yelena in the vents", we must come up with new headcanons and make history

Bob always does normal domestic chores, often getting in the way of important missions and spy business. "All I'm saying is Bucky is our best sniper" "It would be a much quieter assassination if I just slipped into the condo and cut his—" "Hey sorry guys, anyone have laundry? I'm doing a load"

Yelena and her guinea pig always eat meals together at the dining table. Everyone has their Chinese food or barbeque, meanwhile the rodent is loudly munching on a salad right beside them

Bucky is the mom and always keeps them on track. "Ava you have a dentist appointment in the morning, and bring Bob so they can add him to the insurance. Lena how was therapy? Alexei, I said no vodka until dinner"

Alexei is always coming up with new promotional ideas for the team. Cartoon tv show, cereal, toothpaste flavour...every day he thinks he's come up with the next big thing. Whenever they actually get put into production (Wheaties) he collects and saves it, and won't let anyone use a different product. (He threw out Yelena's frosted flakes and it took both Bucky and John to get her to stop attacking him)

Ava likes to phase and sneak attack her teammates at random. She claims it's for training but really she just thinks it's funny hearing them scream

John gets blamed for everything, even if it isn't his fault. Especially if it isn't his fault: "who ate the last bagel?" "John." "Where's my hair straightener?" "John had it." "Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher?" "Johnnnn"

1 year ago

So im writing for my courier and arcade and losing my absolute mind. Like im writing it but how am i writing this idk. I forgot that writing is fun. also its horrifically gay with the most sickeningly sweet fluff drowning in gore as the descriptors. I NEED to share this once it's done.


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3 weeks ago

No but to be serious guys i didnt expect that movie to be that kind of good. I expected great fights. I expected complicated morals. I did not expect that movie to say i know everything seems hopeless but you dont get a choice, you have to try. I did not expect that movie to say when we are up against an impossible, unjust threat the only way through is freely given kindness and forgiveness. I did not expext that movie to say the real way villans win is by preying on those we’ve already decided are hopeless. I did not expect that movie to say we all have to believe we can get better. Please believe me we can all get better. Oh my god.

10 months ago

i made an abomination


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1 year ago

I've been trying to work on this a comic with Arcade and Infernal. However my shoulder i'm in physical therapy for is really really sore. It's causes me too much discomfort to draw for long or even write without having to just stop. It's taking way longer than i want to draw the comic and finish the fic. RIP my ability to function.

So im writing for my courier and arcade and losing my absolute mind. Like im writing it but how am i writing this idk. I forgot that writing is fun. also its horrifically gay with the most sickeningly sweet fluff drowning in gore as the descriptors. I NEED to share this once it's done.


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1 year ago

Back home- Soldier:76

Back Home- Soldier:76

➤ Request: Could i get soldier 76 / male reader (76-jack that's older please :o) and it's jack proposing marriage to the reader...yes i'm incredibly self-indulgent.

➤ Pairing: Soldier:76 x Male!Reader

➤ Genere: Fluff

➤ Warnings: none

➤ WC: 1k

➤ A/N: of course you can get this! It’s such a cute idea, I love it! Thank you for requesting :D sorry if it seems a little rushed at the end :0

Jack was a reserved man, and still very much is. He’s used to stepping away from others and letting things go. After all, he lost everything he’s ever cared for. His career was ruined—and he was presumed dead—but not only that, he lost those he cared for to the likes of people he fought against.

It was no secret that a soldier like him would be cold and harsh against the world… but there was an exception. There was one person that he could hold and truly say ‘I care for them’ and that was you. Although he was certainly not in his youngest years, that didn’t stop the feelings that were blossoming between the two of you. Feelings that Jack had always longed for, and though he tried to deny it, he fell for you completely. He didn’t want to admit that you were the person who filled up the empty space in his heart. He would do anything to keep you by his side, but then again, he was a busy man.

Though the two of you loved each other very much, it was no secret Jack had barely any time for you. Not that you minded. You knew from the very start what you were getting into, because the day he decided to finally speak of his feelings towards you—or more like you found out about them through his actions—he warned you. He warned you that he’d be gone for days or weeks, and time would be cut short for the two of you. Nevertheless, you accepted him and loved him no matter how much time you had to wait for him at home.

That was the reason why Jack now held a small, yet expensive box in his gloved hand. He had been gone for a few weeks now—having completed a mission in another country—but he was back and ready to see you. Being far from the man he loved hurt him, and left him longing to see you.

He had been thinking this through for a few months now—about proposing to you—because he needed you to stay. No, he wasn’t the best partner, and he knew that. But he wanted to show you just how much he loved you. Just how much he wanted you by his side even if he was gone for so long. He wanted to show you his gratitude for your patience and your love. Although he was nervous, he gripped onto the box and gulped down the knot forming in his throat. He had never been a nervous man until now. Thankfully, his visor masked his expression.

Standing right outside the door that kept him from seeing your face after so long, he finally built up the courage to open it. It was late, and you were most likely sleeping. He made sure to be as quiet as possible, taking his shoes off to prevent any tapping on the floor. He didn’t want to wake you, even if he did want to surprise you.

He continued on his way towards the bedroom, pushing open the door and seeking for you in the darkness. Soon enough, he spotted you curled up under all the blankets on the bed, knowing far too well you fell asleep waiting for him. Your sleeping schedule wasn’t the best, but I guess you were just tired. Carefully, he took off his jacket and visor, unmasking his scarred face and staring down at you with gentle eyes. You really are a masterpiece sent by the heavens.

His intense gaze must’ve woken you up, however, because you started to shift in your sleep until your eyes opened. You couldn’t quite see in the darkness, but you felt the corner of the bed sink, and the familiar smell of cologne hit your senses. “Jack?”

“How’d you know?” he asks sarcastically, but still smiled gently, “I thought you’d be more happy after all this time apart,” but before he knew it, you were already jumping out of bed and embracing him in a tight hug, “I’m so glad you’re here,” you say happily, a smile growing on your face as you pulled back. At this point, your eyes had finally adjusted to the dark as you stared at his scarred face with all the love in the world.

“I thought you’d never return,” you say oh-so-dramatically, kissing on his jaw and pulling him to sit on the bed with you. However, the sound of a small box hitting the floor caught your attention. What made you even more curious was the panic in Jack as he reached down to get whatever fell. You, thinking it was the most reasonable thing to do, reached for the night lamp and flicked it on.

Looking down at the floor, you were surprised to see the box for yourself before Jack took it in his hands. Now, there was just silence. Jack hadn’t moved an inch and so did you. You two kind of just sat there.

“Shit,” Jack finally mumbled and looked at you, noticing how your eyes never left the box. Your heart stopped in your chest because you knew what this was. You were containing your happiness just in case it wasn’t what you were thinking.

“This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out,” he mumbles under his breath and turns to you. A sigh escaped his mouth as there was no turning back now. He got off of bed and kneeled down in front of you, opening the box to reveal a beautiful golden ring.

“I know it’s not romantic—and probably not the way you would expect someone to propose… but I’m doing this because I truly love you. And I can’t live without you,” he pauses and gulps down with nervousness, “you are my whole world, so… will you marry me?”

The breath you had been holding finally snapped as you pushed yourself forward once again, embracing Jack and smiling brightly to the point where your cheeks hurt. “Of course,” you say as you pull his face towards yours, lips crashing together in a passionate kiss. You didn’t care if this wasn’t in a fancy restaurant or in public. You were just happy that the love of your life proposed to you.

“I love you so much,”

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drlickitysplitty - Local Creature
Local Creature

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