Latest Posts by badweatherbartender - Page 7

Hearing them get so excited over the whale fall is so fun I love hearing people who are passionate about their work

I was like "Aww a Diglett themed don-- oh"

You see it's quite simple: if they call the earth Gaia, it's fantasy. If they call it Terra, that's sci-fi

Make the most of the next two months

Get all your vaccines

Travel while we have a functioning DOT

Read and buy books on feminism, anti-racism, pro-lgbt

Attend drag shows

Don't skip any of your classes

Read and buy history books

Find your out-of-state networks

Learn to carry cash

Get birth control solutions

Support the Biden/Harris administration

Postpone large purchases and save money

Be careful of what you say online, like un-ambiguous attacks against the incoming administration, especially in spaces that contain your full name or personal information

Feel free to add on.

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.

i'm sure this all has been said before but i am utterly besotted with how essek's arc in c2 looks from the m9s perspective.

like, you meet a guy with full authority on whether you friend's husband lives or dies. he's mysterious and powerful and will not take any of your bullshit. he's incredibly hot. you invite him over for dinner and he says no i have work and then knocks at your door fourty minutes later and says i changed my mind would you um uh. have me over for dinner. he infodumps to you about driving his father to his own death and also not having any friends. this makes a lot of sense. he wont let you forget about all those favours you owe him but does teach your wizard some baller spells. you fuck off for a couple months. come back in time to attend a fancy party in honour of the peace agreement you busted your entire ass to make happen. out of curiosity you decide to spy on the convo between ludinus and some slightly suspicious dignitary. its like, super easy to do that unnoticed. the dignitary is that fucking guy. holyshit.jpeg . he's still doing his most recognizable gimmick under his disguise. youre like what the fuck man and he starts crying. you fuck off for another couple months. get back. he's incredibly hyped to hear from you and eager af to help. not a mention of the favours you owe is made. halfway through the conversation he stops to rant about how hes a terrible person and will do anything to atone. his devastating puppy eyes are on par with your wizard who he's obviously pathetically in love with. you bring him with you into the worstest couple days of his elven life. he's visibly trembling but like still trying to be cool in front of your wizard. when its over he gives a speech about friendship and love and repenting. he's crying the entire time.

he floats away to go repent. you check in a year later and he's leading a fulfilling life with your wizard. he has not found a way to soft launch his walking normally again . he's one of your bestest friends.

I will not start my NG+ Death March Witcher 3 run, I will not start my NG+ Death March Witcher 3 run, I will not--

I’m extremely glad Sam is recovering, and I’m also extremely glad Critical Role is now structured in way where he was able to handle a huge medical issue in private and only tell the public when he felt comfortable. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have cancer AND face constant scrutiny from a wall of online observers at the same time, so I’m so glad that was avoided. Another win for the necessity of a comfortable distance between viewer and celebrity.

You cannot look me in my eyeballs and tell me "The series really picks up in the fifth book and then they're all bangers, you should try them." I AM NOT READING FOUR SHITTY BOOKS FIRST. WHO HAS THE TIME.

The chili plant made a deal with their God to only be consumed by things that could spread its seeds and fly. The chili received capsaicin, making itself painful to eat for mammals, but not birds, and all was well for the chili.

Then the human shows up, tastes it, and likes the pain. So now there's this flightless fucking mammal eating the chili. Like not even a fruit bat or anything, a flightless fucking mammal chomping on the chili.

What the fucking shit, God, cried the chili, I specifically requested the opposite of this.

Now hold on, wait a moment, replied the God who talks to plants but has no idea what the fuck these apes are going to do next. It might be something cool.

And in a flash of a second, in barely fraction of the time that chili took to develop capsaicin, the humans went from walking across land bridges and rowing little boats across small waters, into building ships that could cross oceans. More humans tasted the chili, and liked the pain. They took the seeds with them, and planted it elsewhere.

See? They spread the seeds.

They're still not flying, said the chili, still feeling insulted and betrayed.

But before the conversation was over, the humans were still not done fucking around and nowhere close to finding out. The ships became machines, and another machine was invented, capable of flight. Now, not only were the humans farming chili on continents far too far away for any of the birds that originally ate it could dream of flying, but the chili flew with them to lands where it could possibly not grow, so that humans over there could also eat it and enjoy the pain.

You see? They spread your seeds and fly.

It doesn't count as keeping a promise if you only manage it by a fucking accident, said the chili, still somewhat insulted. But nonetheless, the chili thrived.

Laid Bare

WinterIron, M, 2k - No-Powers AU, the DUMBEST soulmate AU you’ve ever seen

In theory, the moment you meet your soulmate you’re stripped of all your defenses, laid bare before them in a magical and romantic moment.

In practice… Tony is pissed. He’d really liked that suit.

(AKA the soulmate AU where you lose your clothes when you meet your soulmate. Yes you read that correctly. Don’t think about it too hard lort knows I didn’t)

You ever have an idea that’s so fantastically cracky you just HAVE to do it?

See what happened was…. I said to @saganarojanaolt, AS A JOKE, “Soulmate AU where your clothes vanish.” I’d like to blame her for enabling me but honestly this is mostly all me I just couldn’t stop ahahaha please… enjoy..?

-

Tony knows that Happy has been tactfully avoiding him since the latest incident, but he also knows that Happy is going to be in his office all day today. Tony has had Pepper saving up all of Happy’s paperwork all week to dump it on him today for just that reason, because Tony is tired of chasing him all over the place and Pepper has refused to help any more than that.

And JARVIS won’t help either, that traitor, just because Happy plays chess with the AI and never gets tired of being beat.

But now Happy has nowhere to run, he should be done with the interviews Tony saw on his calendar and just diving into the paperwork and Tony is ready to strike.

“Happy Harold Hogan,” Tony is already saying as he bursts into the office and oops, apparently Happy is not quite done with his last interview yet.

That seems the most likely reason for the man with the brand new suit and the broad shoulders standing across the desk from Happy, apparently forgetting that they were in the middle of shaking hands and jumping as he looks up at Tony with wide eyes. It’s too late to stop now though, Tony has been planning this speech for days, he is on a roll, so he just keeps right on going.

And honestly, if the guy is going to work here he deserves to know that his new boss is a lunatic. And yes, Tony does mean Happy and himself.

“I have a very important question for you,” Tony says, fixing his own attention on Happy again because he doesn’t need to add ‘eyes up the employees’ to this interesting first impression he’s making on the new hire here.

Happy is staring back at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyebrows slowly crawling up his forehead, which Tony is going to take as a sign that he doesn’t want the talking-to he’s about to get but that’s too bad.

“Why,” Tony demands, “am I still hearing that you’re frisking the delivery people? We talked about this. There’s 'taking security seriously’ and then there’s you and you are a lawsuit waiting to happen, stop-”

That’s about the time Tony notices Happy’s office is a lot cooler than he expected. And breezier. Which isn’t right, Tony is in a three piece suit today and he rushed down here before Happy had a chance to grab his paperwork and flee, so he glances dam at himself and sure enough-

“Oh come on,” Tony says, staring down at his own bare chest in dismay. And his bare legs. And his stupid novelty boxers. The cartoon platypuses smile back up at him from the neon blue fabric.

“Meetin’ your soulmate on laundry day, huh?” Says the other guy in the room, who is apparently Tony’s soulmate, and he sounds way too amused, “I used to have those nightmares.”

Keep reading

The Flirt

WinterIron, T, 1.1k - Crack, Humor, established relationship, Tony the Flirt, Bucky is amused, Avengers family shenanigans

A couple folks said they’d be interested in seeing the actual process of me writing an entire fic around one line of dialogue, and that seemed like a fun challenge, so I wrote this fic in a day so I could write THAT.

Just a silly fun little thing please enjoy (and if you want you can find the behind-the-scenes HERE!)

-

“This doesn’t bother you at all?”

“What doesn’t?” Bucky asks, not looking up from his book.

“This,” Scott says again, unhelpfully. The word is accompanied by the entire couch jolting slightly as he flails his arms at the TV, and Bucky finally looks up.

He hasn’t been paying attention while the rest of the room flips through channels and argues about what to watch, but it looks like they’ve temporarily paused on coverage of the SI press event going on right now. Bucky gets a little distracted just watching Tony smile and charm everyone on his way out of the venue, and when he spots Happy waiting nearby he starts calculating how long it’ll take Tony to get back to the tower, but when Scott makes an impatient sound Bucky tears his eyes away from the TV.

“That Tony has to do these things?” Bucky asks in confusion, “I mean, a little, but only because it leaves me stuck hanging out with you assholes.” He leans back to dodge the throw pillow Sam hurls at him from the other end of the couch and then points out, “You’ve been arguing with Clint about The Voice for an hour, that’s longer than the show.”

“I think he means Tony flirting with all the reporters and their camera men,” Natasha chimes in from where she’s curled up in the armchair.

“That is what I mean,” Scott confirms, most of his attention on grabbing one of the spare pillows as ammo just in case and hey look at that, he’s learning.

“Why would that bother me,” Bucky says dismissively, “he’s just flirtin’ his way out like he always does so he can get home quicker. Plus, Tony flirts with everything. Literally, I once saw him run into a chair and then flirt with it.”

Keep reading

Reporter: so, Mr. Stark, tell us, what are going to do this Pride month?

Tony: SI has planned several events actually and for our LGBT+ employees we—

Reporter: I’m sure that’s very interesting, but what about your personal involvement? Sure there’s something you could do from the height of your privilege—

Tony: Oh, me, personally? I’m planning to suck a lot of dick.

Me: I am a relatively smart, capable, mature human being. I can figure things out.

Also Me: *frantically FaceTiming my sister for help so I don’t have to tell the lady I’m babysitting for that I don’t know how to use child-proofed doorknobs*

tf is up with crowley’s pockets

HIS HANDS DON’T FIT IN THEM JKDFHSDJKFHS

I think one of the greatest appeals of Dishonored 2 is how tactile this whole game is.

everything makes these perfect little noises, from the menu screen to typewriters to walking sounds. everything is so alive. the slight camera wobble as you walk. if you play with a controller, the perfectly put vibrations here and there.

it invites to explore, if only just for that.

Ok so if we did get what we all wanted, and V found Johnny's body and both of them were able to get out alive in the end, I love to imagine Kerry and Rogue's reaction to the Johnny who's been changed so much by V. Especially Rogue's reaction since her dialogue if V lets Johnny have their body in the end leads me to believe that she thinks Johnny minipulated V into letting him have their body and probably thinks that Johnny can never change.

But V changed Johnny so much. Kerry and Rogue would see a Johnny who is so incredibly determined not to fuck up what he has with V again. He knows he did once, and to his old choom's surprise he owns up to it but he won't be making that mistake again.

Even if he doesn't immediately change the way he treats everyone, Kerry and Rogue would see the difference in how he treats V. He's honest with V. He treats V with respect, never degrading them outside of friendly jabs and never trying to minipulated them. V would be the first person they'd ever seen Johnny treat with real dignity.

And he wouldn't just treat V with dignity, he'd treat himself with more dignity too. V didn't just give him a second chance on life when they put everything on the line to save him, V had given him an entirely new perspective on how his life should be lived. He's not constantly out of his mind drunk or high anymore, he has value in his life being lived consciously and doesn't want to just waste it away constantly chasing the next best high.

I feel like Kerry and Rogue would be genuinely shocked with who Johnny is after V. And they'd be shocked to see who Johnny is when he's around V. Johnny expresses how he's never been as close to someone as he is to V, by a long shot. It seems like he's the type who only lets anyone so close before putting up a wall and pushing them away. But with V, not only can he say one word to make them bust their ass laughing while he sits there with a shit eating grin but Johnny is also genuinely vulnerable with V. V knows pains of Johnny's that neither Rogue nor Kerry knew existed, and it's obvious to them that Johnny isn't afraid to lean on V's comfort if he needs it. He's never been that close to anyone.

Sure, Johnny would still have everything that makes him the corpo-hating smartass rockerboy they know and love but I genuinely think that his relationship with V would make him a whole new person in the eyes of Kerry and Rogue.

Yes i did more

More text post memes

I believe in low chaos!Corvo being good, despite everything against him and rats and plague and corruption trying to claw their way up from the streets to his throat. But I think his prime quality is resilience.

Ghost+clean hands!Corvo is wonderful and spine-tingling to me because he is well-versed in fighting and killing, but this is him standing against all the traitors. “I will tear you down in ways that make you beg for me to be the murderer you pretended I am.” I love that he canonically executes Burrows post-game. He has no qualms about killing but it will never be on the traitor’s terms

so perfectly cyberpunk for cyberpunk 2077 not to have a ‘happy’ ending but doesn’t make it it hurt any fucking less

Congratulations to Tom Hardy on being the only man in Hollywood to figure out that if he makes us our gay little content, we're gonna give him our gay little money.

scientists in media: we have engineered a brand-new sentient lifeform in our lab but we treat it like an object with cold detachment and refer to as Specimen 1-A and subject it to horrible tests without remorse

scientists in reality: we built two robots that will leave Earth and never return and their names are Percy and Ginny and we gave Percy a family portrait of all our other Mars robots to take along with it and when the anniversary of its landing comes around we’re working on teaching it to sing itself “happy birthday” like we did for the other robot and–

dont you just love capitalism..  

Yknow another reason I love Corvosider is just imagining Corvo falling in love with someone else WAY outta his station.

Like first this man falls for an Empress and then falls for a god? And then they fall for him back?!

Corvo seriously has game and you cannot tell me otherwise. I mean even Delilah says he's hot.

update: those people hired me

today at my internship the literal words “i love efficiency” came out of my mouth in front of people i want to hire me in the future